Pieces of the Puzzle
by violette7
Summary: The gang decides to reunite Brian and Justin with Michael that's right, Michael leading the charge.
1. What Are Best Friends For?

A/N: This began as a Season 3 Brian/Justin reunion fic. I always wished that the gang had told Justin the many things they knew about Brian (as related to Justin, e.g., that Brian had gone to the hospital every night to visit Justin after the bashing). That was my point of departure for the story. However, in the course of writing it, it has become many other things. A rape occurs (though I included no graphic depictions), and Brian and Justin's relationship evolves (to include dominance and submission). Given the circumstances, I hope you'll find that this change is necessary and that it leads to greater intimacy.

Brian's POV

I finished undressing and crawled into bed. I ran my fingers through his blond hair and slowly caressed his soft pale white skin. It glowed in the faint blue light enveloping the bedroom. I smiled weakly, nuzzling his neck, breathing, "Justin…"

Michael's POV

Ben and I were walking down Brian's street headed toward the loft. Despite the fact that Brian had punched me earlier, no, knocked me out, at Lindsay and Mel's party, I needed to know he was alright. To be honest, I felt pretty crappy for saying what I did about Justin. I didn't even mean it. I was just so angry at that little twat, so worried about my best friend, who was clearly beginning his worst downward spiral yet, and so tired of Brian's defending him.

"_Can you believe the nerve of that little twat showing up here with his new boyfriend?!!"_

_The tightness in Brian's face and the profound sadness in his dark hazel eyes as he gazed, yes gazed, at that stupid twink just fueled my ranting: "I told him to stay the fuck out of our lives!"_

_Suddenly, sadness turned into rage as Brian snapped his head back toward me. He spewed venomously, "Why the fuck did you do that?"_

_Incredulous, I shouted, "After what he did?"_

"_He didn't do anything." Brian scoffed. Looking from Justin to me a few times, he continued, "We were never happily married. He was always free to leave. So was I."_

_My voice growing louder by the second, I barked, "You're just saying that. He's a selfish little shit!"_

_At that point, Justin must have heard me yelling because he looked over at us startled. _

_Realizing that Justin was watching, Brian was becoming increasingly uncomfortable. "Be quiet Michael."_

"_He used you and he took from you…"_

_Brian stared at me with pleading eyes, begging me to stop, but I continued, "…and he never gave a thing!"_

_A storm was brewing in those hazel eyes. "I said be quiet!"_

"_If this is the thanks you get for saving his life, if you ask me, it wasn't worth it! You might as well have just left him lying there!"_

_CRACK. Seconds later, the world faded to black._

Remembering the blinding pain, I slowly brought my hand up to my face.

Ben wrested me from my memories: "Is that Justin coming out of Brian's building?"

I looked across the street and spotted him. Watching him walk away casually with a half-smile on his lips, I seethed.

_The loft door slid open with a crash. Brian looked up and smiled. "Sunshine." In a sarcastic tone, he said, "What a surprise!"_

_He stood up from the couch and slowly approached the blond young man, finally leaning against the vertical metal beam closest to the door. Crossing his arms, he raised an eyebrow and stated in a low sexy voice, "Couldn't stay away? Is the fiddler that sexually inept?"_

_Justin waited a heartbeat before closing the distance between them. Smiling broadly, he answered, "Of course I couldn't stay away. You're Brian-Fucking-Kinney!"_

_Brian cupped Justin's face and kissed him, first, gently, and, then, tilting his head, he deepened the kiss, devouring Justin's mouth. Suddenly, Justin pulled away and bent down. Desperately, he unbuttoned Brian's jeans…_

Ben's exclamation interrupted my nightmarish fantasy. "Wait! That isn't Justin. It looks remarkably like him…same height, hair, pale, fragile-looking skin, and even the same clothes, but that's not him. In fact…" Ben trailed off.

"In fact what?" I demanded.

"I know him. He's…"

"He's what?"

"He's…a hustler."

"A hustler?"

"Yes."

"I don't understand."

Ben looked down, apparently collecting his thoughts. Then after a deep breath, he clarified, "It seems pretty clear that Brian hired him."

I burst into laughter. The idea was preposterous. "Why would Brian-Fucking-Kinney, a god, King of Liberty Avenue, need to pay anyone for sex. They should pay HIM!"

Ben sighed. "Michael, he looks so much like Justin, especially in that outfit…"

"What the hell are you trying to say?" I snapped impatiently. But then it dawned on me. I knew exactly what he was saying. "You think he misses the little twat _that_ much?"

Ben nodded his head in the hustler's direction and gestured helplessly with his hands. "Doesn't that seem obvious?"

"But, I mean, uh…" I shook my head, my forehead scrunched into folds, and squinted, trying desperately to make some sense out of this…to understand.

Sensing my distress, Ben asked quietly, "Why did Justin leave?"

"I don't know. I guess because he doesn't believe Brian loves him."

"Do you?"

"Do I what?"

"Do you believe that Brian loves him?"

"I don't know. Maybe. Ma told me a while back that she thought he did."

"Your mother?" Ben asked in surprise.

"Yeah."

"But didn't she hate the fact that Brian and Justin were together? Didn't you tell me that she always said that Brian was incapable of love?"

"Well, yeah."

"What changed her mind?"

I shrugged.

"You never asked? Weren't you curious about what could make her do a 180?"

"Well…not really." In fact, that was the last thing I wanted to know.

"What about you?"

"What about me what?"

He repeated his original question, "Do you think Brian loves Justin?"

"How am I supposed to know," I answered curtly.

Ben looked at me intently, as though he could see right through me, read my innermost thoughts and fears.

"Well…" I sighed loudly and shook my head. In a flat tone, I begrudgingly conceded, "Yes. I think maybe…_maybe_…he does."

Ben squinted a little, looking to the right, apparently trying to remember something.

A couple minutes later, he glanced up at me quickly, a light shining in his eyes. "Michael, you told me a while ago that Brian played a prank on the judge who sentenced Chris Hobbs."

"Yeah." Thinking back to the day Lindsay, Mel, Emmett, Ted, Brian, Ma, and I were at Woody's watching the news report on that incident, I laughed. Still chuckling, I elaborated, "Brian put glue on the toilet seat in the stall the judge always used. He was stuck there for like 14 hours or something." I smiled, shaking my head. I loved Brian's pranks.

More solemnly, Ben asked, "Did you ever tell Justin?"

"Huh…no."

"Why not? Don't you think it might have helped him cope with the fact that Hobbs got off with a slap on the wrist? Especially since he lost so much."

Stunned, I couldn't respond. A couple minutes later, I managed, "I guess…"

"So why didn't you tell him?"

"I…don't know. I just never thought to."

"Did you ever tell anyone besides me?"

"No."

"So it was a secret that, excepting me, only you and Brian shared?"

"Well…yeah. I mean, we are best friends."

"So you didn't keep this secret because you're in love with Brian? Because, at the time, you still hoped Brian would one day be yours? All yours. Not Justin's."

"No, of, of course not," I stuttered.

"If Justin knew that Brian glued the judge to a toilet, if he knew why Brian punched you at the party, if he knew about the hustler, do you think he would be as convinced that Brian doesn't love him?"

Flabbergasted, I shrugged.

Sighing deeply, Ben wondered aloud, "How many other secrets do you have tucked away? And your mother. Did she ever tell Justin that she thought Brian loved him?"

"I don't know. I don't think so."

"Don't you think Justin would be interested to hear not only that but also the reason for her change of heart?"

"Well, yeah, I guess…What are you trying to say?"

"Your mother is never shy about expressing her opinion. Why now? Why about this?"

Feeling my face grow warm, I answered slowly, "I don't know..." Unable to stand his intense gaze, I looked at my shoes.

Softly, Ben said, "I think you do."

Balling my hands into fists, I shouted, "Fine! Fine! Probably because she doesn't think Brian is good enough for Justin. Course, she has it backwards."

"Hmm. Don't you think it's unfair?"

"What?"

"As I heard it, Brian made a great sacrifice to get you to let go of your fantasy of one day being with him. So you would move in with David. But he hated David, didn't he? He thought that you two would never make it as a couple, right?"

"Yeah. Turns out, he was right."

"Sure, but he was a good enough friend to let you decide who to love. Well, eventually." Ben smiled weakly.

I finally got it. I finally understood what Ben had been trying to drag out of me. "Yes."

"I bet every other member of this unique 'family,' your mother, Lindsay, Mel, Ted, Emmett, and Vic, has a similar story about Brian, a piece of the puzzle. They, either favoring Brian or Justin, have probably kept it hidden for one or the other's own good. But that's not fair, is it? Sad, really. If Brian and Justin love each other, and I think they do, to separate because Brian is too afraid to admit how he feels out loud…" Face tightening and eyes darkening, Ben continued, "Life is WAY too short for that. I know."

I reached out, putting my hands on Ben's shoulders and giving him a squeeze. He did know, more acutely than most, how short life was.

Thinking about what he'd said, I let my hands fall and laughed uncomfortably. "So…what? Are you suggesting that we stage an INTERVENTION for Justin? Sit him down and spill our guts?" I laughed hard at the ridiculous thought.

Ben stated quietly, "That's exactly what I am suggesting. How can Justin and Brian have a chance at happiness, together or apart, when there's so much Justin doesn't know? He chose to leave, but would he have done that if he had known what you told me?"

Ben put his hands on my face, lifting it gently. Kissing me, he whispered, "I know that you love Brian. I know it's hard for you to see him happy with someone else. That's perfectly understandable. But if you really want to help your best friend, if you love him as much as you profess, shouldn't you tell Justin what Brian can't yet bring himself to say? Brian did something very similar. He pushed you to embrace what you wanted, what made you happy, even though it meant losing you."

I pulled away and stomped my foot. Rubbing my head roughly, I growled, "Crap! You're right. Okay. Let's do it."

Ben smiled broadly and massaged my shoulders. "You are a true friend."

"Yeah, yeah…"

Justin's POV

Ethan had fallen asleep hours ago. Why was I still awake? I sighed deeply. Sitting in the window, looking up at the night sky, I thought back to this afternoon's surprising turn of events. Brian had actually punched Michael. I wondered if Brian was alright. He had been forcibly ejected from the party after that punch, every one berating him. But he loved Michael. Not so long ago, Brian was drowning in misery because he had pushed Michael away. What on earth had possessed him to punch him? I must have imagined it. I must have. But I could have sworn that before Brian laid Michael out, they had been fighting about me.


	2. What Are Best Friends For? Take Two

Michael's POV

Lindsay, Mel, Vic, Ma, Ted, Emmett, Ben, and I had gathered at Ma's house. I hadn't told anyone anything except that I had an urgent matter to discuss with them. Ma had graciously agreed to make snacks and was setting them out on the kitchen table, creating a buffet. Everyone was milling about, talking amongst themselves, wolfing down Swedish meatballs and clams casino, and tipping back glasses of wine. After 30 minutes had passed, Mel asked impatiently "So why are we here?"

I looked out the window. Not seeing Daphne or Jen, I sighed. "We're waiting on a couple more people. But… I guess we might as well start."

Everyone sat down eagerly, curious as to why they were here. I took a deep breath and began to speak.

Daphne's POV

I kept telling myself that I loved Justin and Brian and hated Ethan. The mantra calmed my nerves a bit and gave me the courage I needed to do this. I knocked on the door, hoping I wouldn't catch Justin and Ethan in an awkward position. Watching Justin smile at that pompous ass this afternoon was bad enough. I grew ill as thoughts of what else Justin might be doing to that ass flashed through my mind. I shook my head to banish the unpleasant image, as though it were simply a picture crudely drawn on an Etch-a-Sketch, and knocked again. Suddenly, Justin opened the door. "Daphne," Justin declared with a half-smile. He was clearly surprised by my visit. I hadn't exactly hidden my disapproval of Ethan.

I responded with genuine excitement. Justin was fully dressed, and Ethan was nowhere in sight. "Hi!" I said with a small wave. But just to be safe, I asked, "Is _he_ here?"

He answered with a laugh. "If you mean _Ethan_, no, he's still working. Want to come in?"

Looking over at the unmade bed, the sheets bunched up and the blanket strewn on the floor, I said, "Nah. I can only stay a minute."

"So, what's with the drop-in? I thought you vowed never to come here."

I smiled. "Can't a girl change her mind? I really just wanted to ask if you were free tonight."

Justin hesitated. "Well," he said, wrinkling his nose, "Ethan and I are still a new couple. I should probably stay home."

Crap. Time to turn on the waterworks. I closed my eyes and placed a hand on my head. Think sad thoughts. Sad. Sad. Sad. The look on Michael's face as he told me, in a hushed tone, about the lookalike hustler. The look of desolation I imagine Brian wore before and after the hustler's visit. That did it. I had been concentrating so hard that Justin's soft voice calling my name barely registered. But when he gently rubbed my back, I looked up, eyes full of genuine tears and whispered, "I just need a friend. My best friend."

Pulling me into his arms, he leaned his head sideways to rest it against mine and said, "Okay. Let's hang out."

Trying to suppress my joy, I smiled weakly. "Thanks. Can we meet at the diner? In an hour?"

Justin returned my smile. "Sure."

Okay, just one more task to complete, and the show would be on the road. I stopped halfway to the car to do a happy dance. Everything was going according to plan. By this time tomorrow, Brian and Justin might be happily reunited.

Jen's POV

I can't believe I agreed to do this. Ethan seemed nice, and, when Justin had told me about his new boyfriend, I was relieved. Don't get me wrong. I liked Brian, and I was grateful for everything he had done for Justin. More grateful than I could ever say. But the age difference still bothered me. Then came Daphne's visit.

"_Hi, Mrs. Taylor!"_

"_Hi. How have you been? It seems like ages since I've seen you."_

"_Oh pretty good. But I am a woman on a mission."_

_Laughing, I asked, "Mission?"_

"_Yes." She pronounced the word emphatically and paused. Squinting up at me, she bit her lower lip. She hesitated but then continued, "I need your help."_

_Very calmly, having no clue what she would ask, I said, "Sure. You know I'd help you with anything."_

_She laughed nervously. "You may want to hold off agreeing until I tell you what I need."_

What had finally persuaded me? Daphne's words still rung in my ears. _"Justin left Brian because he doesn't think Brian loves him."_ Another wave of guilt washed over me. I knew that that was NOT true. But I had never bothered to tell Justin about Brian's nightly visits to the hospital after the bashing. I don't even know why. Okay, maybe I do. Maybe I was hoping this would happen. That Justin would eventually leave Brian if he never perceived the depth of Brian's feelings. I knew how difficult it was for Brian to verbalize them. He had managed to say, "I care about him," after I had asked him to stop seeing Justin, but, flushed and uncomfortable, he had barely been able to look at me while saying it. It was only a matter of time. After hearing Daphne out, my mind had flashed back to Justin's behavior this morning. At the mention of Brian's name, he had looked down quickly and stated that he was with Ethan now. But he did not bow his head fast enough for me to miss the pain in his eyes. Remembering the hurt I saw, I winced. Obviously, Justin still loved Brian, and, after Daphne told me why Justin had left, I knew that keeping silent was selfish and wrong. Even cruel. So here I was. On Deb's doorstep, ready to help reunite Justin with the man I had tried so hard to wrest him from. The man I had been so sure would only hurt him. But he hadn't. Instead, he had brought Justin back to life, helped him be an artist again, and paid for his schooling when I couldn't and Craig wouldn't. I owed him this. Steeling myself, I knocked on the door.

Justin's POV

"_Prove it!"_ The words echoed in my mind, making me slightly ill. When I had told Ethan that I was meeting Daphne at the diner, he had accused me of lying.

"_You're just using her as an excuse to see Brian, aren't you?" he hissed._

"_No. She…"_

_Ethan cut me off. "Save it, Justin. I should have known that Brian's money came with strings!"_

"_What are you talking about?"_

"_Did you fuck him? Earlier, when you went to see him, what did you two do?"_

"_Just talked. I was only there a few minutes."_

"_Right."_

"_Why would I do that? I love you."_

"_Prove it!" Ethan unbuttoned his jeans and placed his hand on the back of my head. _

_Pulling his jeans down, I kneeled in front of him. As I began stroking his cock, I looked into his eyes. They were black. I shuddered. Was this love? _

Suddenly, Brian's words assaulted me: _"I hope you get what you want."_ I had been able to see the hurt in his eyes, but he had spoken them gently, sincerely. He had continued to look at me, his eyes tinged with something else. Longing? I remembered gritting my teeth to suppress the tears threatening to fall and holding onto that doorknob desperately, as it was the only thing keeping me upright. Fortunately, before I could sink deeper into my sad reverie, Daphne appeared. She dragged me to her car by the arm.

Laughing, I protested, "Daphne? What's going on? I thought we were going to talk at the diner."

She threw me an enigmatic smile and replied, "Change of plans."

A few minutes later, we were walking into Deb's house. Daphne wouldn't tell me why. She just kept saying, "Trust me." I did, of course. So I didn't start to worry until I looked around the living room. Everyone was there. Well, almost. Lindsay, Mel, Vic, Deb, Ted, Emmett, Ben, Michael, and, even, my mother. My anxiety mounting, I asked, "Daphne, what the fuck is going on?"

She flashed me a shit-eating grin and replied, "It's an intervention."


	3. An Intervention or And Then He Kissed Me

Emmet's POV

"An intervention? What the fuck for?" Justin asked incredulously.

Michael shook his head in Daphne's direction, apparently to prevent her from answering. He took a deep breath and said, "We think you should give Brian another chance."

Then there was silence or, should I say, a brief moment of calm before the storm.

"What? You have got to be fucking kidding me! Since day one, most of you have been telling me to leave Brian because he was bad for me, because I expected too much, because he could never love me…You in particular Michael!" Justin was furious.

Lindsay and Mel glanced at each other, guilt evident in their eyes, and Deb and Jen looked down.

Michael sighed. "I know." He stared at his feet for a minute but, then, met Justin's glare. "Look, I have recently come to realize that I have been biased and unfair when it comes to you and Brian."

Justin scoffed, "Tell me something I don't know" and looked away in annoyance.

Glancing quickly at Ben and Daphne, pain darkening his eyes, Michael continued, "The other night, I saw something disturbing that forced me to acknowledge how important you are to Brian, how important you have always been, and how much the break up or whatever is hurting him."

That got Justin's attention. He looked at Michael, the anger in his eyes replaced with concern, and asked urgently, "What do you mean? Is he okay?"

"Physically, yeah."

The implication was not lost on Justin. His eyes lost focus, and he unconsciously bit his thumbnail, thinking. Apparently, he was deciding whether to press for details because a couple minutes later, he did just that. In a soft voice, he asked, "What exactly did you see?"

Michael sighed, took Justin's arm, and pulled him into the hallway around the corner. I was dying to know what Michael was telling him; I think we all were, but no one moved. The silence was deafening. We just sat there expectantly. What could have upset Michael that much? What was so bad that he couldn't or wouldn't share it with anyone but Justin and, even then, with reservation?

When they returned, Justin looked like he was in shock. He followed Michael as though he were in a daze and then sat, or rather, fell, into a chair by the wall, staring into space.

Daphne rubbed Justin's back. I wonder if she knew the big secret.

When Michael broke the silence, Justin looked up, but slowly, as though he had just woken up from a deep sleep. "As Brian always says, 'Sorry is bullshit,' though I am sorry for the way I treated you in the past. But we need to move on from here. I want, no, I need to make it up to you in the only way I can…by saying and asking everyone else here to say what you should have been told long ago."

Confused, Justin looked around the room, meeting everyone's gazes, his eyes silently asking what it was he didn't know.

Justin's POV

"Me first!" Daphne clapped her hands and jumped, running for the VCR with a tape in her hand. Laughing a little, I shook my head. Only she could manage enthusiasm after a scene like that. She put the tape in the VCR and picked up the remote. She looked around the room and said to all in attendance, "There was a moment when I knew, without a doubt, that Brian had fallen in love with Justin." She smiled brightly. Then staring at me, she continued, "I did try to share this with you, Justin, but my description could never do it justice."

I shot her a baffled look.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, as though to keep her excitement in check, but she still ended up dancing happily as she spouted, "I found a tape Of. The. PROM!" She jumped as she squealed that last word, and, no, I am not exaggerating.

"What?" I asked, smiling broadly. That was one of the worst consequences of the bashing, that I had not been able to remember the dance Brian and I shared at the prom. I still couldn't believe he had come. I glanced over at my mom, afraid she'd freak out, but she returned my glance with a weak smile and a steady look. Apparently, Daphne had warned her.

"Yeah, Jennifer Gaskell's dad was chaperoning and had been taping parts of it for posterity. Well, he was taping her dance with Bobby Kilgore when you and Brian took the floor. He was so surprised by what he saw that he forgot to turn the camera off. He even got some footage of you and Brian talking before your dance, though you can't hear what's being said." She smiled. "Well, here we go." She pressed play.

Lindsay's POV: The Tape

Brian was standing in front of Justin, looking at him intently. There was a question, a plea, in his eyes. Justin met his gaze, a strange look on his face. He seemed happy, but surprised, serious, and maybe a little overwhelmed. Brian spoke to Daphne. He must have been flirting because she blushed. Then he seemed to be asking her something, maybe if he could dance with Justin. She didn't answer because, at this point, Brian could only see Justin. It was as though they were the only two people on the planet. She moved aside, and Brian took Justin by the arm, leading him further onto the dance floor.

Brian removed his silk scarf and placed it around Justin's neck as they began to dance. They seemed to be waltzing. Slow and serious at first, but then faster and more lightheartedly. God, they both looked so happy. Laughing and smiling. I'd never seen Brian look sexier. After a couple of minutes, they started to improvise fancier moves. Brian kept spinning Justin. They never once broke eye contact, and they were open with each other in a way that made it clear they were lovers. They touched noses and foreheads, and, then, Justin removed Brian's jacket. As he did, he stood very close to Brian, with a predatory look in his eyes and a flushed face. He walked past Brian as he pulled Brian's jacket off, almost kissing him…and Brian…he looked so…vulnerable. Brian obviously wanted Justin, but the look in his eyes was one of longing rather than simple animal lust.

Emmett, who had been trying to subdue his excitement with a hand to his mouth, finally burst out, "You go, baby!" Justin blushed.

Justin tossed Brian's jacket at Daphne and then placed the scarf around Brian's neck, leading him with it for a few moments. More spinning.

Vic exclaimed, "Wow! When did you two learn to dance like that? Were you secretly attending ballroom classes?"

Justin shook his head. "No. I learned some things at the country club, but that was a long time ago."

Ben smiled. "But your movements are so well coordinated. I guess you two just fit together naturally."

Emmett was about to make a comment, probably a sexual innuendo, but, looking over at Justin's mother, he thought better of it.

Brian dipped Justin and then held him in his arms (Justin's feet off the ground) and spun. The spin eventually became a kiss. I can't even describe it. It was slow and tentative at first, but Brian quickly deepened it, almost devouring Justin, again, with desire, but not Brian's normal animal lust.

Emmett, unable to control himself this time, exclaimed, "Ooo…that was one HOT kiss!"

Justin turned red and smiled, but his mother was kneading her hands uncomfortably.

After Brian and Justin exchanged a few bright smiles, Brian led Justin off the dance floor. Everyone (but Daphne), even Justin, seemed stunned. Both Justin and his mother had tears in their eyes.

The tape cut off abruptly, shattering the happy mood the dance had inspired. We all continued to stare at the television, watching the bright white threaded with thin, angry black lines and listening to the unpleasant sound of static. But of course, we were all thinking about what came next, what the tape did not show.

Thankfully, Daphne turned off the television and said, "Even a year later, that dance is still the most beautiful thing I have ever seen!"

I was so grateful that she redirected our thoughts. I looked around the room. Minds returning to the dance, most smiled. Jen swallowed audibly and then stood up.

"Mom? Are you okay?"

Jen's POV

Justin and Brian had looked beautiful together, but watching the dance just made me think of the bashing. My brain kept telling me that it wasn't Brian's fault, but my heart was less certain. Even now, part of me blamed him. But for Justin's sake, I needed to put that aside. I had done it before the night I asked Brian to take Justin. I could do it again.

Justin, sounding even more concerned, repeated his question, "Mom? Are you okay?"

"I will be, once I get this off my chest."

Closing my eyes, I steeled myself. God, I hoped he wouldn't hate me for keeping this from him. I took a deep breath and then looked directly at Justin. "Brian…Brian came to visit you every night when you were in the hospital."

I could hear a few gasps.

"I didn't know until you were about ready to be discharged. The night nurse told me that he would come and just watch you sleep for hours."

Justin looked like he'd been hit by a bus. His face paler than I have ever seen it, he asked in a small voice, "Brian visited me? Every night?" I could see tears welling up in his eyes.

I don't know if he was just trying to absorb what I had told him or if he was really asking, but I answered anyway. "Yes."

I couldn't keep my voice from shaking. My nervousness growing as I waited for Justin to respond, I played with my blouse. Lifting it up a tiny bit and then smoothing it out against my slacks.

Justin put his head down and began rubbing his forehead with his hands. After a few minutes, the silence nearly unbearable, Justin lifted up his head to face me, blinking back tears that were now falling, and asked quietly, "Why?"

I had kept something from my son that he would have wanted to know desperately, and all he did was ask why. That's all, just a barely audible why. I had never hated myself more than at this moment. "No reason would be good enough, but, at the time, I blamed Brian for the bashing, and I felt I was protecting you."

Justin's eyes lost focus again, as he nodded slowly and repeated, "Protecting me."

Several minutes passed. I was afraid to speak. Everyone else seemed stunned. I didn't know whether they were more shaken by Brian's secret devotion or my blaming him for the bashing. Maybe both.

Suddenly, Justin stood up. "Okay, the rest of you have 10 minutes total to tell me whatever else 'I need to know.' After that, if I don't get out of here, I am going to combust."

Deb looked around uncomfortably, rubbing her hands on her legs, probably to calm her nerves, but, then, she spoke. "The night you came to my house all wet from the rain, I went to see Brian. I told him that I didn't want you getting hurt more than you already had been. Then I accused him of being in love with you. Of course, he didn't tell me he was, but he didn't deny it. The look on his face…I knew then that he had fallen for you."

More gasps and then silence.

Then Lindsay spoke up. "Remember the GLC art show?"

"Yes." Justin's voice barely rose above a whisper.

"You wanted so much for Brian to see his picture framed and were so surprised that he actually came. I was, too. Well, later I found out that the person who had bought the picture…"

Justin interrupted her, his voice still soft, "Was Brian…"

"Yes."

He nodded slowly and cleared his throat, wiping away tears. "I suppose you were protecting me, too…"

"To be honest, I'm not sure if I was trying to protect you or…"

Mel, eyes black with rage, cut her off, "…or were just jealous that Brian actually seemed to care about Justin? He went to Justin's show, he bought Justin's drawing of him, as though it meant something to him…"

"Mel! Stop it!"

"I am SO tired of your obsession with him!"

Mel jumped up and headed for the door. She hesitated for a moment, turning back to look at Justin. She had a sympathetic expression on her face. "I don't know if this counts, but…the day after your birthday, Lindsay told Brian that he should have given you a more thoughtful present, like flowers. Later that night, I went to the newsstand to get Lindsay some art magazine she'd wanted to read. However, I never bought it because I saw Brian there. Holding roses. He seemed to be debating whether to buy them. In the end, he didn't, but he seemed upset. I was so shocked that I just went home. I guess you need to add me to the jerk list. I'm sorry." Then she left. Lindsay quickly followed.

Justin just sat there, kneading his head and sniffling a little.

After yet another shocked silence, Michael said, "When we were all planning protests and marches to hold the judge from Chris Hobbs's trial accountable, Brian made a kind of crazy glue that he had accidentally discovered in high school and glued the judge to the toilet he used every day. He was so angry that the judge interrupted the trial to take a dump."

Justin smiled at that. "That's so Brian…"

"Yeah." Michael laughed, but then continued, more seriously, "Also…the reason he punched me at Lindsay and Mel's party was because…well…I said something horrible about you. I am too ashamed to even repeat it."

Justin sighed and asked, "Is that all? Or does someone have something else to tell me?"

Ted looked around, and, when no one else spoke up, he said, "I guess I have something to add."

Everyone looked surprised.

"Remember when Brian was supposed to take you snowboarding?"

Justin sighed. "Yes."

"Well…when he got back from Chicago, he immediately came to Babylon looking for you."

Emmett interjected, "Oh yeah…He said he had some good news to share, but, when we told him you weren't with us, he just left. He didn't tell us what the news was, and he looked disappointed."

"Yeah," Ted continued, "The news was that he had made partner."

Justin's POV

When I left Deb's, I could barely think. Everything that had been said was floating around in my head. I couldn't stop crying. But as I walked down the steps, my mind suddenly cleared. I only had one thought, and it soon became an urgent need. _Brian_. The tears stopped flowing, and I started to run. An hour later, I was sitting next to Brian's elevator, holding a video tape in my hand.

I jumped up when I heard the elevator start to move. When it stopped, Brian and a tall brunet stepped out. Brian had a blank look on his face. He barely acknowledged the trick's existence. Then he saw me. He looked shocked. He just stared at me. I was expecting him to brush me off, but, to my surprise, he turned to the trick, pushed him back onto the elevator, and growled, "Get lost." Then he opened the loft door and walked in. A few seconds later, he turned back and asked impatiently, "You coming?"

I followed him inside. He turned around and started staring again, his expression unreadable. Then he asked, "Why aren't you with the fiddler?"

I was so nervous. In the hour I had been waiting, I hadn't figured out what to say or do. All I knew was that I needed to see Brian. "He no longer matters. I…"

Faced with the man I had loved and desired for two years, the man I still loved and desired, I couldn't help but start crying again. I looked down, cleared my throat, and willed the tears away, but, as I continued, they were still evident in my voice, "I…realized that I don't love him. That I never did. I don't expect anything, but I needed to tell you that I…I love you."

Brian looked down for a moment. When he raised his head, his eyes glistened, but he said nothing.

"I don't want to talk about the past or the future right now. I just…just…really need you to kiss me." My voice broke on the last few words. I prayed that he wouldn't tell me to leave.

Two heartbeats later, Brian grabbed me. Then more slowly, more tenderly, he touched his forehead to mine and inhaled deeply, as though he were breathing me in. He looked into my eyes with such intensity that my breath caught in my throat. He nudged my nose gently...and then he kissed me.


	4. My Brian

Justin's POV

Brian kissed me lightly on the lips but then tilted my head and thrust his tongue deep into my mouth. He pulled me against him roughly with one hand, leaving his other on the back of my neck. I threw my arms around him, my hands in his hair, and I pulled his head down. Every millimeter of space between us hurt. I rubbed my body against his, the contact setting me on fire. I needed to feel his skin against mine, I needed to kiss and touch him everywhere, I needed him inside me, filling me...I just needed...

I pulled back a little, moaning his name and removing his leather jacket. But as soon as it hit the floor, Brian sent his lips crashing back down onto mine. I slipped my hands underneath his black wife beater and slowly inched my hands upward, feeling every muscle. Desperate for direct contact, I started pulling his shirt off, but apparently, not quickly enough for Brian. He ripped his shirt and mine off in seconds. I broke the kiss and began nuzzling his neck as I rubbed my chest against his. Then I started sliding downward, our skin not losing contact until I was on my knees. I unbuttoned his jeans and started to remove them. Again, too slow. Brian pulled them down in one motion and sent them careening across the floor.

I caressed his legs and then starting laying feather kisses on his thighs as my head moved upward. Brian trembled slightly, reached one arm out to steady himself on the nearest vertical beam, and moved the other down to my head, threading his fingers into my hair. I licked the head of his cock and then drew it into my mouth, sucking gently, as I softly caressed his balls. Then I gripped them firmly with both hands and took his cock deeper into my mouth, licking the underside as I pulled back. In response, Brian gripped my hair more tightly and moaned, "Justin." My cock had already hardened, making my jeans almost unbearably tight, but hearing him call out my name that way nearly pushed me over the edge. I took him deep...the head of his cock in my throat and swallowed. He groaned and placed his other hand in my hair.

Brian started fucking my mouth. I relaxed my throat and swallowed every time his cock was completely buried inside me. Suddenly, he stopped moving. He cupped my face and gently tilted it upward, as he looked down at me. When our eyes met, he breathed, "Justin" and gazed at me, his half-lidded eyes dark with such intense desire that I nearly came. He started fucking my mouth again, and, a few seconds later, he half-shouted, half-growled, "Fuck!" and came, pouring into my mouth. I continued to suck his cock until the aftershocks subsided.

Brian pulled me to a standing position, cupped my face, and kissed me, thrusting his tongue deep into my mouth. He lifted me up, I wrapped my legs around him, and he carried me to the bed, our mouths never breaking contact. Once there, he set me down. I lay on the bed and pulled him down on top of me. I kissed him hard and then whispered into his ear, "Fuck me." In response, he unbuttoned my jeans and yanked them off. He growled, "Turn over." I flipped onto my stomach. He leaned over me, nuzzled my neck, and inhaled deeply. Then he slowly ran his hand down my back. He raised me up onto my knees and licked my back, from my neck down to my ass. He licked around my opening, and I let out a deep moan. That seemed to inspire him, as he continued to do so, but with more urgency and then pushed his tongue inside me. I arched my back and cried out, "Brian, I need you inside me NOW!" He replaced his tongue with one finger and then added a second and a third. I pushed back onto them and groaned as they grazed my prostate.

Suddenly, Brian flipped me over onto my back, placing my legs on his shoulders. He took a condom from the nightstand drawer and ripped it open with his teeth, but I grabbed it and slid it onto his cock. As I did, he moaned. Both of us too impatient for lube, Brian moved my legs higher onto his shoulders and entered me slowly, inch by inch. When his cock was completely buried inside me, he started moving it in and out faster, pumping me with a steady rhythm. Then he angled his hips so that he was thrusting shallowly inside me, hitting my prostate on every thrust. I moaned low in my throat and covered my face with my arms. He growled, "Don't hide" and grabbed my wrists, shoving them down on the bed beside me. Then he leaned down and kissed me roughly. The rhythm of his thrusts quickened, and he took my cock, throbbing and leaking, into his hand. He ran a finger over my slit as he squeezed my shaft, eliciting a low whimper from me, and then started stroking me in time with his thrusts. I threaded my fingers into his hair and brought his lips crashing down onto mine, kissing him hard. Then I broke away and moaned, "Fuck, oh fuck, Brian!" Faster and faster, he thrust inside me and stroked my cock until I exploded, my vision disappearing in a flash of white light.

Brian collapsed onto me with a deep animal moan, his breath ragged. He stayed there for a few moments, catching his breath. Then he drew up a little, his head still resting on my chest but looking up at me. He smoothed my hair back and gently stroked my cheeks, sadness clearly written in his eyes.

He said, "I missed you."

It took everything I had not to cry. "I missed you, too, Brian."

He pulled out, tossed the condom into the trash bin beside the nightstand, and crawled next to me. Then he kissed my neck gently, gathered me into his arms, and fell asleep.

I stayed awake for a long time listening to Brian breathe. We had not been apart long, but it felt like forever. Even before I left, I'd felt a widening distance between us. His kissing me, calling out my name, filling me up, and telling me he missed me had closed some of that distance, but I still felt so empty. I rolled over and buried my face in his chest. Unconsciously, Brian's arms tightened around me. I had no idea what tomorrow would bring. Would he push me further away? I had killed his pride when I left the Rage party with Ethan. I had no idea how to fix what I had broken. Taking a deep breath, I made a silent promise to myself. Whatever happened, however much Brian tried to push me away, I would keep holding on to him, to us. If he lashed out, I would simply remember everything I'd been told that night. Whether or not he could say it or even show it sometimes, I knew he loved me. He was my Brian. The Brian who had bought my first drawing of him, cherishing it, who had danced with me at my prom, who had watched me sleep every night for a month while I was in the hospital, who had publicly humiliated the judge that let Chris Hobbs walk, and who had even considered giving me roses for my birthday, what Lindsay had said I needed. He was my Brian, and he loved me.


	5. The Best Laid Plans

Justin's POV

When I awoke, the sun shining bright, I sat up and looked around. Brian was nowhere to be found. I padded into the bathroom, hoping, but not expecting, that Brian would be there.

"I guess the ball is still in my court," I said aloud.

Out of curiosity, I opened the drawer Brian had cleared for me. Still empty. There was definitely hope.

I took a shower, dressed, and made coffee. Then I grabbed a notepad and pen off of Brian's desk and sat down. I needed a plan.

There was so much to do. The day would be difficult enough without having to work and go to school, so I called Deb to ask for the day off and decided to skip class. I only had one today. Tomorrow, I'd copy a classmate's notes. I thought about cooking dinner, but, as great as my desire was to do something sweet for Brian, I realized that that would be a little too domestic for my first day back. No need to freak Brian out more than was necessary. Should I dress my sexiest and go to Babylon? That might prevent Brian from bringing a trick home, but having it out in public would probably lead to more ugliness than otherwise. No, better to face Brian in private. I'd still dress my sexiest though.

To-Do List

Tell Ethan I'm leaving

Get my things from Ethan's apartment

Go to school

Go to work

Move back into the loft

Go grocery shopping

Cook Brian dinner (something that can be reheated)

Babylon

Dig my heels in and wait Brian out

Brian's POV

I sat at my desk, my leg up on the chair, thinking as I drummed a pencil on my knee. I had missed Justin so badly and had wanted him to come home so much that I had let my guard down the night before. Home? Christ, when did I become a lesbian? So after the best sex I had had in weeks, I had told Justin that I missed him. Shit, I had nearly told him that I loved him. I needed to get myself under control. I thought it was safer to avoid Justin in the morning. No telling what I would do otherwise. Just watching the beautiful blond sleep, not stroking Justin's cheek and not waking him with a blow job had taken all of my willpower. I hated how happy Justin's presence in my bed made me. Brian-Fucking-Kinney was NOT supposed to need people. I would have to do something drastic.

Justin's POV

Ethan wasn't at the apartment when I arrived. I wasn't sure whether or not I was happy about that. Part of me was relieved that I wouldn't be forced to pack while he watched, but I felt bad for just disappearing on him. He'd probably freak when I told him that I was going back to Brian, but he deserved to know. I felt terrible that I had used Ethan, even though I hadn't done it on purpose. I wished that I had known what I know now on my birthday. Then I would never have met Ethan. I would simply have gone home after the concert. I wouldn't have hurt Brian, and I wouldn't need to hurt Ethan now. I was about to leave when Ethan walked in.

Seeing me, but not the bag in my hand, Ethan shouted, "Where the hell have you been? Do you know how worried I was?"

I took a deep breath and replied, "I'm sorry I didn't call. Some things happened while I was with Daphne, and I ended up going to Brian's after all. Last night, I realized that this...(I gestured between us) was a mistake. I'm still in love with Brian."

Ethan's eyes widened.

I continued, "I'm so sorry."

Then I waited for the situation to become truly unpleasant.

"WHAT??!! I knew it!" Ethan kicked a chair, sending it flying into the kitchen, well, what passed for a kitchen. He continued, "You realized that this was a mistake. Don't you realize that sleeping with someone for money makes you a whore? I thought you wanted something more. Love. Romance."

I didn't want to hurt Ethan any more than I already had or to draw this out, so I answered simply, "Brian loves me" and tried to walk past him.

In a mocking tone, he declared, "Brian does NOT love you. He fucks you. You and everyone else on Liberty Avenue. You are just a toy to him. A convenient lay when he doesn't see anyone better at the clubs. Don't get me wrong, he's hot. Probably great in bed. But one day, he's going to get tired of you. Then he'll find a new boy toy, toss you out, and never look back. Is that what you want?"

His words stung, but I bit back my sharp retort ("Well, there is one person I know he'd never fuck, and Brian's an amazing lover") and suppressed the urge to slap him. He was hurt, angry, and jealous. Could I blame him?

"He doesn't see me as a toy. I understand why you'd think so, but you don't know Brian like I do. I told you about him, but that was only part of the story." I paused, looking around uncomfortably, and then continued, "Well, I better go."

Ethan grabbed my arm as I walked by him. In a pleading voice, he said, "Wait! Justin, I love you. I want only you. Don't go! He'll never treat you the way you deserve to be treated. But I will."

I frowned. "Ethan, you're a great guy, and you'll make someone very happy, but that someone isn't me. I did want declarations of love and romantic gestures, but…only from Brian. They don't mean anything when they come from someone you don't love. Sure, Brian doesn't say that he loves me, and he isn't romantic in the conventional sense, but I know that he loves, desires, and cherishes me. I don't want or need anything else."

With that, I walked out the door. As I started down the steps, I heard Ethan yell, "You'll be back. Brian will only hurt you."

Yes…Brian would hurt me (and whether I wanted to or not, I'd hurt him, too; I have hurt him), but that wouldn't make me leave him again. Some of the most beautiful art is born out of pain…only twats think that love should be saccharine sweet and simple. I should know. I used to be one.

***********************************

I decided to wear a tight red T-shirt and the black jeans that really show off my ass. Once I was dressed, I settled in to wait for Brian to return. I popped the tape of the prom into the VCR and sat at Brian's new table with my sketch pad. I wanted to sketch a few pictures, definitely one of my taking off Brian's jacket. The desire in his eyes at that moment…desire for me…made my heart skip a beat every time I saw it. A couple hours later, after I had sketched several pictures, I heard the loft door open. I turned the TV and VCR off and looked up. Brian came in with a trick in tow. He seemed surprised that I was there. But not angry. That's a good sign. I leaned back on my arms and said, "Hi" in my sexiest drawl.

Brian directed the trick to the bedroom and walked toward me. "What are you doing here?"

I smiled. "Uh, I live here…"

"Who says?"

"You."

He raised an eyebrow.

"You told me that I needed to decide where I wanted to be. I did."

He just stared at me.

In a playful voice, I said, "So…don't let me interrupt. I have a project to work on."

That really surprised him.

Brian's POV

My eyes widened in shock. What game was he playing? It almost felt like date night. I walked to the bedroom with a smile, tossing my coat on the floor as I entered. I stopped by the bathroom and turned around, so Justin could see me. He was now on the couch with his sketch pad on his lap and a charcoal pencil in his hand. But he was watching me. The trick approached, trying to kiss me. I turned my face away and pushed his head down. He got the idea. He kneeled, unbuttoned my jeans, and pulled them down. Justin drew his tongue across his bottom lip when the trick started sucking my cock. Justin stared at me for a couple of minutes, his eyes darkening with desire, all the while nibbling and gently sucking his pencil. I licked my lips. I really wanted to be that pencil. Justin smiled and then started drawing. A few minutes later, he tossed his sketch pad and pencil on the table and stood up. He took off his shirt and let it drop. The shirt knocked the pencil off the table, sending it skittering across the floor. Justin bent over to pick it up, giving me a great view of his tight little ass. God, could those jeans be any tighter? I threaded my fingers in the trick's hair and started fucking his mouth. Once the wayward pencil had been secured, Justin headed toward the bedroom, unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans as he walked. When he reached the bed, he pushed down his jeans and wriggled out of them. He stood there a moment, raising an eyebrow as I openly stared at his hard, dripping cock. The sight of him sent me over the edge. I started moaning as he walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower. Suddenly, I felt dirty.

"Thanks for the blow job," I said as I ushered the trick out and locked the door.

Yes, I felt dirty. Filthy even.

***********************************

Justin's POV

That's how I wish it happened. The truth is, Brian was not amused by my presence at the loft that night. He didn't even ask what I was doing there. He just tossed my coat at me and grabbed my arm, pushing me out the door. Then as I sat by the elevator, he fucked that trick. Later, as that one left, another arrived. Same deal a half hour after that. It was Grand Fucking Central. When tricks number six and seven appeared, I lost patience. Apparently, he was doing them two at a time now. One of the tricks knocked, and Brian slid the door open. I stood up, pushed them out of the way, and walked in.

"I thought I told you to get lost."

Annoyed, I snapped, "When has that ever worked?"

Brian just stared at me.

"I know I screwed up. But last night…"

"You think that meant something to me? You're a great fuck. You always have been." Grinning cruelly, he continued, "Always so eager to please. In fact, out of all my tricks, I think you give the best head. I wasn't about to send you away, but that doesn't mean I want you hanging around. Why don't you go back to the fiddler?"

I knew that what he was saying was bullshit, well, except the part about me giving great head, but it still hurt to hear. So much that I couldn't prevent tears from filling my eyes. I pictured us at the prom and Brian at the hospital as I fought the urge to kick him in the nuts.

"I broke up with him. I told him that I love yous and romantic gestures only mean something when they come from the person you love and that, for me, that isn't him. That it never was."

Brian looked down. When he looked back up, his eyes had less steel in them.

"You can parade a million tricks through here, but it won't change a thing. I will still love and want only you."

That seemed to shock him.

I folded my arms and glared at him indignantly. "I'm not going anywhere. You want me to leave, you'll have to call the cops."

Brian sighed. "Fine, but you get the couch."


	6. Now and Then

Justin's POV

Lying alone in the dark, I remembered the last time I was exiled to the couch. My father had just attacked Brian face to face. I am not sure why Brian needed space after that. Perhaps it was the domestic (my family issues) intruding on our sexual bliss. The emotional certainly didn't help…

"_You're not crying are you?"_

"_I'm not some little faggot!"_

"_No you're not. You're pretty brave actually. Standing up to your father like that."_

"_He was hurting you."_

"_Get some sleep."_

Why was it so hard for Brian to accept that I would have done anything to protect or help the man I loved? As it turns out, he always did the same for me. I guess Brian had always known how love should work. So why the double standard? Is it that he just didn't believe he deserves it? Is it that he didn't want to expect it? Didn't want to need others' love because he believed it can't last?

In any case, I didn't allow him to push me away then…why was I allowing it now? Screw that. I got up off the couch and quietly approached the bed. I wondered if Brian was already asleep. He was lying on his right side facing the bathroom. When I pulled back the duvet and climbed in, Brian rolled over and looked at me, much like he had done almost two years ago. He didn't say a word or move to stop me. He just gave me his patented blank stare and rolled back to his former position.

Much later, I felt Brian move. I had been lying in bed, wide awake, listening to Brian breathe, wishing he would hold me. I could feel him inching closer, so I shut my eyes, pretending to be asleep. Brian ran his fingers lightly through my hair. He moved his hand away for a few moments, just lying next to me, watching me. He must have been debating whether to roll back over or hold me because a few moments later, he pulled me close, and, a few minutes after that, he fell asleep. I guess fortune really does favor the bold.


	7. My Justin

Brian's POV

Mine. I awakened with a face full of silky blond hair, and all I could think was mine. Few know just how possessive I am. I have always walked a fine line between possession and belonging. I have always been able to get people to belong to me without actually taking possession, without claiming them. Without doing or giving anything substantial. Without letting them all the way in. Course, that was before Justin. Lindsay and Michael just belonged to me. I didn't need to tell them I loved them, to offer them what they wanted physically or emotionally. They were and are just mine. Part of their hearts will always belong to me. The parts that are most private. Melanie knows this and hates me for it. David, same deal. Ben's different. He knows, but doesn't blame me. Doesn't blame Mikey. He just takes the rest of Mikey's heart. That's enough for him. Mikey and Lindsay belong to me, but I don't belong to them. I know them, but they will never really know me. I will always be able to hide. Take as much as I want and leave.

With Justin it's different. I have done everything to make him mine without actually taking possession of him. Getting him to offer himself up without doing the same. But even when I don't do anything, he owns my heart. And not just a part. All of it. Much as I try to fight it, I want, no need, to take possession. To truly make him mine.

Mine. That word has resounded in my head and pulsed through my bloodstream for so long that I can't even remember when it started. The first time I knew, really knew, was at the King of Babylon contest. I wanted to prove to Justin, to myself, to the world, that he didn't own my heart. But it backfired. And how. I thought I could play with him without getting hurt. I thought I had an out. All I needed to do was say, "Come home with me," and he would. Or so I thought. When he left with that twink, I…hurt. A lot. When I saw them fucking, I couldn't hear anything but the word mine thrumming through my body, every part. Every cell was screaming it. I was trembling. I could barely see. It took everything in me to walk away. The pain was indescribable. Until then, as far as I knew, I was the only person Justin had been with, well, fucked…seeing him touching, kissing, fucking someone else…his slight arms circled around someone else's torso…his beautiful pink lips kissing someone else's neck…his tight little ass bobbing as he buried his cock inside someone else's body…his eyes closed in rapture I had not brought him…made me crazy. Fucking insane with jealousy.

Yes, I am a hypocrite. So sue me.

I had to do something drastic. I needed to break the connection. Threatened with total annihilation, I was desperate to take back my heart. To take back control. So when that adman from New York offered me a job, I jumped on it. I was ready to abandon everything, my entire life, just so I could get free of Justin's hold on me. But when Justin told me that I couldn't live without him, I knew he was right. As I held him crying in my arms, I knew I was already lost. But I couldn't stop fighting. If that job had not fallen through, I would have left. And then missed Justin like crazy. Become a shell of a person, what I was after he left with Ethan until just 2 days ago. I didn't like feeling helpless…I hated needing…wanting…I was tired of being hurt, disappointed, and abandoned…I thought I had left all that behind when I escaped my insane family. I was wrong. So wrong. In the end, I did something I had never done before. The night of Justin's prom, I took possession. I approached him…drew him back…strengthened the connection, the intimacy I had tried so hard to ignore and then destroy. I pulled at his lapel and looked deep into his eyes, while declaring shyly that I came to "recapture my lost youth."

Mine reverberated throughout my body again when I saw Justin kissing that twink at Babylon after he asked me why he was living at the loft. I knew then that I would do nearly anything to get him back. To pull him back in. I proposed rules because I was adept at the art of the deal, but I would have folded. Thankfully, I didn't need to. I agreed that Justin could fuck other people, but I never believed he would do so on his own. I thought I could take some measure of control back and still have all of him. And for the most part, that was true. In general, he only fucked someone else when we were together. At those times, it wasn't Justin fucking someone. It was us fucking someone. Together. The other person was a prop, like a dildo.

Unfortunately, I was wrong again. I was always underestimating Justin's power over my heart. His ability to wreck me. He broke the rules a couple of times, and it killed me. I burned inside, though I never said a word. The pain made me push him away harder next time. I was still trying to possess him without claiming him as my own. Even when I knew I had probably lost him, I was still trying to get what I wanted while giving as little of myself, well, openly, as possible. It backfired again. And how. I watched in horror as that penniless fiddler took what was mine. Because I hate feeling helpless…afraid….I hate being so connected to someone that that person knew me better than I knew myself. Justin always saw inside of me when no one else could. Lindsay, Mikey, Deb, everyone except Justin, believed I'd never want to be a father…that I could never really fall in love…that I could never change…that I didn't still want my parents' love and approval. Everyone was wrong. Except Justin. I hated not being able to hide. I hated needing someone near me to breathe. So I let him leave me. And I felt hurt, betrayed, and abandoned. When I fought with Mikey about Justin, I was fighting myself. The twat part of me that kept bellowing mine. Over and over. The part of me that wanted to take possession of what belonged to me. To bring Justin home.

Even when Justin came back, when he told me he loved me, when he stayed, I struggled to hide, push him away, get back my heart, remove him from my bed, my home, my life. But holding him now, I had so little strength left. All I wanted to do was GIVE. IN.

FUCK. All I wanted to do was make Justin mine. Really make him mine. Tie him to me with a label, keep him with me always.

I've lost. The worst possible thing has happened. Justin owns me completely. He's in.


	8. Wanna Go Steady?

Justin's POV

I woke up and looked around. Gone again. I sighed heavily and slowly felt the bed beside me. Where Brian had slept as he held me. What was this? A note?

Sunshine—

Come to Babylon at 11PM. I left you something to wear. In the living room.

You won't regret it.

Brian

I nearly broke my head open jumping out of the bed and leaping the stairs to see what he'd left for me. I smiled, looking like a naughty Risky Business, sliding across the floor naked, my morning hard-on bouncing. It was a tuxedo with a bright red silk scarf and a red rose on the lapel. On it, Brian had pinned another note.

Let's exorcise some demons—B

I was half-afraid, half-excited, goosebumps covering my body. Had he seen my sketches? Or the video tape? …Both my sketchpad and the prom tape were gone.

Many intolerably long hours later, Daphne arrived to fetch me. Apparently this was a Brian-Daphne production. I'm not sure whether her involvement made me feel less nervous or more. Daphne was wearing the same dress she had worn to the prom.

Wide smile. Excitement dancing in my best friend's eyes, she asked, "You ready?"

Smiling brightly, but slightly flushed, I answered slowly, "I wish I knew."

*********************************************

Walking into Babylon, I barely recognized it. Tables and chairs covered much of the main dance floor, twinkly white lights were draped over tall green plants and along the walls, balloons floated and bounced all along the floor, and a balloon arch had even been placed in the back of the room, near the center. Music you'd never expect to hear in Babylon was playing, and all present were dressed in tuxedos and formal gowns. Everyone was there…in addition to many Babylon regulars, I saw Vic, Debbie, my mom, Michael, Ben, Emmett, Ted, Lindsay, and Mel.

Daphne took me to the dance floor, and, after a few minutes of plaintive cries only Daphne could make, we started dancing. That seemed to be a cue because most of the regulars and the gang started dancing, too. The lights flashed on and off once, and, suddenly, the prom video was being projected onto two of the walls. Looking up, I noticed something I had missed before. The catwalk was covered in stills from the tape. Stills of all the sketches I had made. Oh. God. My eyes started filling with happy, astonished tears, but, then, Brian walked in. Daphne nudged me and pointed, just as she had on the tape. Brian looked so beautiful. Absolutely gorgeous. He, too, wore a red rose and a tuxedo. When his eyes met mine, he smiled shyly and bowed his head slightly, his hazel eyes dancing, twinkling…green and brown flecks glinting in the soft white glow enveloping the room. My heart stopped…my breathing stopped…even time seemed to stop. I stood there, much as I seemed to do the first time, nervous, touched, mouth half-open in surprise.

Brian seemed to glide, no float, across the dance floor. I was so transfixed, mesmerized, that I jumped a little when he reached my side.

He stood in front of me looking deep into my eyes. Fingering my lapel, he looked over at Daphne. Throwing an arm around her and kissing her cheek, he said, "Daphne, you look HOT. I'd fuck you."

Blush. "Thanks Brian. You, too."

"Can I borrow your date?" Nervous, God, he was nervous, Brian licked his lips, a question in his eyes. He waited a long, deliciously painful moment and then pulled me onto the dance floor.

Leaning into me, he whispered, "Why don't you start this one?" He looked at me, nodding toward my scarf.

"Save the Last Dance For Me" started to play. Nervous, touched, happy, relieved, sorry, and excited, longing to feel Brian against me, inside me, every inch of my body craving his touch, his kiss, I placed the red silk scarf around his neck gently and started moving to the music, drawing him with me.

We waltzed. Slow and serious at first, but then faster and more lightheartedly. We laughed and smiled. Brian kept spinning me. We never once broke eye contact, and we even grinded against each other at one point. Touching noses and foreheads, we danced.

Then Brian leaned in and breathed against my neck, his voice husky, "You can't skip the best part, Sunshine. The part where you drive me insane with desire for you. Slowly stripping off my jacket…teasing me."

I think my heart actually stopped.

As bidden, I removed Brian's jacket. Slowly. I stood very close to him, so close that I thought I could hear his heart beating. Gazing at him with undisguised want, I flushed. I walked past Brian peeling his jacket off, almost kissing him, feeling the electricity such close proximity always brought ripple through my body. God, his eyes. I saw there a want so deep that it seemed he wished to possess me…it scared me even as it thrilled me.

Emmett, who had been trying to subdue his excitement with a hand to his mouth, finally burst out, "You go, baby!" I blushed.

I tossed Brian's jacket at Daphne, and, then, Brian placed the scarf around my neck, leading me with it for a few moments. More spinning.

Brian dipped me, and I let my head fall downward, until I was nearly upside down. Then he held me in his arms (my feet off the ground) and spun. The spin eventually became a kiss. I am not sure I could even describe it. It was slow and tentative at first, but Brian quickly deepened it, almost devouring me, every part of him touching part of me. OH. MY. FUCKING. GOD. Was the kiss this incredible the first time? Despite my mother's presence, Debbie's presence, it took everything in me to keep from dropping to my knees and sucking him off or pushing him to the dance floor, straddling him, and impaling myself on his cock.

Emmett, unable to control himself, exclaimed, "Ooo…that was one HOT kiss!"

I turned red and smiled so brightly that I think I blinded a few people.

The music suddenly stopped. Brian held my hand, his fingers threaded through mine as he pulled me to the center of the dance floor. He looked over at Michael, and Michael nodded, walking toward us carrying something. Brian smiled shyly and took it from him. A letterman's jacket. What the hell? He draped it around my shoulders and asked loudly enough for all to hear, "Wanna go steady?"

The laugh died on my lips when I looked into his eyes. He was fucking serious. Oh. My. God. I couldn't speak. Gazing into his eyes like a lovestruck teenager, which I guess I was, I just nodded. Daphne and Emmett were losing it. Happy noises rolled out of them alternately as though they were competing for the best excited giggle award.

Michael smiled wide and said, "Tell him what it's for." Then he started giggling, too.

"Brian?" I asked.

Brian looked down, trying to hide his grin. "Running, track."

Everyone of the gang burst out laughing then.

Brian stood behind me, draping one arm over my chest and the other around my waist. He said loud enough for all to hear, "I don't do monogamy, but, apparently, I do boyfriends. Well, boyfriend."

The room gasped. Did he say boyfriend?

He nibbled on my ear for a moment, and, then, he swung me around to face him. He continued, "Fuck anyone you want, once, but no kissing, no numbers, no names. And always save the last dance for me." He grabbed my ass, pulling me to him roughly and grinding against me as he said the word dance.

"I want to come home to you every night" and then a shade lower "Sunshine…and fuck your brains out."

There were hoots and hollers, Debbie's being the loudest, and one very red face (my mom).

I smiled and leaned into him touching my forehead to his. Then I probably did the stupidest thing I could do…but there was no way I could stop myself. I whispered, my voice breaking a little, "Brian, I meant what I said. I love and want only you. Outside of date night, I don't see myself tricking."

I needed Brian to know he was special, that he was the one. It may not have been enough, I don't know, but I hoped it would destroy Ethan's specter, which had been haunting Brian's eyes since I saw Ethan and Brian at the restaurant together.

Brian's eyes glistened, and he pulled me into his warm embrace, nuzzling my neck and breathing, "Mine."

Brian's POV

Oh yeah, Justin was mine. Finally. Try as I might, I couldn't get that ridiculous grin off my face. I knew then that I was doomed.


	9. A Little Celebration

**The Back Room**

Justin's POV

I was so overwhelmed by Brian's public gesture that it was difficult to focus. In fact, I felt quite giddy. He had just put his heart on display for all of Babylon and our friends and family to see. I shuddered to think of all the good-natured ribbing and scathing mockery Brian would face, having staged a re-enactment of my prom and then asked me to go steady, after giving me his letterman's jacket. God, he had even held my hand. He hadn't done that in public since my first forays out into the world after the bashing, while I struggled to get comfortable in my own skin again. The dance alone had filled me with such love that I was desperate to reciprocate. With Brian, a lover, or should I say, a boyfriend (sigh), had few options. I would need to put my body on display for all (or most) to see. Not that I minded. After my debut in the baths, I was always eager to suck him off or be fucked by him in public, and, even before then, I had always enjoyed kissing, licking, touching, and grinding (against) him on the dance floor and wherever else he would allow it. So after enjoying Brian's nuzzling for a few minutes, I grabbed his hand and dragged him into the backroom.

Brian's POV

My smug reverie was abruptly shattered when Justin took off running, pulling me behind him toward the back room. Once there, he pushed me against a wall roughly, capturing my mouth in a remarkably savage kiss, while also unbuckling, unbuttoning, and unzipping to free my cock as quickly as was humanly possible. He slid a hand behind my neck, sending shivers down my spine and drawing my face closer to his, as his tongue explored every inch of my mouth. He began caressing my cock, with light ghost touches, rendering it painfully erect in just a couple of seconds. Then he broke our kiss, flashed me a naughty smile, and dropped to his knees while licking his lips. Christ, he was hot.

Justin licked the head of my cock, enveloping it entirely with the flat part of his tongue. So hot and wet. Unconsciously, I licked my lips. Then he traced my slit with the tip. Precum bubbled out. He lapped it up and continued to tongue my slit, thrusting the tip as deep inside as possible. I bit back a moan and threaded my fingers into his hair. Giving the head a final swipe with his tongue, he moved onto the shaft, licking and sucking it sideways up and down the length, as though it were a melting Creamsicle. Then without warning, he gulped my cock down his throat, eliciting a shudder. My entire body prickled with electricity as he sucked and swallowed.

Aching for release, I bit my bottom lip until I tasted blood to stifle a moan. Justin squeezed my balls and then covered them with light touches. He pulled away for a moment, and I groaned in complaint, but, when he started slowly licking one of his fingers, I groaned in pleasure. A moment later, he deep throated my cock once more as he rubbed his wet finger around my entrance. I didn't think I could hold on much longer. Then he slid the tip of his finger inside me, and it was over. My balls tightened, and, carried on waves of heat and electricity, I threw back my head, moaning his name loudly. My body jerked, and Justin swallowed greedily, intensifying my orgasm. Once the aftershocks subsided, he stood up and kissed me tenderly. He pulled away and grinned like a Cheshire cat, while I barely managed a weak smile. I zipped up, and, as we turned to leave, we were met with applause. Apparently, the tricks in the back room had stopped their sucking and fucking to watch Justin get me off, probably after I had called out his name. Justin blushed deeply, and it was my turn to grin, as I threaded my fingers through his and led him out.

**The Stage**

Justin's POV

Brian and I walked up to the bar. I flagged down the bartender, intending to order a beer, when Brian stopped me. "Only water tonight."

My eyes brightened. I was suddenly glad that Daphne had had to go home. She took WAY too much pleasure watching Brian and I flirting, kissing, etcetera. The original B/J fangirl.

Brian gave me a sexy smile and instructed me, "Open your mouth and close your eyes, and you'll get a nice surprise…"

I eagerly did as he asked. He placed a tablet on my tongue, draped an arm around me, and drew me into a toe-curling kiss.

Deb nudged my mom. "Oh. They're breaking out the E. Time for us old folks to skedaddle."

My mom looked genuinely baffled. "E? What's that?"

Deb laughed and pulled her and Vic toward Brian and I to say goodbye.

My mom gently touched Brian's face and smiled. He quirked an eyebrow.

"You did a wonderful thing tonight, Brian."

He gave her a forced smile. "Yeah, it's super. I just handed Sunshine my balls in front of half of gay Pittsburgh. I'll be the butt of everyone's jokes for months to come."

Emmett leaned back, observing Brian with amusement. "I didn't think you were anyone's butt. Tsk. Tsk. How the mighty have fallen…"

Ted added, mirth evident in his eyes, "On their knees."

Emmett giggled.

Ignoring Ted, Brian glared at Emmett. "Ha. Ha." Then leaning on the bar with his face in his hands, eyes wide, he said, "You're so clever, Auntie Em."

Emmett threw a hand on his right hip and stuck his tongue out at Brian. Brian laughed.

My mom hugged me and squeezed my arm. "See you later, honey."

"Bye, mom."

Debbie crushed me to her and kissed my cheek.

In my ear, she whispered, "You two looked beautiful on the dance floor, Sunshine."

Her eyes glistened, and I smiled at her shyly. "We did, didn't we?"

She nodded. "You kids should drop by the diner before going home. Late-night snacks are on the house."

In an incredulous voice, Brian answered, "Deb, you know I consume only alcohol and other sundry drugs after midnight. Well, and occasionally a young boy's ejaculate."

I elbowed Brian, giggling, flashed her a smile, and said, "We'll be there!"

Brian shook his head and sighed. "I forgot. Justin's appetite knows no bounds."

I pinched his side, eliciting a laugh, as I teased, "And that doesn't only apply to food. You, of all people, should appreciate my appetite."

Deb laughed and joined Vic and my mom, who were standing by the door.

Vic called out, "Have fun, boys."

As the three walked out, we heard my mom ask Deb in a low whisper, "Wait, is E short for erection?"

Deb shook her head, contorting her face grotesquely as she tried not to smile, and patted my mom on the shoulder. Brian and I burst out laughing.

I opened my water and took a drink, looking out onto the dance floor. "Looks like everyone changed into clubbing clothes."

When Brian didn't answer, I glanced over at him. His eyes darkened as he stared across the room. I followed his gaze and saw the trick I fucked the night of the King of Babylon contest. I bit my lip. This was not good. Perhaps feeling our gazes, the twink looked up and caught my eye. He smiled brightly and headed our way. This was definitely not good. I grabbed the water bottle and Brian's arm, pulling him closer to the stage.

I don't know if it was the E kicking in or the high from the night's events, but I had a crazy idea. I smiled brightly. Brian wasn't the only one who could exorcise demons.

"Stay here, I'll be right back."

Brian's POV

Ten minutes later, Justin returned, bouncing with excitement. God, I loved seeing him happy. I stroked his cheek gently. "So why are you so cheerful?"

"I asked the DJ to play a song for us."

I smiled. "Which song?"

"'High School Confidential.'"

I fidgeted uncomfortably. I snapped, "Why the hell did you do that? I hate that song."

"You do now, but I am hoping to change that."

I was skeptical. Raising an eyebrow, I asked, "How?"

"You and I are going to go on stage and do a little striptease to it." He stressed "little striptease" with a butt wiggle.

"No way," I said shaking my head.

"Why?"

Attempting an amused tone, I asked, "Haven't you always said I can't dance?"

Justin leaned into my chest smiling. Without even thinking, I put my arms around him.

"You don't need to know how to dance. All you need to do is be beautiful. I'll do the rest."

Justin looked into my eyes, a strange faraway expression on his face. In a near whisper, he continued, "And you are beautiful. You're still the most beautiful man I have ever seen."

My breath caught in my throat. My resolve softened, as I met his gaze and cupped his face, drawing my thumb along his jawline tenderly.

"Trust me."

"I do. More than anyone else."

That seemed to surprise Justin. The fact that I actually said that aloud surprised me.

I took a deep breath. "Ok Sunshine, let's do this."

Justin nearly blinded me with a smile and pulled me along as we headed for the stage. Once there, he directed me to take off my shoes and socks, and he did the same.

Justin's POV

The DJ walked onto the stage, placing a chair in the center, and announced, "For your viewing pleasure, the former King of Babylon will now do a little striptease for us. Come on up, Justin!"

The crowd stopped dancing and started clapping. Brian and I climbed up onto the stage. Then our song began to play.

I turned Brian toward the crowd and slipped behind him, slowly peeling his jacket off and letting it drop to the floor. I swung around to face him, nudged his nose gently, and touched his forehead with mine. Then I grabbed his ass, pulled him against me roughly, and drew him into a scorching kiss, to which he eagerly responded, his hands cupping my face to deepen it.

The crowd hooted.

I pulled back, and, when the music crescendoed, I ripped his shirt open in one rapid motion. Buttons flew everywhere. Seeing his chiseled muscles and warm golden skin, the crowd went wild. Brian actually smiled then. I traced circles around his nipples and then slid my hands down his chest as I sunk lower, finally kneeling. Still kneeling, I swung behind him again and stood up slowly, rubbing against him as I did so. Then I ran my hands along his waist, unbuckled his belt, and pulled it off with a crack.

The crowd cheered.

Tossing the belt aside, I moved my hands back to his waist and unbuttoned his pants. I unzipped and opened them slowly, exposing black briefs, which housed his huge fully erect cock. Then I yanked his pants down.

More cheering and hooting.

Brian stepped out of them, now clad only in black briefs. I pulled him to face me (standing sideways), ran my fingers up his chest, and pushed him down into the chair with a wink. I pushed my shoulders back and let my jacket fall to the ground. I turned away from the crowd and unbuttoned my shirt as I wiggled my butt.

More cheers.

I swung back around, unbuttoned my pants, slowly unzipped them, and wiggled until they were pooled at my feet.

More hooting.

Then clad only in white briefs and my unbuttoned shirt, I straddled Brian.

My breath heavy from my exertions and all the rubbing and kissing, I panted. Leaning into him and rubbing my cheek against his, I whispered, "Push my shirt off my shoulders and then put your hands on my waist."

Brian quirked an eyebrow at the crowd as he complied. I let my arms fall behind me as I arched my back until I was nearly upside down. My shirt fell to the floor. Brian, finally getting into the striptease, licked me from my belly to my chest and then gently sucked one of my nipples. My body flushed pink.

More cheering and hooting.

I rolled back up and put my arms around Brian's neck. His grip on my waist tightened as I rubbed my cock against his. Then I rolled my head side to side for a few moments, finally lifting it back up and drawing Brian into another scorching kiss. He moaned in my mouth, as the song ended and the lights onstage faded to black. I grabbed our clothes and Brian's hand and ran off the stage.

**The Alley**

Brian's POV

Justin was so gorgeous…and coordinated. When we were on stage, I had tried to look impassive. Uninterested in the striptease, the crowd's hungry eyes devouring every inch of our bodies, a certain perky young blond's body rubbing against mine, and the images filling my head when he swung on me as though I were a stripper's pole. But my mask had slipped a few times, revealing my white-hot passion for Justin, the pleasure I derived from the crowd's enjoyment of the _Brian and Justin Show_, and my amusement with some of Justin's more bad porno antics, like ripping my shirt open. I chuckled as I remembered Justin's naughty eyebrow waggle immediately beforehand.

We had dressed, but we had left off the jackets and other sundry accoutrements, and our shirts remained unbuttoned, not that I could have buttoned mine if I wanted to.

Justin returned from the bar carrying two water bottles. He was still beaming from the thrill of our performance. He handed me one and took a sip from his, and, then, he stood on his tiptoes and leaned in, tracing my lips with his tongue. I opened my mouth and moaned softly as he slowly pushed his tongue into my mouth. The chill of his met the heat of mine, sending shivers down my spine. I think it had the same effect on him because he trembled. I grabbed his ass, pulling it roughly against my hardening cock, and rubbed our cocks together as Justin deepened the kiss. Suddenly, the world burst in. Justin's phone started ringing just as I heard Mikey approach giggling like a child. We both groaned and pulled apart.

As Justin answered his phone, I turned toward Mikey.

"Brian, that…that was SO FUCKIN HOT!"

I smiled at Mikey and then looked for my partner in crime. Meeting my gaze, he lifted his phone and mouthed Daphne. I nodded almost imperceptibly, and he left to find a quiet corner.

Thirty minutes later, when Justin still had not returned, I started to worry. I scanned the dance floor and the bar area, but my blond was nowhere in sight. Maybe he'd gone outside. The club was hopping tonight and, thus, quite loud.

I walked outside, down the stairs, and into the alley. Then I saw him. Twink 1 from the King of Babylon contest. He was talking to someone. I stiffened, everywhere but my cock, when I saw that that someone was attached to a luscious ass with skin like porcelain. Justin. My eyes widened in shock. Surely he wouldn't…but then why was he naked from the waist down? Had he finished fucking this twink? Was he about to start? I felt sick. Justin's vehement declaration resounded in my head. _You can parade a million tricks through here, but it won't change a thing. I will still love and want only you_. What a fucking joke! No, the joke was that I had believed him.

I laughed and turned to leave, when, suddenly, I heard Justin snap in annoyance, "Christ. Can't a person just take a piss in peace?"

I wheeled around and approached slowly.

I didn't hear the twink's reply, but, then, Justin said, a little more patiently, "Look, you seem like a great guy, and no one is disputing that you're hot, but I just don't do repeats. I am in a relationship, and that's our rule.

I don't know if I was more relieved or terrified to hear Justin use the word relationship when talking about us. But I had asked him to be my boyfriend. I needed to get used to thinking of us that way.

I was no longer jealous and hurt, but I was still feeling insanely possessive, so, when I saw Justin pulling up his pants, I closed the distance between him and me in two long strides, wrapped an arm around him, buried my face in his neck, and growled, "Don't."

Justin's breath caught in his throat, and he moaned, "Brian."

I glared at Twink 1 and barked, with sadistic glee, "He's mine. Get lost. Or stay and watch. But keep your hands off."

I looked down and smiled. Justin's cock had grown fully erect as I'd claimed him. In a husky voice, Justin whispered, "Oh God Brian. Fuck me now. Fast and hard."

That was all I needed. I licked, sucked, and bit Justin's neck as I dropped my pants and sheathed my cock. He rolled his head back, resting it on my shoulder to give me more access. Now in the throes of a bestial passion, I grabbed Justin's hips, held them steady, and, with a low grunt, buried myself to the hilt in his luscious ass with a single thrust. In response, Justin started moaning more loudly than I have ever heard him. His lusty noises set me on fire. I started fucking him hard. Then I angled my hips and started moving shallowly inside him, hitting his prostate on every thrust, all the while licking, sucking, and biting his neck with greater ardor. Justin opened his eyes and gazed up at me, his eyes half-lidded, as he began pushing back, trying to quicken the pace. I growled and fucked him even harder, pulling out as much as I could and then slamming back into him, my balls slapping his ass so hard that I think Twink 1 could hear it. Yes, Justin's pathetic stalker had lingered, perhaps hoping that we'd pull him into the mix. But I think he changed his mind. I looked over at him, my face the picture of animal lust and ferocity, getting off a little at the sight of his shocked face.

I turned back to Justin, my body so overwhelmed with pleasure that I closed my eyes and buried my face in his neck. So. Fucking. Close. I reached around and fisted Justin's cock, stroking him hard and fast. Seconds later, we were both coming hard.

After we took a few minutes to catch our breath, I turned Justin around and smiled at him broadly. He wore a similar shit-eating grin. I giggled and touched his forehead to mine. Maybe a little drama was a good thing.

**The Jeep**

Brian's POV

We had just zipped up, and I was holding Justin in my arms, my face buried in his neck.

"Justin."

"Yes, Brian?"

"I think we should head toward home."

"This early? It's only 1:00AM."

"Well, I didn't say head home. I said head toward home."

"Ahh…"

I suggested, "We could go to the diner. Even on E, you're probably starving." But I thought, "I'm still feeling possessive, and I have been more than generous today, sharing you with most of gay Pittsburgh. I want you all to myself for the rest of the night."

"Well…actually…I was too nervous to eat earlier."

I laughed. "Figures. I'm going to ask Mikey to drive the Jeep. Call Daphne if you want. See if she wants some late-night grub from the local greasy spoon."

Justin's POV

Ten minutes later, we were in the back of the Jeep on the way to the diner. Lindsay and Melanie had to get back to Gus, but Ben, Ted, Emmett, and Daphne were going to meet us there. Brian had his arm around me, and I had my head on his shoulder. Suddenly, Brian quirked an eyebrow at me, a naughty glint in his eye.

Curious, I asked, "What?"

"Sunshine, I owe you a blow job."

I lifted my head and laughed. "You do?"

"Don't you remember? The ride back to the loft the night Gus was born…"

I smiled brightly and said incredulously, "I can't believe you remember that!"

"I remember everything. I remember how beautiful you looked under the streetlamp. Beautiful and scared, but determined. Lusty and sexy as hell, even in plaid. I remember the way you pulled my hair as we were kissing for the first time. Little fucker. So shy initially…but, as with everything else, you were a natural."

I blushed. Brian smiled and unzipped my pants. The prospect of my cock being enveloped by Brian's hot wet mouth coupled with his brief jaunt down memory lane had it standing at attention and leaking. I glanced at Michael. He was listening to the radio and looking straight ahead. I rested my right hand lightly on Brian's head and watched as he lapped the head of my cock with the flat of his tongue and then plunged the tip in my slit. Oh God. It had been a while since Brian had done this. I spread my legs farther apart and licked my lips. He sucked the head of my cock for a few moments, but then swallowed it whole.

Being in the Jeep watching Brian's head bobbing up and down with Michael at the wheel, now frowning, I couldn't help but remember the first time Brian had sucked my cock. Michael had interrupted us in the Jeep, but it had still happened, shortly after we arrived at the loft. The pleasure Brian was currently giving me, enhanced by my memory of past pleasure, my breath grew ragged, and I moaned low in my throat.

My mind returned again to the first time Brian feasted on my cock, his hands caressing my thighs as he pushed them apart…electricity coursing through my body. When he deep throated me for the first time and swallowed, my body was on overload, filled with a million incredible sensations. Experiencing pleasure beyond anything I had ever imagined…I had almost blacked out.

Suddenly, I was ripped back to the present. Brian had rubbed his fingers in my abundant precum and was now tracing circles around my entrance as he sucked my cock. I gasped as he pushed one inside me, so deep, until he found my prostate. The moment he touched it, I bucked. Waves of heat shot through me. On the brink, I threaded my fingers into his chestnut hair and fucked his mouth mercilessly. Seconds later, I was shooting, filling his mouth to capacity. He swallowed it all hungrily and sat up, looking like a cat who'd eaten a canary. He kissed my lips tenderly, put an arm around me, and slowly guided my head back onto his shoulder.

I'd received many blow jobs since that first one, not only from Brian and Ethan but also countless strangers. But no one had ever come close to making me as crazy as Brian did. Before I had left Brian for Ethan, I had discounted the physical. As mind-blowing as every physical encounter with Brian had been, I was sure that emotional intimacy (as I imagined it) was far superior. In fact, I had assumed that emotional intimacy would naturally follow once I was with someone who could express his emotions in words, someone who frequently made romantic gestures. That had not been the case. Without Brian, I had felt somehow less. As though I had left part of my heart behind. I knew now that that had been true for Brian, too. I also knew that the emotions we expressed through touch were genuine and strong, more intense than any I had ever experienced in other ways. Even now, after everything, Brian and I were still connected. He seemed to be catching the drift of my thoughts because he took my hand in his and threaded our fingers together.

**The Diner (A/N: this part is script style; I hope it's not too weird)**

Ted and Emmett sit on one side of a booth and Daphne, Justin, and Brian, on the other, while Michael and Ben sit together at an adjacent booth (nearest to Ted and Emmett). Brian has an arm around Justin, and Justin has a leg thrown over Brian's.

Deb (approaching the occupied booths): What'll it be boys? Food's on the house tonight. Sky's the limit.

Emmett: What's the occasion?

Deb: Sunshine and Brian's going steady of course! (pats Brian's arm)

Justin (giggles and then in a stage whisper): Deb!! Ix-nay on-ay oking-pay e-thay ear-bay…

Brian (shaking his head): Don't you think Pig Latin is beneath a student of the prestigious Pittsburgh Institute of Fine Arts, a student who purportedly earned a 1500 on his SAT?

Justin pinches one of Brian's nipples.

Brian yelps, but the smile never leaves his face.

Justin: You were the one who insisted on getting high before we came in here!

Michael: I love Pig Latin, no, wait, I ove-lay ig-Pay atin-Lay! What is Pig Latin for _I_, anyway? (furrowing brow in perplexity)

Justin (sighs): You just add "ay" because it begins with a vowel.

Michael: Oh…yeah… I-ay ove-lay ig-Pay atin-Lay!

Daphne (hits Brian): I can't believe you two didn't include me!

Brian (sighs heavily): I suppose…I could smoke you up after we order…

Daphne (claps and smiles): Oh goodie!

Deb (chuckling): So what'll it be?

Justin: You should tell us. You're always so good at guessing. Like a Mysterious Marilyn for food. What is it that she always says?

Emmett: (mimicking her voice) God writes the scripts sweetie…

Everybody (in chorus): I just read the lines! (laughter)

Deb: Well, lemme see…(holds the order pad up to her head and closes her eyes)…for Sunshine, I see a cheeseburger and fries.

Justin (shakes his head in amazement): See, she's good.

Brian looks at Justin and laughs, shaking his head.

Deb: normally, Brian'd get nothin or a turkey sandwich no mayo…but since he's stoned out of his gourd…

Brian (lifting his arm, a finger extended): Hey, I take issue with that…

Deb (unperturbed by the interruption): …and we don't serve pizza or KFC here…I'm gonna guess…a double order of French fries slathered with gravy.

Brian (looks up in shock): That's seriously what I was going to order.

Justin (nods his head solemnly): See what I mean…

Deb: hmmm…Michael will probably have a bacon cheeseburger and fries, while Ben will probably want fruit.

Ben and Michael nod, smiling.

Deb: Ted and Emmett seem to have missed the big smoke out…so I'm going say just coffee for them.

Ted: Yup.

Emmett: (in a very serious tone) Downright spooky.

Deb: Daphne…You'll probably want a cheeseburger and fries, but with a milkshake or a sundae to satisfy the sweet tooth you'll develop after taking your little trip outside.

Daphne (big smile): That's exactly what I was thinking!

Justin: ooo…ice cream sounds good (rubs hands together). I'm gonna want a chocolate sundae with caramel.

Daphne: that does sound good! Me, too.

Ted (shaking his head in amazement, to Emmett): Where does he put it all?

Emmett (nodding matter of factly): That luscious bubble butt.

Justin (lifting his butt up and peering behind him): Hey! My butt is nice! Not too big at all.

Brian (laughs): I for one can vouch for that.

Deb leaves (chuckling).

Brian: Fuck, I forgot to ask for more coffee!

Justin (Brightly): Oh, I can get that for you.

Justin jumps up, fetches the coffee pot, and comes around the register. In anticipation, Brian has moved to the counter with his cup. Justin refills his cup.

Justin (Purrs): Can I get you anything else?

Brian (In a husky voice): Yeah, come to think of it…

Brian pulls Justin in for a kiss. Justin happily obliges (places the coffee pot on the counter and wraps both arms around Brian's neck). The kiss quickly becomes a full-body make out session. Brian rubs Justin's cock through his pants. Justin moans softly in Brian's mouth. Brian kisses Justin's neck, continuing to rub Justin's cock. Justin returns the favor.

Justin: Mmm…

Daphne: So…you guys gonna keep up the floor show or smoke me up like a certain someone promised?

Brian: (Distracted): Oh yeah, that. In a few minutes… I have a little something take care of…

Justin wraps his legs around Brian's waist as Brian stands up. Justin pulls his head back so that he is looking at him.

Justin (offended) A _little_ something?

Brian (Laughs): Ok, a big something…a huge, mammoth, even ginormous something

Justin: Humph. That's more like it.

Brian starts carrying Justin to the bathroom. They start making out again on the way.

Ben (incredulously): Can they ever go 15 minutes without being all over each other?

Daphne, Ted, and Emmett (in chorus): NO!

Michael is oblivious. A few minutes later. Michael, still oblivious, goes to the bathroom. The gang watches him depart in horror, but no one moves to stop him. A minute after that, they hear a scream and look toward the bathroom. Michael runs out of the bathroom at top speed. They can hear Justin and Brian laughing.

Michael (arms crossed, sullenly): I am never washing my hands in that sink again! In fact, I may never use that bathroom again!

The gang laughs. A few minutes after that, the lusty pair return, looking freshly fucked…clothes askew…hair messed up…Justin flushed. Big grins. They don't sit down. They just motion to Daphne and keep walking out to the Jeep. One by one, everyone moves to join them, except Ben (first Michael, then Emmett, and then Ted).

Later…Everyone is eating. Justin keeps sneaking glances at Brian's fries.

Brian (laughs): If you ask nice, I might give you one...

Justin (sweetly, batting eyelashes): Brian, could I have one of your gravy fries, please?

Brian picks up a fry. Justin licks his lips.

Justin: More gravy.

Brian (laughing) swirls it in a puddle of gravy and then feeds it to Justin. A dollop lands on Justin's cheek.

Brian: oops…I got gravy on you…

Brian licks Justin's cheek. Justin's eyes brighten.

Justin: Oh yeah. I didn't notice before, but you got gravy on yourself, too.

Justin kisses Brian's face right next to his mouth and then licks and sucks a spot on his neck.

Brian: (closing his eyes): Mmm…

Justin (huskily): You got it everywhere…Tsk. Tsk. Such a messy boy.

Justin climbs into Brian's lap (straddling him) and alternately licks and sucks various places on Brian's face and neck. Pretty soon, they are French kissing, and Justin is grinding his cock against Brian's, while Brian squeezes Justin's ass and pulls Justin closer to him.

Emmett (stares at the lusty pair, sighs dreamily): All we need is some popcorn.

As Brian and Justin's kissing/grinding becomes more heated, even desperate, they slide into Daphne. Daphne spills her coffee.

Daphne (angry): Hey! Watch it!

Michael (annoyed, but watching closely): You two might as well strip and fuck right here!

Ted (eyes widening, as he, too, watches the action): Yeah, go for it!

Justin (whispers to Brian): Creepy…they're all watching!

Brian: I think that's our cue.

Brian tosses a couple of bills on the table and then slides them both out of the booth. Justin wraps his legs around Brian's waist as Brian stands up.

Brian and Justin: Later.

Brian carries Justin out. He doesn't take two steps before they are making out once more.

Fade to black. The bell on the diner door rings.

**The Loft (aka Truth or Dare)**

Justin's POV

We'd just made it back to the loft. After leaving the diner, we barely made it to the Jeep before we were fucking. Again. Remembering, I smiled brightly.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Brian looked puzzled, but opened it. He plastered a huge fake smile on his face when he saw the visitor. "Why, Ian, to what do we owe this honor?"

Alarmed, I stood up and joined Brian by the door.

"Ethan, what are you doing here?"

He walked in, a hateful expression on his face. His hair looked even oilier than normal, and his goatee needed a serious trim. It looked like some critter had attached itself to his chin.

He handed me a small paper bag.

"What's this?"

"I found these strewn about the apartment, you know, from the many times we fucked."

I sighed. Both Brian and I looked in the bag, boxer-briefs. Super. I studied Ethan, his mouth turned into a cruel sneer, and, then, Brian, an amused expression on his face. I shook my head. What on earth had I ever seen in Ethan?

I said coldly, "I think you'd better leave, Ethan."

"Not that your visit hasn't been a pleasure," Brian said with a smile.

"Sure, whatever. Oh, by the way, Justin, that was one hell of a blow job you gave me before you disappeared."

Brian's eyes flashed with anger. He pushed Ethan out with one hand and slid the loft door shut with the other.

I closed my eyes and sighed. Here it comes.

Brian walked to the other side of the loft and stared out one of the large windows. Without turning around, he asked, "So, Sunshine, how large was the fiddler's cock? A nice size? Bigger than mine?"

Good grief. Suddenly, I had an idea.

"Let's play truth or dare."

Brian turned around, looking at me as though I had lost my mind. "What?"

"Let's play truth or dare."

"You have to be fucking kidding."

"No. Might be fun. Come on."

Brian didn't look convinced. "Well, we'll see how fun it is…"

I smiled brightly. "You start."

Brian sighed. "Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Did you let him (he gestured toward the door) fuck you?"

"Nope."

"No?" He looked doubtful.

"I never let anyone fuck me. No one but you."

He sputtered. Yep, Mr. Smooth, Brian-Fucking-Kinney, was sputtering. "But…but you love it when I fuck you."

I smiled. "That's right. I love it when _you_ fuck me."

Brian shook his head, trying to wrap his head around this new information.

"Ok. My turn. Truth or dare?"

Brian hesitated, thinking. Probably wondering which would be more painful. Heh heh. "Truth."

I didn't want to push too hard right away, so I asked, "Why did you punch Michael at Lindsay and Mel's party?"

Brian balled his fist. So tightly that his knuckles started turning white. "He said that after what you had done, maybe you weren't worth being saved. That maybe I should have left you lying there in the parking garage. Truth or dare?"

Ouch. "Truth."

"Why did you leave the Rage party with Ethan?"

Oh boy. I took a deep breath. "Once upon a time…"

Brian rubbed his hands together and said in an excited voice, "Ooo…a fairy tale!"

I rolled my eyes and repeated, "Once upon a time, I thought that Chris Hobbs was a decent human being. Even when I realized that he was an asshole, I still wasn't afraid of him. I never thought he would hit me in the head with a bat, that he hated me that much, that I was that much of a threat to him. But so many people had told me that I should be less honest…more careful. So, after the bashing, I started having doubts…If they were right about that, maybe they were right about other things, too, like you and me. Maybe we were just about sex or guilt or pity or convenience. Maybe you were only with me because I wouldn't leave you alone. Maybe you didn't… couldn't love me." I tried to keep my voice even, but it broke on the last few words.

Brian rolled his lips into his mouth, but said nothing.

Slowly, I continued, "I tried to have faith…to trust my own instincts and what I saw in your eyes. But I'm not perfect. I need reassurance sometimes. I know you think words are crap, and, most of the time, I agree, but, every once in a while, I need to hear how you feel. That you'd miss me if I weren't here. That you care. But you clammed up, while people who'd known you much longer than I had told me over and over that I expected too much. That you'd never really return my feelings. Eventually, I started to believe them. So I left."

Brian nodded slowly as he stared into space, thinking.

My voice brought him back to the present. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare."

I smirked. "I dare you…to recite me a sweet poem of the 'roses are red, violets are blue' variety."

His eyes brightened a little at this.

"(After I kiss him senseless) Sunshine's lips are bright red.

His eyes, crystal blue.

I love it when he gives me head.

But I enjoy shoving my dick up his ass, too."

He looked quite pleased with himself.

I laughed. Rolling my eyes, I said, "How touching."

"Okay, Sunshine. Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

Brian took a deep breath and asked, "So why did you come back? Why did you leave the fiddler?"

I smiled brightly. "Because you're Brian-Fucking-Kinney!"

Brian shot me a "be serious" look.

I took a deep breath and responded, "There were a lot of reasons. I missed you more than I could ever express in words, and our being apart seemed so wrong. Especially when I learned that you weren't handling my leaving too well. Certainly not the way I'd expect you to handle it if everything people had said about you and us were true."

Brian scoffed, "I was fine!"

I laughed, "Uh, okay."

Brian shot me a death glare.

I continued, "Anyway…my relationship with Ethan and Ethan himself, well, they defied expectation. I thought that with another verbally expressive, romantic person, I would feel a stronger connection, but I didn't. The connection Ethan and I had, if a real connection at all, paled in comparison to the one I had with you. Even after I left, you seemed to trust me and care about me and my needs much more than Ethan ever did. The night before I left, you let me in and held me even though you knew I might leave you for Ethan. But he didn't trust me even after I left with him."

Brian chuckled, "I guess he was afraid you'd come running back to me."

I nodded. "…and after I left, despite your unhappiness, you genuinely wanted me to be happy. But Ethan seemed to care much more about his own happiness. However, what finally made me realize that I should trust my instincts and my feelings was the prom tape."

"Ah…the prom tape. I wondered why you made so many sketches from it."

"Of course. It had the answer to every question that had been plaguing me about you and us…For so long, Daphne had said that she knew, knew, you loved me because of the prom. Because of the way you looked at me, held me, kissed me…Unfortunately, I had no memory of it. I wanted so much to believe her, but I had started to think that maybe she was just telling me what I wanted to hear. I desperately needed to know that our relationship wasn't one-sided, and the prom tape proved that it wasn't. I could finally see us through Daphne's eyes. She's the only person who can see us clearly. She, unlike everyone else, has no agenda. I mean, she loves me, but she loves you, too."

Brian smiled and nodded, "Daphne _is_ cool."

I laughed.

Brian looked at me with a serious expression (was he touched?), swallowed hard, and reached up to caress my face. He traced my jawline with his thumb, and, then, he pulled me into his arms, kissing me gently. I looked up into his eyes, and what I found there stopped my heart. I couldn't breathe. If I ever again doubted that he loved me, I would remember his eyes at this moment. Brian kissed me again. So tenderly.

Then, Brian smiled, a naughty glint in his eye. "Race you to the bed. Whoever wins gets to be on top."

I flashed him a million-watt smile, and we both took off running.


	10. Morning Musings

Justin's POV

The best defense is a good offense. After the magic of last night, all I wanted to do was watch the man I love sleep. Waking up beside Brian had not been a regular occurrence in weeks. But instead, I was trying to devise a game plan. I wasn't above lying or misleading to ensure that Brian wanted me, and badly. I was man enough to admit that I felt incomplete and unhappy without him. When we were apart, the world lost its luster. Pleasures of any kind were less satisfying; achievements, hollow; and inspiration, rare. I knew Brian felt the same way. The difference is that he would live that way, torturing himself, for the sake of his pride or because he thought I was better off without him. I, on the other hand, would not. Not anymore. Brian was the source of the most intense love and passion I had ever known, that I would ever know. Our recent separation had taught me that all too well. Unfortunately, he was also the source of the most intense anguish and pain. But was a painless and boring existence better? Fuck no! Even if it were, choosing boredom didn't mean I'd never be hurt, just that I'd never feel that heat and electricity coursing through my veins, rippling through every cell in my body, that all-consuming passion spelled B-R-I-A-N.

Brian had willingly sacrificed some of his pride last night. I'd need to minimize that as much as possible, while also making myself irresistible. The last thing I wanted was to witness another trick marathon. Desire, admiration, jealousy, and possessiveness were much more powerful than love and romance, at least in Kinneyland. Sure, I'd rather just be open and honest, but, with Brian, that was the quickest way to disaster. Life with him meant communicating without words and pretending, a little. Never getting too comfortable.

Ok, so the game plan. I'd need to busy myself with school and work most of the day, perhaps only returning to the loft at 9 or 10 pm (Woody's/Babylon time). I extricated myself from the mess of arms and legs we made and padded softly toward the kitchen. I thought better after coffee. As I shoveled imported Italian coffee into the wire mesh filter and poured purified water into the gaping maw of Brian's, no our, gleaming silver coffeemaker, I thought back to a frustrating morning last week. Try as I might, I just couldn't paint. I didn't even feel like drawing. Ethan had wanted to "make love" in what passed for a shower at his place, but I was strangely un-horny. My morning wood had softened moments after waking and would not return, despite the fact that Ethan was fondling and kissing me. I don't know why I didn't make the connection then. His shower invitation, made just after I fell out of bed, had reminded me of Brian. I guess my pride had made me a little dense. After Ethan pretended he was okay with taking a shower alone and rushed out, I dropped into a chair and opened my sketch pad. I picked up a pencil, but hesitated for a long time. When I finally put pencil to paper, I didn't draw anything. Instead, I wrote, "Suddenly, my world is too small. I'm too small." A slight ringing jerked me out of my contemplation. The coffee was ready. I poured myself a cup and laughed softly. My world had grown considerably since then. For the last 24 hours, I had been so inspired, turned on, and energized that I felt like I could fly if I wanted; as cliché as that might sound, that description exactly matched my state of mind and heart. Suddenly, anything, everything, was possible. I leaned on the counter and sipped my coffee, watching Brian from afar, but not too far.

So I'd come back to the loft at 9 pm…take a shower, make sure I looked hotter than hell, and go to Woody's or Babylon by myself, if Brian hadn't invited me by then. Either way, I'd need to play hard to get, dancing with people who are not Brian and maybe even hitting the back room for a blow job. I'd said that I didn't want to trick outside of date night, and I didn't, but I might have to if Brian started to feel overwhelmed by our new relationship status. But receiving a blow job was hardly the same as fucking someone. Hell, that was foreplay if Brian happened to be there.

Suddenly, the object of my scrutiny stirred. Looking away quickly, I took another sip of my coffee.

"Mmm. Is that coffee I smell?"

I looked over at Brian and answered, "Yup."

"Bring me a cup, would you dear?" Brian asked in that cute girlfriend falsetto he did sometimes.

I laughed. "Sure. Anything for you, sweetums," I replied in a mocking tone.

I handed him the cup, and, once he'd set it securely on the nightstand, he pulled me down to the bed and kissed me long and hard. Afterward, I mentally sighed in contentment.

"So what are your plans today?"

"Mmm…the diner, school, and, later, I need to go to the library with a classmate to work on a project."

Brian groaned in complaint. "Busy day. Do you have time for a long shower?"

"Sure." I smiled brightly. "I'm always up for that."

Mentally, I added, "When you're the one fucking me into the wall."


	11. Round One

Brian's POV

Today, despite the great start, was interminable. I knew Justin would be busy all day, so I put in some extra hours at the office. By 8 pm, I was becoming seriously lesbianic. I missed Justin. I had lost all ability to concentrate and was doing little more than watching the seconds tick by on the old wall clock in the hall outside my office. Eventually, accepting my weakness and deciding to embrace it, I headed home. Justin had said that he'd be back at the loft by 9 or 10 pm, but I was really hoping that he'd be there when I arrived. He wasn't. I waited to shower because I wanted Justin to join me. Christ. Being his boyfriend was seriously messing with my head. I continued to mentally berate myself, but I also continued to wait. However, if anyone saw me, that person would swear I was hard at work, pointing and clicking away…brow furrowed, as though I were deep in thought. I'd been playing this game a long time. Finally, _finally_, at 9:30 pm, Justin rolled in. I successfully resisted the urge to pin him to a pillar and fuck him into tomorrow. In fact, I pretended that I didn't hear him come in. Only when he said "Hey" softly did I look up.

"Oh, I didn't hear you come in." However, I couldn't resist playing wife. I smiled brightly and asked in a high-pitched voice, "How was your day, dear?"

Justin laughed. Fuck, he was beautiful when he laughed.

"It was good; constructive, but long."

"Yeah. For me, too. So we should get ready if we're going to Babylon."

"Sounds good."

I started stripping as I slowly, very slowly, made my way to the bathroom. Justin watched in silence, but, after a couple of minutes, he looked a little flushed. I smiled. I knew I was hot as hell, but, somehow, all the cruising in the world didn't mean a damn thing if I couldn't get Justin panting at the drop of a hat or, in this case, the drop of a suit. A minute or two after I entered the shower, Justin was behind me, his rock hard cock pressed against my leg, his hands exploring my body. I turned to face him, nudged his nose gently, cupped his cheeks, and, then, pulled his lips to mine roughly, taking possession of his mouth. I kissed him so deeply and desperately that I nearly swallowed him whole. I moved an arm down to circle his waist and pulled his cock against mine, rubbing them together. Justin moaned softly in my mouth. This felt so good, so right. Justin here at the end of a long work day, his tongue in my mouth, his body pressed against mine. Justin took a step back and started to lick my chest, laying kisses in a path toward my cock. Hell, no. I was going to give him the best head of his life and, then, fuck his brains out. My way of saying, "I missed you today and for the last few weeks. I'm glad you came home."

Ethan's POV

God, he looked so beautiful tonight. Not that he doesn't always look beautiful. But tonight, he was actually glowing. His hair had that shaggy, feathered look. Not that I didn't love his hair when it was shorter. But tonight it looked phenomenal. He was wearing jeans that perfectly displayed his gorgeous ass and a sheer baby blue shirt that showed about an inch of his abdomen. He has the most beautiful skin, soft and creamy white. Just looking at him made me ache to touch him. I couldn't bear it for long. The fifteen minutes I watched him dancing at Babylon had me seconds from orgasm. But the hair, the clothes…they meant little. What made him so beautiful tonight was the happiness coming off him in waves. He was glowing. For _him_. That piece of shit whore. Poor Justin. For an ultra-intellectual, he could be so stupid.

I couldn't have been more surprised when Justin went back to that asshole. What the hell did that say about me that he'd rather be a convenient fuck for a whore than a boyfriend whom I treasured. I was ready, willing, and able to swear off all other men for him. Could Brian say the same? Would he ever be able to offer that? No and No! So why? Why would Justin go back to him? Was the sex so phenomenal? Was Justin that shallow? No. No. That couldn't be. Not my Justin. My Justin was a sensitive and loving artist. Sure, he admired beauty, but he saw beauty in unlikely places and people, too. He was definitely a man of substance. Not like that whore he claimed to love. For fuck's sake, Brian's picture was in the dictionary under superficial. He cared more about his appearance, his reputation as the Stud of Liberty Avenue, the car he drove, and his shoe collection than he did about Justin. Justin was too special, too beautiful of a person, inside and out, to be with that sleazebag. Justin was just suffering from self-esteem issues. He didn't realize that he deserved better, deserved more. Justin had told me that the romance, love, and fidelity I offered would never make him happy because they came from me, not Brian. So…what? He was going to spend the rest of his life watching Brian fuck and be sucked in the backroom, occasionally even walking in on Brian fucking tricks in their "home?" It was bad enough that Brian couldn't be bothered to take Justin on an actual date or weekend trip once in a while…or to give him a birthday present he could show his mother. But to so flagrantly illustrate over and over that Justin wasn't enough to sate his sexual appetite. That he'd never be enough. On top of that, to refuse to say that he loved Justin. Who in their right mind would be happy with that? No. Justin was clearly troubled. I had to help him. Practice some tough love.

Emmett's POV

Baby had it going on tonight! Brian and Justin had no sooner walked in the door than Justin headed for the dance floor. Brian seemed a little surprised. But he quickly recovered and headed to the bar. He ordered a beer and then leaned back, apparently scoping out the talent, but I knew better. He was surreptitiously stealing glances at Justin. Boy, Justin was on fire. Dressed in a tight baby blue shirt and ass-hugging jeans, he was undulating sensuously to the music, eyes closed, a sight no one could ignore. From the bar, I could see a circle three-men thick move closer to him. I looked over at Brian to see what effect this was having on him. He was NOT a happy camper. He was tapping a finger on the side of the bar. He seemed to be fighting the urge to join Justin on the dance floor and fend off his boyfriend's horny fans. What a trip that I could actually call Justin that! Uh oh. When I looked back at the dance floor, I noticed that two men were dancing with Justin. The man behind him, a tall hunky blond, had his hands on Justin's waist and was grinding his cock into Justin's ass. The man in front, a brunet of medium height, toned, but not too buff, had his arms around Justin's neck and was running his fingers through Justin's silky locks. Brian was now staring directly at the Justin sandwich on the dance floor. His eyes were dark with jealousy. I decided to help him out, give him an excuse to head out there.

"Hey, Brian."

Not moving his body or his gaze an inch, he barked, "What?"

"I just got some great E. You want a couple hits for you and Justin?"

Come on, Brian. End your misery.

He hesitated, but, then, nodded. "Yeah. That'd be cool."

I handed him the tabs, and, moments later, he was next to Justin. After glaring at the pieces of bread, he had Justin all to himself. He smiled so brightly. Very un-Brian-like. Before I'd offered Brian the E, five songs had come and gone, and Brian hadn't dragged anyone to the backroom. He hadn't even looked for a potential trick. That had to be a record. Baby had definitely won this round!


	12. The Twink and the Sex God

Justin's POV

Ethan called me while I was at school. He said he needed to see me. That it was urgent. At first, I refused. I told him it was a bad idea, that we were over and that he needed to accept it. But then, he threatened to come to the loft. That was the last thing I needed. _Brian and Justin—take two_ had been going so well. So I went. Ethan welcomed me with a big smile. I sighed and entered the apartment.

A little annoyed, I said, "Okay. I'm here. What is so urgent?"

"What's the rush? I made dinner. Sit down (he gestured to the table). Let's eat while we talk."

"I don't have much time. I'm supposed to meet someone in an hour."

"Brian?"

"Does it matter?"

"I suppose not. Not anymore."

"So…what did you want to discuss?"

"I just…I just need closure."

I rubbed my forehead in frustration.

"Okay. I can understand that." I sat down.

Brian's POV

I adjusted my midnight blue cashmere sweater. It was 6:45 pm. I had decided to do something crazy, and I was nervous as hell. I'd asked Justin to meet me at the loft at 7 pm. He thought we were going to Deb's for dinner, but, little did he know, I'd made reservations at the newest, most fashionable restaurant in Pittsburgh, Lascaux, a bistro named after a place in France where some of the earliest cave paintings were found. Like its namesake, the restaurant contained a complex network of small rooms with low ceilings, and paintings of all types on every wall. Actually painted on the walls. The owner had commissioned murals from many up-and-coming American artists, not just from New York City, but from all over the country. The owner had even managed to poach a chef from one of the most famous restaurants in Paris. After dinner, I was planning to take Justin to the Esquire, the oldest adult theatre still operating in Pittsburgh. The classic dinner and a movie date, Brian Kinney style.

Justin's POV

I'd been at Ethan's for 30 minutes already, and I was becoming increasingly uncomfortable. I didn't want to be late. So when Ethan put his hand on mine, I lost it. I ripped my hand away and jumped up.

"What the fuck?"

"I miss you, Justin. I love you."

I sighed. I still felt guilty for having unwittingly used Ethan.

"Look, I'm sorry that I misled you. Even though I didn't do it on purpose, I still feel bad. But you know that I'm in love with Brian. That I always was…" I looked at him helplessly. "I have nothing to give you. I'm sorry."

I turned to leave, but Ethan grabbed me.

He held me tight and started licking and kissing my neck. "You used to love it when I did this."

I pushed him away roughly.

"Look, Ethan, I feel bad, so I'm trying to be patient, but this is getting out of hand. I need to go."

"To Brian? That fucking whore."

I started to feel dizzy. I guess the stress of dealing with Ethan was getting to me. I shook my head to clear it.

"Watch it, Ethan," I warned. "That's the man I love you're talking about."

"The man you love? The man you love doesn't love you, will NEVER love you. He likes to fuck you. He keeps you around because you're a good lay and give great head, and, best yet, you expect NOTHING from him. No _I love you_s, no dates, no fidelity, nothing! But I _do_ love you. If you'd just come back to me, I'd give you everything you need and want."

"Don't you get it? I never loved you. I loved _the idea_ of you. But it was always about Brian. Why would I come back to you when I never really wanted you in the first place?"

I felt like such an asshole saying it, but it was true.

"You never wanted me? Then why did you moan so loudly when I was kissing your neck, sucking your cock…when you were inside me…?"

"Because, in the heat of the moment, every time I close my eyes, I see Brian. It was never y…"

I blinked. Why did everything look so fuzzy?

Brian's POV

Christ, I was uncomfortable. Brian Kinney didn't do dates. Well, until now. I'm not exactly sure what possessed me to plan such an outing. Everything had been going so well with Justin and me. I guess I just wanted to keep that going. Last time, I had gotten comfortable with us. I hadn't been paying attention, so I'd completely missed Justin's growing unhappiness. His growing disappointment with me, with us. To prevent that, ensure a different outcome, I had to do something different. My skin still crawled at the thought of having a picnic on the floor or giving Justin a bouquet of flowers, but I could do dates. I mean, they didn't have to be lame like heterodates. So I picked something I knew Justin would love and something I knew I'd love. It was perfect. Before the 'romance' of the evening could swell to disgusting proportions, we'd shake it off with some sucking and fucking at a wonderfully seedy adult theatre. Then go home and fuck some more. The perfect compromise. I looked at my cell phone. 7 pm on the dot.

Justin's POV

The world had begun to fade, and I was falling. My last thought was "Had Ethan put something in the food?" Then there was only darkness.

Brian's POV

I'd been calling Justin all night. He hadn't come to the loft as planned, and he wasn't answering his phone. At first, I was pissed, but, when 3 am came and went with no sign of him, I really started worrying. Flaking out like that was more my style than his. I had been pacing the loft since 3 am, calling him every 15 minutes. I no longer cared how pathetic I appeared. At 5 am, I was ready to start calling hospitals and everyone Justin knew. But then, my phone rang.

"Brian?"

Justin's voice was small and raspy.

I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to push down my fear, and, then, I asked as calmly as I could, "Where are you?"

Pause. "I don't know."

Three words that scared me more than I love you.

"It's dark. I can't move. Everything hurts."

Okay. Deep breath. Have to stay calm. _Carl_. Carl could find him. Cell phone triangulation or some shit.

I grabbed my shoes and car keys and headed out the door. "Justin? No need to worry. Carl will be able to find out where you are. I'm on my way to Deb's right now."

Justin didn't respond. A little frantic now. "Justin?" Long pause. "Justin?"

"I…I'm here. Please, please don't bring anyone with you. Okay? Just you. Promise me."

He was crying. I could hear the tears in his voice. FUCK! Why the hell was I hitting every red light? Fuck that. I started blowing all of them.

Heavy sigh. "Okay. I promise."

Justin's POV

My entire body ached. I looked around, again. All I saw was black. No shapes. No light. I shook my head roughly. I was starting to fall asleep again. I had to stay awake. Brian was so freaked out. I had to stay with him. Brian hadn't spoken to me for a few minutes. He and Carl had been talking, but not loudly enough for me to make out words.

Then silence. Suddenly Brian said, "I have the address. I'm just walking to the Jeep."

Brian's POV

Carl wasn't thrilled with me. I had made him swear not to tell Deb or anyone else that Justin was in trouble. Not to send a police escort with me. Not to make any kind of report. Carl had given me the address, and I was on my way. It was a 20-minute drive at 70 mph. Tapping a finger on the steering wheel. Trying not to imagine why Justin couldn't move, why he was so desperate to avoid being seen by anyone but me. Thanking a God I didn't believe in that I had remembered to charge both our phones yesterday.

Justin's POV

I needed help staying awake. Shaking my head and opening my eyes wide was no longer helping.

"Brian, tell me a story."

Brian's POV

"A story? What kind?"

"I don't care. I just want to hear your voice. You have such a beautiful voice."

"A story…uh…okay. Once upon a time…"

"Oh goody, a fairy tale." I could tell that Justin was trying to sound bright, but, apparently, he didn't have the energy.

I blinked several times, but not because I was crying. Brian Kinney doesn't cry.

I cleared my throat, so my voice sounded normal.

"Once upon a time, there was an intrepid twink. He had golden hair and the bluest eyes. He was challenged fashion-wise, despite his great artistic sensibility."

Justin laughed but, then, started coughing.

I punched the steering wheel and sped up.

"So this twink had been having strange urges. He dreamed of sucking cock and taking it up the ass, and, when he was bored in class, he found himself drawing penises. Big ones."

Another laugh-cough.

"One fateful night, when his desire for cock grew too strong, even overwhelming, he dared to go to the queer part of town. He had been there barely five minutes when he met his destiny."

"His destiny?"

"Yes. A tall brunet sex god."

Justin didn't laugh.

"Where'd they meet?"

"Of all places, under a streetlamp. Actually, that was the perfect place. Under the light, the twink's porcelain skin and golden hair seemed to glow. The sex god was drawn to the twink's light…"

Pause.

"…because, despite his gorgeous body, his fantastic fashion sense, and his perfectly styled hair, he was missing something."

"Missing something?"

"Something he didn't even realize he needed."

"What was that?"

Long pause.

"It's difficult to name. Hope…innocent joy…"

Justin sniffled but, then, cleared his throat and asked, "So did the twink get what he was looking for?"

"Oh hell, yeah. He met the one person who could sate his appetite. He got stroked, sucked, rimmed, and rammed. And not just once."

"Was the sex god disappointed with the twink's lack of experience?"

"Are you kidding? The sex god loved to teach, and his pupil was a fucking natural at fucking. And sucking cock. And rimming. And at everything in between."

Yet another laugh-cough.

"I'm here, Justin. I should be looking at your sunny face in a minute or two."

I think I heard him sigh in relief.

Or was that me? I was finally here. It was a white house in a bad part of town. No cars in the driveway. No toys in the yard. The grass was overgrown, and all the windows were covered with wooden slats. I jumped out of the jeep and burst into the house. The dust was so thick, I started coughing. The sunlight illuminated the room, falling on broken furniture, unwashed dishes, filthy rags, and…

Oh God.

A/N: I promise I'll post the next part soon.


	13. Brian Does the Unthinkable

A/N: I wrote this chapter with care, endeavoring to treat the events depicted or alluded to herein with the gravity they deserve. I sincerely hope I've done that. It has been my practice to focus on the positive when naming chapters, so I continued that practice with this installment. Warning: This chapter contains references to rape, violence, and unsafe sex (but no explicit depictions).

Brian's POV

Oh God.

Justin was lying on a bed. There were no blankets, sheets, or pillows. Just a dirty mattress, a box spring, and a bed frame. I gritted my teeth. Justin was lying on a dirty mattress, naked. He was on his stomach, blindfolded and tied up with cotton cloths. Strangely, his head was at the bottom of the bed. His beautiful porcelain skin, being as fragile as it looked, was marred by deep bruises. I balled my fists in rage. Who was responsible? What the fuck had they done to Justin, my Sunshine?

It took everything in me not to start breaking things. Not that there was much I could break. The place was trashed. I took a deep breath. I had to be calm. Any negative emotion from me would only make Justin feel worse.

"Brian?"

"I'm here, Sunshine. Just give me a second, and we'll be out of here. Okay?"

"Okay."

I walked a few steps but, then, stopped. There were footprints in the dust beside the bed, toward the top. I could clearly make out two different types. Some looked like they'd been made by loafers, while others looked like they'd been made by dress shoes.

I went over to the bed, avoiding the footprints, and squatted next to Justin. Examining his face and body again, I noticed a small rectangular-shaped bruise on his cheek, right below his eye, and dried cum on his back and ass. I put a hand to my face, brushing a teardrop away. The dust must be irritating my eyes. Yeah, that's it. I pushed my fingers against my eyelids to prevent more from falling.

Justin's POV

From the moment I'd gained consciousness, I'd been scared. Embarrassingly scared. I didn't know where I was, I ached all over, and I couldn't see.

Something had been lying beside me to my left. When I'd pushed my cheek against it, it felt cool and metallic; it didn't feel heavy, but there was weight to it. I'd run my cheek along it and felt small plastic buttons, like those on a cell phone for adjusting the volume and sending calls to voicemail. I'd hoped it was mine. I'd realized that I must be blindfolded or worse because I couldn't see any lights on what I'd guessed was a cell phone. I'd nudged the phone up with my chin and, then, aimed my nose at the 1 button and then the send button, well, where I'd thought they should be. I'd prayed that the object was, indeed, a cell phone, my cell phone, that my aim was true, and that the tip of my nose wasn't too big to hit only one button at a time. I'd nudged the phone again, this time to the right, and laid my right ear on it. I'd sighed in relief when Brian had answered on the first ring. Thank goodness for speed dial.

I'd felt a little better with Brian on the phone, knowing that he was coming to get me. When I'd heard a loud bang, I'd started to get nervous, but, then, Brian had spoken, and I'd known I was safe. But now, I was growing anxious again. I'd heard Brian moving and knew, by his smell, imported soap, Brian musk, and cigarettes, that he was next to me. But he hadn't said anything more, and he'd even stopped moving. What was making him hesitate? I knew it was bad. It had to be. My entire body ached. I didn't even want to think about the cause, but my ass was especially sore, and, when I clenched my muscles, my entrance stung. Mentally, I implored, "Brian, please talk to me. Do something. Not knowing is killing me."

Brian's POV

Once I'd recovered from my eye irritation, I pulled my hand away from my face. Then I gently kissed Justin's cheek. I'm not sure why. Did he need that gentle touch or did I? I don't know, but Justin relaxed visibly after that. We both did.

Suddenly, an unpleasant thought crossed my mind. Frantically, I looked around and, even, under the bed. Fuck. No condom wrappers. I bit my lip hard to help me retain my calm. I gently untied Justin's hands and feet. I frowned when I saw deep red marks on his wrists. Then I removed the blindfold. It wasn't that bright in here, as the sun had barely risen, but Justin squinted and blinked uncomfortably.

I looked around for Justin's clothes, but didn't see them. Fuck. I hadn't planned for this contingency. Justin sat up slowly, obviously in pain, rolling his neck to get rid of the stiffness. I squeezed his shoulder gently. Then I removed my sweater and handed it to him. My upper body naked now, my nipples hardened in the chill morning air. I grabbed Justin's cell phone off the bed and slipped it into my pocket.

"Here, put this on. I'm going to the Jeep to get something. I'll be back in a flash."

Justin's POV

Once Brian was gone, I stood up. How ridiculous I must look, wearing nothing but a cashmere sweater, walking around a filthy dump of a house.

I walked toward the door and looked around. What the hell was this place? It looked something like what I imagined a crackhouse would look like. The room had broken furniture and a bed without sheets, though why it was in the living room I couldn't say. In addition, dishes crusty with food, empty beer bottles, and trash were strewn about the floor. How had I gotten here? Someone must have brought me. But who? Brian had had to drive for almost a half hour to get here, and I didn't have a car. I guess I could have taken a bus, but why the hell would I have?

I closed my eyes and rubbed my forehead, trying to remember. I was supposed to meet Brian at 7 pm. What had I been doing before that? Then I remembered. _Ethan_. Ethan had asked me to come over, and I had gone. He'd said he needed closure. I couldn't remember much of the conversation, but there was nothing alarming about what I did remember. Think, think.

I looked over at the bed. I wrinkled my nose when I remembered how the mattress had smelled. I chewed on my thumbnail, scanning the rest of the room. I was desperately hoping, though I dreaded it, that something here would trigger a memory. Suddenly, my eyes lighted on something metal, glinting in the sunlight pouring in from the doorway. It was partially hidden under a dirty rag. I didn't even want to contemplate what the rag had been used for. It was crusty and discolored. I picked up the ring and stared at it. It seemed so out of place here. Then a memory hit me like a ton of bricks.

Pain. Someone had hit me. Hard. Everything was blurry. Someone was standing in front of me, and someone else was behind me holding me up.

Another flash. More like a feeling. A feeling of someone being inside me. Someone who was not Brian. I felt nauseous. Who? I closed my eyes, not wanting, but needing to explore the feeling, in the hope that I'd remember something else. Put a face or a voice to the body on top of me.

Brian's POV

I nearly ran out to the Jeep, uncomfortable leaving Justin alone even for a minute. I rummaged through the back seat until I found a pair of jeans. I sighed in relief. I went back into the house. Justin was standing in the middle of the living room, staring at a ring he held in his hand, a look of horror on his face.

Without even thinking, I took Justin into my arms, resting my cheek against his neck. He flinched a little, but, then, he whispered, "Brian" in relief and melted into my arms. He held me so tight. I felt a few hot tears fall on my shoulder. Not knowing how to respond, I ran my fingers through his hair. Justin sniffled a little, but, then, he pulled away. He blinked a few times and offered me a weak smile.

I smiled back and tried to sound upbeat. "You look hot in cashmere." Probably the most inappropriate thing I could say, but I was trying to act normal.

Justin offered me another weak smile.

My voice soft, I said, "Here, put these on." I handed him the jeans.

I didn't want to pressure Justin, but he'd need to be tested, and, if the people who had done…this…were to be held accountable, he'd need a physical examination, too. I was also dying to ask him who his assailants were.

Once Justin was dressed, he looked up at me. I held his gaze. He stood tall and tried to smile, but his eyes gave him away. I couldn't describe the feelings expressed there, but he looked like he'd seen or experienced something no one should have to see or experience. He shivered. I doubted that he was cold. I stepped closer to him and tenderly caressed his cheek.

I rolled my lips into my mouth. If only I were clairvoyant…I wanted desperately to do or say what he needed me to do or say, but I hadn't a clue what that might be. I felt like I was walking through a field of landmines. I worried that if I made a wrong move, I could break something inside him. In desperation, I decided to do something crazy, something so unnatural for me, just another in a growing list since Justin and I had reunited. I decided to ask.

I pulled Justin into my arms and whispered in his ear, "Sunshine, I'm lost. I want to give you whatever you need, but I'm just not sure what that is."

Justin's voice was so soft that I could barely hear him. "I wish I knew."

(A/N: The unthinkable thing Brian does is admit vulnerability)


	14. The Intrepid Twink Who Could

Brian's POV

I pulled away before my eye irritation could come back full swing. Then I cleared my throat and said what I'd been holding back.

"You need to decide what comes next. What you might want to happen in the future."

Justin had been looking at me, but, now, he was looking at the floor. I knew that he knew what I meant, what I wanted him to do.

His voice was low, almost a growl. "You're a fucking hypocrite."

I blinked, but didn't respond.

"You didn't report the accident. Before you knew my father was the one who rammed the Jeep, you didn't report it."

What could I say?

"You're right. I didn't report it, and I am a hypocrite because I want you to report this, and I want a doctor to examine you. But I'm not you. In the end, the choice is yours."

Justin's voice was loud and angrier now.

"What the hell is the point anyway? Say I do report this and go through the humiliation of a physical examination. What then? Do you know how seldom reports of rape lead to conviction?"

I shuddered at the word. Rape. I closed my eyes tight for a moment, fighting the urge to punch something or cry. Somehow, hearing it out loud made it more real.

"...Or how short are the prison sentences convicted rapists receive? On top of that, I can't remember much. Throw the fact that I'm gay into the equation, and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that the chances of whoever did whatever they did being caught and punished are very, very slim. Almost infinitesimal. I'm surprised Chris Hobbs didn't get a pat on the back for putting the gay boy flaunting his disgusting lifestyle in his place…"

I flinched visibly.

"…I can't even imagine what a judge would say about this. What my father would say. 'One perversion breeds another. You were just asking for it.' Or better yet… 'Gay men do drugs and fuck strangers all the time. This crime sounds like a regular Friday night on Liberty Avenue.'"

I clenched my jaw and balled my fists so tight that my knuckles were turning white, but, when Justin's eyes finally met mine, blue eyes vulnerable and drowning in tears that had yet to fall, I forced the tension out of my body. I sighed. I needed to be patient.

"Again, you're right. Finding the fuckheads who did this and making them pay wouldn't be easy. It may not even be possible. But you are still bitter about Hobbs, and he was actually charged. If you don't even try to find them and make them pay, will you be okay with that? The Justin I know is a fighter. He stands up for what's right even when the odds are stacked against him."

"Maybe that's who I was…before the bashing…" Justin's voice was so small.

I scoffed, "Fuck that! It may have been more difficult after the bashing, but you never stopped fighting. You worked hard in rehab, struggling to get back the mobility in your hand. You braved the streets when you were suffering anxiety from the bashing. You marched in the Pride parade even after seeing Hobbs at the hospice. You even dared the admissions committee at PIFA not only to take you as you were but also to view your so-called disadvantage as an advantage. You did all that to show Hobbs, yourself, and the world that homophobic assholes couldn't keep you down. Shit, with that first issue of Rage, you reached out to the gay community, not just on Liberty Avenue but everywhere, giving them an outlet for their anger and frustration and inspiring them to fight injustice in their own lives. Hell, just you being you, living, standing, and thriving, is an inspiration. All of that was insanely difficult for you. I know. But you did it anyway because that's who you are. That's the intrepid twink you've always been, always will be."

I knew that, in his head, Justin was adding buts to everything I was saying as I said it, that is, until the end. When I mentioned the fairy tale, the anger, bitterness, and self-loathing cleared a bit, and he smiled. Not a full-on Sunshine smile. But whatever its wattage, the smile reached his eyes.

I couldn't help but smile back.

Justin vs. those who would try to hurt and control him and homophobes everywhere was back on.

Justin's POV

When Brian went out to the Jeep to get his cell phone, I thought,

"All I want to do is crumble.

But I won't.

More memories lost. This time, I am less eager to remember.

But I will.

Because, as Brian so kindly reminded me, that's who I am."


	15. Just As Beautiful

Justin's POV

Brian and I had gone to the police station. I didn't have much to share. Being at Ethan's the evening before. Then waking up at that crackhouse. The hazy memory of two men, one holding me in place while the other hit me. The unpleasant feeling of someone other than Brian being inside me. The ring I'd found.

Brian was surprised to learn that the last place I remembered being was Ethan's. I didn't want to tell him why I had gone (to prevent Ethan from coming to the loft), but I couldn't lie. I needed Brian too much right now. Needed to know that we were okay, nothing threatening the connection between us. His thinking I'd wanted to go to Ethan's would have played into his insecurities. I just hoped that whatever happened, happened after I left Ethan's. If Ethan ended up having something to do with this, Brian would blame himself for sure.

In his statement, Brian described the way I'd appeared when he walked in, tied up and blindfolded, dried cum on my back and ass and bruises on my back and face, as well as the two types of footprints he'd seen.

The physical examination was utter humiliation. The nurses took samples of everything. My hair, my pubic hair, my urine, and my blood. They even swabbed the dried cum and placed it on a small glass plate for testing. Then they took pictures of my bruised body and face. They examined my upper body and my ass. I'd suffered minor rectal tearing and was bruised up pretty bad, but nothing was broken or fractured. The whole time Brian held my hand, but said nothing, his face blank. I knew there was much more going on inside him that he didn't want me to see, probably worried about freaking me out any more than I already was. But it didn't matter. All that mattered was the constant warmth of his hand in mine. I focused on that and little else. Brian's hand, his warmth, was my lifeline.

I was so relieved when were in the Jeep heading home. Home. It was so nice to think of the loft as home again. We drove back in silence. Brian was still holding my hand. He never let go, not even when he had to shift. He actually used his left hand. It was a comical sight, but his devotion was so touching.

Brian's POV

We entered the loft, and Justin immediately headed for the bathroom. I'd seen parts of enough Lifetime movies to know that I didn't want him in there alone. I changed into shorts and followed him in. He was already in the shower. I joined him. He shot me a puzzled look.

Justin laughed. "Uh Brian. Did you forget something?"

Feigning surprise, I asked, "What?"

"Uh…You're still dressed."

"Oh. That." I was washing Justin's back carefully with a sponge.

When I didn't say anything more, Justin spun around angrily.

A bitter edge to his voice, he asked, "What? Suddenly, you aren't attracted to me anymore? Are you trying to be nice? Hiding the fact that I no longer make your dick hard?"

He turned back around. Fuck. He was crying. Hard. His body was shaking.

"It's not like I blame you. I'm bruised all over and after seeing me at that house and then in the hospital…Ugly, weak, and helpless. Filthy. God only knows what sickos were touching me, fucking me. I could be positive." He laughed and then started crying again.

I swung Justin around quickly, though I was careful not to hurt him.

"Stop being a twat."

I slowly unbuttoned and unzipped my shorts and let them fall. Letting Justin see my very erect cock.

He stared in shock.

I lifted his chin, so his eyes met mine.

"I could never see you as weak. Anyone can be overpowered. Anyone. It's what they do after that determines whether they are weak or strong. You've endured so much, but you're still standing and fighting. I just didn't want you to feel pressured. I can't imagine that you'd be comfortable…being with me…not for a while. I don't care what happened, what some fuckheads did to you, about the bruises, or even whether you're positive. You're as beautiful as you've always been. Being close to you like this…naked…how could I not want you?" My voice betrayed me, breaking a little on the last few words.

Justin was crying again, but, somehow, it was different.

I caressed Justin's cheek gently, drawing my thumb over his jawline. I pulled him to me slowly and kissed him. A soft, gentle brush on his lips. Needing more, Justin put his arms around my neck and sent his lips crashing onto mine, kissing me hungrily, desperately. I returned the kiss just as passionately, wrapping my arms around his waist and pulling him against me. Holding him so tight.

We spent many minutes making out like horny teenagers, but, then, I started kissing down Justin's neck. Then I slid down to my knees. I licked the tip of his cock, and he threaded his fingers into my damp hair. I sucked on the head of his cock a few times, watching him. Watching for any sign that he wasn't okay.

I paused when I saw tears streaming down his face. I nearly lost it when he whispered, "Why couldn't it always be you?"

I fondled his balls with one hand and stroked him with the other, while I leaned my head back against the glass and closed my eyes tight. Willing tears away. After a moment, I shook my head and deep throated him. Then everything was drowned out by Justin moaning my name.


	16. Circling the Wagons

Brian's POV

After reading some information online about rape, I was ready to knock some heads together. None of the health care providers at Allegheny General had mentioned postexposure prophylaxis (PEP), which could prevent Justin from becoming positive. They had given him an HIV test and known he'd been raped. Hell, they'd even known that Justin was especially at risk because he'd suffered some minor rectal tearing. What the fuck?

The treatment needed to start as soon as possible and last 28 days, if Justin's HIV test was negative. Maybe I should report this to PFLAG or some other gay-advocacy group. I wasn't sure if their neglect was the result of homophobia, but, whatever the reason, gay men who'd been raped needed to know about PEP just in case doctors and/or nurses didn't offer it. Maybe contacting an HIV/AIDS advocacy group would be better. Female rape victims needed to know their treatment options, too. Thankfully, the health care providers at Allegheny General had not neglected to give Justin antibiotics to help prevent gonorrhea, chlamydia, and trichomonas infection, and Justin didn't need the hepatitis-B treatment, since he'd already been fully vaccinated.

I called the hospital and screamed at half a dozen people. According to the doctor I had finally reached, since Justin had already been seen, I could go back to the hospital alone to get a 5-day starter pack. Justin was peacefully dozing, so I didn't want to wake him. Justin would need to get the rest of the 23-day supply from a doctor specializing in infectious diseases, but that could wait a day or two. There were some side effects, such as headache, nausea, and fatigue, but nothing too serious.

According to the information I'd found, in animal studies, PEP was 100% effective within 24 hours, 50% effective between 24 and 48 hours, and 25% between 48 and 72 hours. There was little specific data on its efficacy in humans (just 81% within 72 hours), but I didn't want to take any chances. Justin hadn't been assaulted before 6 pm. If I could get Justin's first treatment in him before 6 pm that day, Justin would have the best possible chance of being okay. Shit, only a few hours.

After walking to the closet to get clothes, I glanced over at Justin's sleeping form. He looked so serene when he was sound asleep. That serenity along with his blond hair and porcelain white skin made him seem angelic. I stroked his cheek gently. I was so glad I wouldn't need to wake Justin up. Justin deserved every moment of peace and happiness he could get.

After I had picked up Justin's medication, I sat at the computer thinking. I really wanted to take Justin away for a week. The last thing he needed was the gang or his mother finding out, pitying him, assailing him with questions that he couldn't or didn't want to answer. But I didn't want him to think he needed to be hurt for me to want to take him on a trip. I didn't want him going to school this week, either. I was afraid of how it might mess with his head. On top of that, we didn't know who had hurt him. The last thing he needed was to see Ethan when he might have been involved. But I didn't want him to think that I thought he was weak and helpless.

That'd be a good description of me though. I was having lesbianic moments more than not lately, and I had no idea how to help Justin. I doubted that he'd want to see a therapist or join a support group, but he was kind of into the talking thing, and I couldn't think of anyone with whom he could be completely honest. Except maybe me or Daphne, and that's a big maybe. I might be able to get more advice from the therapist who'd helped me when Justin came home from the hospital after the bashing. No. Then I'd have to tell him, and Justin wouldn't want that. I could suggest that Justin call a rape crisis hotline. No. That'd make him feel pathetic. I guess _I_ could call one. Maybe the counselor would have some ideas about how I could help him. I guess what they say about desperate times is true.

*******

Brian: Hello. My (pause) partner was raped. I'm not sure how to help him. He probably won't want to see a therapist or join a support group, at least not right away.

Rape Crisis Counselor: Ok. What kind of support system does he have?

Brian: Well…He has many people who love him, but I'm not sure that that they would be any help. The bulk of them can't see beyond their own needs and feelings to give him what _he_ needs. His mother was able to do that once, in particular, but it was a struggle.

Rape Crisis Counselor: When was that? What had happened?

Brian: He was attacked by a homophobe. As a result, he was in a coma for two weeks and in rehab for a month to relearn how to use his hand. He suffered from anxiety and fits of rage, and he didn't want to be touched.

Rape Crisis Counselor: Oh my. Who helped him then? You said his mother provided some help…

Brian: Well…it took her a while, but she finally realized that he needed to be with the person who made him feel safest.

Rape Crisis Counselor: Who was that?

Brian: (pause) Me.

Rape Crisis Counselor: Why was his mother resistant?

Brian: She blamed me for the bashing. She felt that if he hadn't come out of the closet, he wouldn't have been hurt. To her, I represented the gay world he'd entered. On top of that, I'm 12 years older than he is.

Rape Crisis Counselor: Ah. You said that the bulk of his support system was too self-involved to help him. Other than you, is there anyone else who could?

Brian: His best friend. She is always looking out for his best interest.

Rape Crisis Counselor: Was she part of the healing process after the bashing?

Brian: Yes actually.

Rape Crisis Counselor: Well, given what you've told me, I'd suggest that you and his best friend work together to help him through this. He obviously trusts you both.

Brian: Ok. So what do we do?

Rape Crisis Counselor: Rape victims usually feel ashamed, weak, angry, and isolated. They often blame themselves, feel that they should have been able to fight back or fight back harder, and feel that no one understands what they are going through. They need to know that they are not to blame. That may take some doing. You'll need to reiterate that many, many times and in many ways. Self-defense classes can help. Make them feel safer, better able to fight off possible attackers. That has the added benefit of helping them to express their anger. You might also consider other physical outlets for anger. Having such an outlet will be particularly important for your partner because he's a man, and men are usually raised to believe that they cannot be victims. That they should be strong. Protectors. However, what may be the best help would be to have someone he respects and admires share experiences with him, experiences where he or she felt weak and helpless. Because he's a man, another man would be the ideal choice.

Brian: Argh.

Rape Crisis Counselor: What?

Brian: Well, your first two suggestions wouldn't be hard, but the third one…

Rape Crisis Counselor: He needs to know that anyone can be victimized, that he wasn't raped because of some deficiency, some weakness in himself…and that people who have been victimized can and do recover. That there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Brian: (Deep sigh. Long pause.) My dad used to beat me. Would telling him about that help? I mean, it's not exactly the same…

Rape Crisis Counselor: But it's not that different. Rape is a violent act. It's not about sex. It's about exerting control over someone else. Making them feel helpless. Hurting them. I can understand why you wouldn't want to share your experiences with your partner. Doing so would make you feel vulnerable, and you're probably afraid of losing your partner's respect. But don't you see that that is exactly how your partner feels?

Brian: (silence)

Rape Crisis Counselor: The last piece of advice I'd give you is to try to get your partner to ease up on his regular routine (unless he's the type that needs his routine to cope). Dealing with the rape and any older issues that the rape brings to the surface (like the bashing) is time consuming and emotionally draining. He should focus on healing. Of course, part of that is engaging in activities that make him feel good and confident. Activities that relax and center him.

Brian: I'll do that. Thanks.

*******

After speaking with the rape crisis counselor, I was relieved. At least I had an idea what I could do for Justin. I wasn't sure whether I could open up to him about my childhood, but, shit, if he needed me to do that to recover, how could I not try? But that would wait. I had phone calls to make. Starting with Daphne. Maybe she could stay at the loft for a week or two.


	17. I'm Not Going Anywhere

Justin's POV

I was on top of the world. I'd been dancing for almost an hour, and I'd lost myself in the music. Well not completely. I could feel Brian's heated gaze, and, with my eyes closed, I felt as though we were alone. Just Brian, me, and the music. Brian has this way of making me feel like I am the sexiest, most beautiful man who ever lived. In his presence, I am completely unreserved, uninhibited. Brian's the best high. So I danced for him. I swayed, wiggled my ass, shimmied, writhed, and, even, ground my hips. When a couple of men approached, I almost told them to fuck off. But then, I remembered why I'd headed out to the dance floor in the first place. I needed Brian to need me like he needed air. I wanted him to want me more than he thought possible. I knew that he'd allowed himself to be vulnerable and that he was likely to push me away, despite his desire to hold me close. So I was trying to make that impossible. Seemingly oblivious to his presence, I danced for him as Salomé had danced for Herod, sending his desire to dizzying heights. When the blond and brunet started grinding into me and peppering me with light caresses, I let myself enjoy it. I knew Brian's desire and jealousy would soon take over, all care for his pride and reputation supplanted by his need to possess me.

I felt Brian draw closer, and, moments later, his body was against mine, his breath in my ear. God, yes. He licked my bottom lip and thrust his tongue into my mouth. Soon, he was kissing me so passionately that I forgot how to breathe. His hands were everywhere. Squeezing my ass, inside my shirt caressing the bare skin of my back, rubbing my already achingly hard cock, lightly pinching my nipples, and, finally, sliding up my neck and behind my head as he rubbed his cock against mine and somehow managed to deepen our already passionate kiss. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I needed to taste him, feel his cock inside me. Our eyes met, and I saw my own desire reflected in his half-lidded eyes, dark with uncontrollable lust. If he hadn't slid his arm around my waist, guiding me to the back room, I would have dropped to my knees and sucked him off right there, in the middle of the dance floor.

As we passed the bar, someone brushed his hand against my cock. Brian hadn't noticed, so he kept walking, leading me toward the back room. I looked back and saw Ethan smiling at me strangely. But soon, I was lost in the taste, feel, and smell of Brian, and all thoughts of Ethan disappeared.

Suddenly, Brian was gone. The loss was painful, like a limb being rent from my body. Then I was drowning in a sea of ugly, smelly men. They were pulling at me, holding me down. I fought, trying to push them off me, trying to escape. As soon as I did, someone grabbed me and shoved me against a wall. Ethan was behind me, whispering in my ear, "I know you want me, not him. Look. You're hard."

I looked down. Ethan was right. My cock was hard and dripping. Wait, why was I naked? I turned to look at Ethan, and he was naked, too. Confused, I glanced around. Brian was there watching. Happy and relieved, I ran to him. But he shot me a disgusted look. He hissed, "How could you let him fuck you?"

I shook my head. I didn't. I didn't let him fuck me. I tried to speak but couldn't. Brian turned and started walking away. I reached for him, but he was too far. I tried to follow, but I was paralyzed. Rooted to the spot. I felt someone licking my cock. I looked down and saw the Sap. Then Brian shook his head and disappeared. I started crying, my body racked with sobs. I woke up with the sound of Ethan's laughter in my ears and tears in my eyes. I was really crying, and I couldn't stop. I cried with a desperation I'd never felt before.

Then Brian was sitting in the bed next to me. "Justin?" He looked at me intensely, as though attempting to read me.

"Brian? I thought you'd gone…" I said between sobs.

Then Brian took me into his arms and held me tight, rocking me gently.

"I'm here, Sunshine. I'm not going anywhere."

God, I wanted to believe him.


	18. Did Aliens Invade?

Justin's POV

After the nightmare, Brian held me until I fell back asleep. Of course, Brian, being Brian, spun it a different way. He said that I felt cold, and he just wanted to make sure I was warm enough before he went back to work at the computer. The loft gets chilly, after all, and Brian didn't want me sniffling and sneezing around him. But I knew better.

"So are you just gonna lay around all day or are you gonna help me?"

I had just woken up and was beginning to stir when Brian started taunting me. Curious, I lifted my head. Brian was in the kitchen. Stranger still, he appeared to be cooking. I sat up and stared. Gawked, really.

I laughed. "Brian, what are you doing?"

"…and you say you earned a 1500 on your SATs…did you cheat?" Brian clucked his tongue in disapproval.

I pulled on some sweats and headed down the stairs to get a closer look.

"You appear to be cooking, but that can't be right. Did you get drugs from Anita again?"

I looked around quickly. "You haven't been juggling, have you?"

Brian stuck his tongue in his cheek. "No, smartass. I am completely sober."

"Completely sober?"

I was stunned. I bumped his shoulder and smiled. "Call the presses."

Brian bumped me back and asked, "Is this your way of getting out of helping?"

I clapped my hands together and put on a fake smile. "So what are we making today, Martha?"

"Some stupid chicken thing. Lindsay gave me the recipe."

I sounded out the words slowly. "Lindsay gave you a recipe?"

I felt his forehead. Not feverish. I peered down the front and back of his shirt.

Brian pulled away, looking at me in amusement. "What the hell?"

"I'm looking for marks, from where the alien being entered your body."

"Ha Ha." He threw a few Greek olives in my direction. One hit me right on the forehead.

"Oh you are soooo gonna pay for that Kinney!" I grabbed a spoon that was sitting in what appeared to be mashed potatoes and held it in the air.

Brian, trying not to laugh, did his best to glower at me. "Don't you dare!"

I flicked the spoon, landing a huge dollop on his nose. I burst out laughing. He looked down for a second, and the mashed potatoes slid off onto the floor.

"Oh…I think you put too much milk in those potatoes."

He looked like he was going to explode. When Brian dipped another spoon in the potatoes, I started running. He managed to mashed potato my hair and my left nipple. I got him in the neck, but, then, he caught me in his arms. Soon our laughter turned into soft moans, as he licked the salvo off my nipple, while I licked his neck clean. We had started grinding against each other and kissing passionately when Daphne, having the worst timing known to man, entered the loft.

She shook her head. "Leave it to you two to turn a simple household task into a porno."


	19. Dirty Dancing

Justin's POV

"So are you going to tell me why I'm here?"

"What?" I looked up at Daphne, a little stunned. We'd just finished watching _Dirty Dancing_, _Princess_ _Bride_, and _Grosse Pointe Blank_ while eating the dinner Brian had made. Despite Brian's lack of experience, the meal had been delicious. Was Brian a natural at everything?

Brian had surprised me by informing me that we were going to watch _Dirty Dancing_; he actually owned a copy. He had chuckled, declaring, "I'm gonna laugh my ass off when the star of that OLD movie gives you a hard on. Then maybe I'll leave you to handle it on your own. See how you like them apples."

Seeing Patrick Swayze had, indeed, made me hard, and Brian grinned wickedly for the next 30 minutes teasing me about it. Eventually, Brian lost to his desire. We sent Daphne out for snacks. Then Brian and I laid on his bed, our feet on the floor, as we re-enacted Brian and Michael's memory.

"_Justin, you're hard."_

_I played along. "Brian, what are you doing?" I asked in a shocked but excited voice._

_Brian just smiled, slowly unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans, and pulled my cock out. He rubbed his own obviously erect cock through his jeans for a few minutes as he slowly fisted mine. Then he pulled his cock out and started jerking off. Watching him jerking us both off was SO hot. Soon, he quickened the pace. We came together._

_When Daphne returned, she raised an eyebrow, noticing that we had different clothes on (we had cum all over our other clothes). But she didn't say a word. She just laughed and shook her head._

I smiled, thinking that Michael would be SO pissed if he knew what Brian had done.

Then we watched the other two movies. They were two of Daphne's and my favorites. Brian had fallen asleep during _Grosse Pointe Blank_. He did not share our infatuation with John Cusack. He kept saying that he couldn't understand how we could be crushing on a troll. I smiled, wondering if he had been jealous. Normally, he could write off my TV crushes because he knew he was way hotter than they were. But we weren't drawn to John Cusack's looks. His mannerisms and behavior were just so cute. I think it bothered Brian to know that he couldn't compete. He knew that whatever John Cusack had that attracted Daphne and I was not a quality he possessed.

Now, Brian was sleeping on the couch, and Daphne and I were sitting on the floor.

Daphne broke me out of my reverie. "Brian called me today and said that you needed me."

My whole body tensed as I asked, "Did he tell you why?"

"No."

I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Brian said that it wasn't his place to say what was going on with you, that you'd tell me when you were ready. But he asked if I'd stay at the loft for a week or two."

Incredulously, I asked, "He did?" I was surprised. Brian was uncomfortable sharing his personal space, although he had begrudgingly informed me that he "kind of liked me living at the loft." But I was an exception.

In a firm voice, Daphne replied, "Yes. So are you going to tell me?"

I fidgeted uncomfortably. "There isn't much to tell. I remember little of what happened."

I should have known that that wouldn't stop Daphne from pursuing the subject.

"Well, what do you remember?"

I hesitated. All I wanted was to forget about what had happened and hope no more memories came back. But they'd invaded my dreams. I couldn't avoid them forever. However, telling Daphne would make what had happened real. Really real.

Brian hadn't pushed me to talk, but Daphne would. On top of that, Daphne wouldn't be able to ignore what I told her. She wouldn't be able to just know. She'd want to talk about it a lot, and knowing would color everything she said, everything she did around me. Brian was so good at pretending. With Brian, I could forget, for a little while.

Even worse, Daphne would want to castrate Ethan. She'd always despised him, so, when she heard that I had been with Ethan that evening, she'd assume that he was involved. He probably was. I couldn't remember yet. But Daphne would assume that he had been and would want to pummel him into oblivion.

Telling Daphne would be so complicated. Of course, there were benefits. I had hated acting strong all day. Part of me just wanted to crumble. But I couldn't do that in front of Brian. I didn't want Brian to see me as weak. Brian had already seen me helpless and prone. Abused. Violated. Part of me had wanted to collapse into Brian's arms when he'd found me at that crackhouse. Cry until there were no more tears. Ask him to make me feel safe again. Beautiful again. But I was so scared of losing Brian. I was desperately afraid that what happened would make Brian want me less. Or make him not want me at all. That he'd blame me and stop loving me. So I avoided talking about it. Tried not to act different. Maybe Brian knew that. Maybe that was why he'd invited Daphne to stay.

I decided. I took a deep breath and told Daphne everything I could remember. Little did I know, Brian had woken up, but didn't want to interrupt. So he continued to lie there, not making a sound.


	20. Uncontrollable Innuendoes

Daphne's POV

Justin had recounted the events he could remember from last night and this morning, and, now, he was telling me about the nightmare he'd had earlier.

He shuddered. "It felt so real, Daph, like the Sap was really licking my cock."

"Do you think that that part of the dream is related to yesterday (like a memory) or does it represent what happened at the Sap's party?"

He shook his head and sighed. "I don't know. That was a year ago. You'd think I'd be past it, but maybe I'm not."

"Justin! You were drugged and nearly gang raped…"

Brian jumped up from where he was lying on the couch. "WHAT??"

Uh oh.

Justin buried his head in his hands.

"You were nearly gang raped at that party? Why the fuck didn't you tell me?"

I stood up and put my hand on his chest. "Okay, slow down, Tex. Justin. Don't worry. Brian's not really angry, well, not at you. He's just doing the protective boyfriend thing. You know that, right?"

Brian, realizing what he'd done, looked apologetic.

Justin lifted his head up, glancing at Brian and, then, at me. He replied softly, "Yeah, I know."

I breathed a sigh of relief. "Brian and I are going to have a little chat."

Pointing at Brian, I said, "You. Outside."

When we were in the hall, I crossed my arms and snapped, "What the hell were you thinking? Yelling like that!"

Brian looked at the floor. "I know. _I know_. Fuck. I just…when you said, well, what happened…I lost it."

My anger replaced with sympathy, I patted his arm.

"Why? Why didn't he tell me?"

Brian's eyes were filled with confusion.

I retorted sharply, "Your reaction should be answer enough!"

He looked down.

I sighed and continued more softly, "Look. You told him that he shouldn't work at Babylon. That he shouldn't go to that party. That he should just accept another loan from you. So how the hell was he going to tell you that the unthinkable almost happened because he didn't listen? He really blamed himself, and he thought that you'd blame him, too. He felt stupid for going and (in his mind) allowing himself to be drugged, weak for having to fight so hard to get free, and filthy for putting himself in a position where he could be pawed and nearly raped by disgusting men. You already knew he'd let the Sap blow him for a better spot, and you weren't exactly kind and understanding about that. He took that stupid job so that he could be independent and in control. Ultimately, the opposite happened. He felt like he'd worked so hard only to fail, and he knows how you view failure and weakness."

Brian rubbed his face roughly. "Fuck!" He sighed. "Okay. Can you give us a little time? Maybe go to Starbucks and get some Komodo Dragon. That's Justin's favorite. I'll try to remove the foot I put in my mouth, apparently, many, many times."

"Sure. But if it looks like it's getting sexual, call or text me. I've seen enough of your cock to last a lifetime."

Brian scoffed, "Now that's just crazy!"

I crossed my arms and tried to glare at him.

He just laughed. "Okay. Okay. I'll warn you if we start getting it on."

I went back in, grabbed my purse, smiled at Justin, and left.

Brian's POV

Justin's voice small, a little desperate, he asked, "Where'd Daph go?"

"Oh. Just to get something she forgot earlier. She'll be back soon."

He breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh. Ok."

It killed me that being alone with me made him nervous. Fuck! Were we back to the time just after the bashing? Would he flinch if I touched him? I took a deep breath and walked over to where Justin was (now) sitting on the couch. I kneeled on the floor in front of him. I leaned toward him, touching my forehead to his, and waited to see how he would react. When he sat there calmly, his breathing even, I nudged his nose with mine and kissed him gently on the lips. Then I sat back.

"Look. When you started working at Babylon, I didn't want to tell you what to do, but I did want to give you what I thought was a better option. I realize now (sigh) that I didn't give you the best option, one that would help you achieve what you really wanted."

"Do you actually know what that was?"

"Control over your life. Independence."

Justin looked shocked. Thank you, Daphne!

"My miscalculation is even more clear now after our time apart. After you left, I know Mikey talked shit to you because I had been paying for your tuition and because you had been living with me. Of course, I didn't tell him that I kept paying your tuition even after. Didn't want to fuel the fire. It never occurred to me that Mikey or anyone else would view you as my boy toy. I mean, I've helped nearly every one of our friends financially. How was this different? And you are, and have always been, your own man, always doing your own thing."

Justin swallowed hard. "Unfortunately, yes."

"Don't do that. Making your own choices is not a bad thing. Sometimes, you'll be wrong, but, if you only ever listen to other people, you'll end up totally miserable. Isn't that what you realized when you left Ian? That you'd been listening to all our friends and Mother Taylor too much? That you'd stopped trusting your own instincts? Do you regret coming back to me?"

Justin squeezed my hand. "No. Of course not."

I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding. "Good. Talking to Daphne also made me realize that I was kind of an ass when you and I spoke about the job itself. The things I said were…"

Justin sighed. "You don't have to do this. We both know that sharing isn't your strong suit."

We both smiled.

"I want to do this. I need to try."

Justin gave me an intense look and said, "Okay" softly.

"I was…"

I closed my eyes tight for a moment, remembering what the rape counselor had said: "I can understand why you wouldn't want to share your experiences with your partner. Doing so would make you feel vulnerable, and you're probably afraid of losing your partner's respect. But don't you see that that is exactly how your partner feels?"

I then looked at Justin again and admitted, "I was jealous. I didn't want every gay man in Pittsburgh watching you dance half-naked on the bar."

Justin smiled. "How Puritanical of you."

I couldn't help but smile back. "Ridiculous, I know. Why do you think I didn't just tell you that? Well, other than the fact that I didn't want you to know exactly how much I cared. That I felt…fuck!...vulnerable…"

Justin looked astonished.

"…You were (and are) my…my Kryptonite. But you also make me stronger somehow (sigh) In addition to being jealous, I was worried, frustrated, and angry. You were, are, worth so much more than the hundred or so you made a night. I couldn't understand why you were so hellbent on paying your own tuition. I didn't even think about what I would have done in your place. I was so busy being afraid that you'd lose your innocence."

Justin laughed. "What, more than I already had at that point?"

I bumped him with my shoulder.

"No, not like that. I mean, I was afraid that you'd lose the light in your eyes. No matter how many three-ways we'd had by then, you'd never lost that light."

I put my head in my hands and, then, looked up at Justin nervously. "That's it. I'm done. I have officially become a lesbian."

Justin didn't laugh. He just stared at me. Then he leaned his forehead against mine. I put my hand on the back of his neck, gently running my thumb along his spine.

After a few minutes, I cleared my throat and blinked a few times.

Then I said, "Even though you were a go-go dancer, no one had the right to touch you without your permission. No one had the right to drug you and try to force you to participate in an orgy. Hell, you should be able to walk around naked all day and all night, wiggling your tight little ass, without being touched inappropriately."

Justin burst out laughing. "Wiggling my tight little ass?"

"You wiggle your tight little ass constantly. Admit it."

He crossed his arms and harrumphed. "I admit nothing."

I smiled. "Whatever. That's why we have hands."

"My wiggling ass is why we have hands?"

"Twat. Yes, your wiggling ass is why we have hands. But not exclusively for grabbing it or fucking it or kissing it. You have the right to be hotter than hell, walking amongst the trolls, exuding sex, without being manhandled, and everyone else has the right to jerk off (or whatever girls do) with their aforementioned hands, if your hotness has driven them crazy."

"Well, I have been known to set off waves of mass masturbation when I walk down the street."

I put my tongue in my cheek. "Really?"

Justin nodded his head seriously and, then, started giggling.

"On top of that…let that one slide, would you?...Fuck! I can't stop talking in sexual innuendoes."

Justin was laughing so hard, he cried.

I cleared my throat. "Anyhow…anyone can be subdued. With drugs and especially with more than one person attacking, anyone can be made vulnerable. No one is immune. I'm actually very proud of you."

"For going to a fuck party and being surprised when the smelly middle-aged men tried to rape me?"

Trying to control my anger at his self-deprecation, I replied firmly, "No. You were drugged and several men tried to hold you down and fuck you, but you fought back and managed to get the hell out of there. You always do that."

In a voice full of self-mockery, he asked, "What?"

"Survive terrible experiences and somehow emerge stronger."

He responded in almost a whisper, "I don't feel very strong."

I pulled Justin into my arms and rubbed his back.

"At your weakest, you're the strongest person I know."


	21. I Need You to Want Me

Brian's POV

The morning after Daphne arrived at the loft, she was "kind enough" to share her culinary skills with Justin and me. Runny scrambled eggs, soggy bacon, and burnt toast. She'd better marry a chef. After breakfast, I was sitting at the computer working when I noticed Justin putting on his coat.

"Uh, Sunshine, where do you think you're going?"

Justin laughed. "Work."

I shook my head. "Oh, no. Hell no! What if the fiddler shows up to shoot the breeze? Or the other attacker? You don't even know what he looks like. He could do serious damage to you before you even knew you were in danger."

I didn't even realize it, but I had been clenching and unclenching my fists as I was speaking. Just the thought of that fuckhead…sent me over the edge. Christ, I wanted to snap his neck! No. No. Too fast. Strangling, yes, strangling him would be nice. Justin's voice pulled me out of my murderous reverie.

"Brian, I can't miss work, and I don't want to live in fear."

I couldn't argue with that. I sighed.

"Fine. Fine! But if you go, I go."

"You're going to sit in the diner all day?"

I smirked at Justin. "Yup."

"Deb will think it's weird."

"I'll bring work."

Daphne, who had been in the bathroom showering and dressing, emerged and piped up, "I'm coming, too."

Justin laughed. "You're both nuts. But you're both adorable when being insanely overprotective."

"Gee thanks, Sunshine"

"Justin, I think I'd better work some magic on your face before we go anywhere. You're still bruised up pretty bad. Unless you want Deb to grill you."

Justin wrinkled his nose. "No. I really don't."

Daphne took him by the hand and dragged him into the bathroom.

*******

"Oh garcon? Garcon? More coffee please."

Justin rolled his eyes, but smiled. As he filled Daphne's cup, he said, "I can't believe you've been here for four hours guarding me."

"Oh it hasn't been too bad. I got some work done, and I got Daphne to tell me a few of your secrets. Not that it was too hard. She just loves to gossip."

"Indeed, she does. So what did your Deep Throat share with you?"

"Not the secret to giving great head, though you'd expect that, given her name."

Daphne and Justin laughed.

"No. She just told me about one of your earliest kinks."

"Oh God! What?"

"Well, I hear that you like to get naked and cover yourself in Vaseline, from head to foot."

Justin blushed. "Christ, I was four! Daphne, how could you tell him that story?"

Daphne shrugged. "I was bored."

Justin shoved her in retaliation.

"Sunshine, if you want, we could take a stroll down memory lane later, though I'd need to buy more Vaseline. I don't have nearly enough."

"You _would_ be into that!"

"Don't judge me! I am merely open to trying new things…I think I'd enjoy rubbing Vaseline all over you…your cock, your ass, your thighs, your chest..."

"Only you could turn a silly childhood story my mother shares at picnics into a sexual fantasy."

"What can I say? I'm gifted."

********

…two days later…

Five days had passed since I'd found Justin at that white house. I was starting to get antsy. So far, Carl had no information to share, and I hadn't gone this long without sex since I was a teenager. But I needed Justin to reinitiate our sex life on his own terms and in his own time. With Daphne here, I could easily have taken a quick trip to Woody's or Babylon, but the thought of being with anyone but Justin after what had happened, especially since we weren't fucking, made me a little nauseous.

It was morning. Justin and Daphne were still sleeping, Justin in bed, Daphne on the couch. I set the coffee abrewing and decided to call Carl again. I still hadn't informed him about the near-gang rape Justin suffered last year.

*******

"I think you'd better find out what the Sap was doing when Justin was raped and beaten."

"The Sap?"

"Yea, he owns Babylon. Apparently, he and his buddies tried to gang rape Justin back when Justin worked there. Justin never reported it. He just quit after that night."

"Why didn't either of you mention it sooner?"

"I just found out, and it was by accident. Justin didn't mention it for pretty obvious reasons."

"How did it come up?"

"He had a nightmare about Ethan and the Sap sexually assaulting him. He and a friend who already knew about the previous incident were talking about it. I happened to overhear them."

"Shoot, any one of Justin's previous attackers could have been involved. Could he ID any of them?"

"I don't know. It was a year ago, and he'd been drugged. I don't think it was like the incident a couple days ago though. He was still mostly conscious, just very, very out of it. He managed to get away and come home. But we could come down to the station. Maybe he does remember something or someone from that night."

"I think it's worth asking him and showing him some mug shots."

"Ok. So did you find anything at that house?" I paused, trying to control my rage. "Have you questioned (pause) Ethan?" I could barely say his name. Every time I thought about the fiddler, I had the urge to kill him, with my bare hands, and slowly.

"Well, there was more semen on the mattress. We're testing it, but there were many, many samples, not necessarily from that night. I'm guessing that that mattress had been used for a similar purpose before. We got shots of the footprints. We are still working on a warrant to search Ethan's apartment. Son of a bitch has some high-ranking friends."

"You've got to be fucking kidding me!"

"I wish I were. Anyway, once we get a warrant, we can check the tread on his shoes. We are also trying to get a warrant for a DNA sample to compare with the semen the doctor collected and the semen samples we took from the mattress."

I closed my eyes and rubbed my forehead hard. "This has to go to trial. After everything Justin went through, not just that night but the morning after at the station and the hospital…"

"We'll get them. It's just a matter of time. We are also trying to track down the store the ring was purchased from. I have a jeweler friend whose helping us. Apparently, the design is unique. That should help. There's a good chance that we can connect Ethan to that house through that purchase. We also identified the drug Justin was given. It's a good thing you mentioned the Sap. A poor college student would have trouble getting ahold of it, but a club owner? That'd be a snap. Maybe we can find the dealer and get him to talk."

"Ok. Well, I'll bring Justin down to the station later today or tomorrow."

"Call me before you do. I want to make sure I'll be here."

"Will do. Thanks, Carl."

"Just doing my job."

"Thanks anyway."

*******

After I hung up the phone, I decided to solve my other problem. Just watching Justin sleep was making me hornier than hell. Soon I was in the shower jerking off. I was close. I threw my head back and placed a hand on the wall to prevent myself from falling. It had been so long (for me, five days without sex and three days without an orgasm was long) that the impending orgasm was making my legs wobbly. I came, biting back a moan (I didn't want to wake Justin). Unfortunately, he was already awake, as I learned when I turned around and saw two very angry blue eyes glaring at me. Justin was standing in the bathroom, arms folded on his chest.

"What the hell were you doing?"

Trying to lighten the mood, I laughed and answered, "Again…such questions make me wonder about the accuracy of your SAT score. It's called jerking off. I've even seen you do it."

"I know what you were doing. I meant why were you doing it."

"Ah. I was getting a little desperate. It's been three days since I've had an orgasm."

With that, ice cold blue eyes became rippling pools.

In a shaky voice Justin said, "Look, I know that we haven't…but you could have gone out for a while, fucked some trick."

I was getting annoyed. "If I had wanted to do that, I would have."

Justin was pissed again. "So you'd rather jerk off in the shower?"

I didn't respond. I was hoping to avoid telling him that I didn't want to trick, not for a while anyway.

Justin's mood was changing direction as fast as a weather vane on a blustery day. Now he was sad again.

Quietly, he said, "I can see why you don't want me, but why the hell aren't you tricking? I don't need your fucking pity!"

Oh, pissed again.

I turned off the shower quickly and stomped over to him, well, as much as one can stomp in bare feet. I had had a raging hard-on, almost constantly, for two days, and the little twat had the balls to accuse me of not wanting to fuck him. I had the urge to pound his ass right then and there, but…I needed to be patient.

"You don't think I want you? Fuck, Justin! For four days straight, I've woken up with a painful erection after dreaming about fucking you. I wake up holding your warm naked body against mine…and I have to run in here to take a cold shower before I do something I shouldn't."

Justin put his hands on his hips. "Like what?"

"Like start sucking your cock or wake you up so I can fuck you into the mattress!"

"What the fuck is so wrong with that? I'm not a child. I'm not ill or broken."

"That's not how I see you. I just (sigh) I just wanted to wait for you to want me. As much as you accuse me of not wanting you, did it ever occur to you that I might be…"

"Be what?"

The rape counselor had said that I needed to make myself vulnerable because that's how Justin was feeling…would be feeling for a while…but it made me extremely uncomfortable.

More softly, I continued, "That I might be…hurt that you don't seem to want me anymore?"

Justin looked stunned.

"…You love sex almost as much as I do. Why are you suddenly perfectly content going without? I don't want you to be okay with me fucking you or whatever. I want you to want me to fuck you, like you used to. I know it's probably temporary. So I've been waiting. Not very patiently though…hence the jerking off."

Incredulously, Justin asked, "You think I don't want you?"

I let out a puff of air. "Well…you haven't initiated anything…and you've never really been shy about getting your needs met. Maybe a little that first night, but not since."

Justin laughed. "I've been waiting for you to make the first move."

"Why?"

Justin looked uncomfortable. He started playing with his fingers and looking at the ceramic tile. "I…"

Suddenly, he snapped his head up, his eyes blazing.

"Maybe because I'm revolting. I look in the mirror, and I see myself as I was the night of your bowling competition."

Now I was confused. "What?"

"Knowing I'd been with Ethan, you couldn't stand to be inside me or even naked with me. How could you possibly stand it now? I don't remember much, but I clearly remember being fucked by someone who wasn't you. Ethan was probably the one who fucked me. I have his marks all over my body, never letting you or I forget, for one second, that he had me. Even after the bruises are gone, I might still feel him inside me. Before, there was only you. I always felt you inside me. Only you."

His voice broke, and he started sobbing.

"But Ethan took that from me. Now there's only him. All I feel is him…all I see in the mirror is him. FUCK!"

Justin crumbled, sitting with his knees up, his arms around his legs, sobbing.

"He's inside me, all over me. Sometimes, I can't bear to look at you. I feel so guilty."

I was seriously about to lose my shit. "What the fuck for?"

He spoke barely above a whisper. "Because I went to Ethan's. Because I ate the food he'd made, which was probably drugged. I was awake at some point that night. But it still happened. So I must not…not have fought back hard enough."

He trailed off and put his head down on his knees.

A moment later, he lifted his head. His eyes were dark with rage. He yelled, his voice growing progressively louder, "Maybe I didn't fight back at all! I was drugged at the Sap's party, too, and I managed to get away from several attackers. Why the hell wasn't I strong enough this time? Huh? Why? Michael was right. I am worthless. You should have left me to die."

I'd been maintaining control, but just barely. However, with that last statement, I lost it.

"DON'T YOU EVER FUCKING SAY THAT!"

I punched one of the glass walls surrounding the shower, shattering it.

I was crying uncontrollably. I pulled Justin up and held him by the shoulders. He was stunned.

"Don't you know that if you died, you'd take me with you? I was a fucking zombie the night Hobbs attacked you. I just sat there. Remembering every word, every moment. Willing you to live. After you made it through surgery, I was so afraid that I'd never see you smile again that I spent the next month drunk. FUCK!"

I let Justin go and spun around, wiping away tears, trying to regain control. Once I had stopped crying, I turned back around. Justin had a concerned look on his face. He seemed to want to do or say something, but he was hesitant.

I put my left hand on his cheek, leaving my right, my bloody hand, hanging at my side. I caressed his face gently.

Softly, I said, "I can't help but want you. Don't you get that yet? I tried not to…but I have never been able to stop. Never. The night you mentioned…the night of the bowling competition…I did want to be inside you. So much that it hurt. But I was so angry. You made the rules, and you broke every fucking one. For a ridiculous pompous ass. He wasn't even hot."

Justin's eyes filled with tears.

I shook my head to dispel the bad memories.

"But that doesn't matter anymore. Now is all that matters."

I put my bloody hand on Justin's right cheek and gently brushed my lips against his.

Justin whispered, "Make me yours again. Please."

A heartbeat later, I was kissing Justin with a desperation that scared me.


	22. Angel

A/N: Brian and Justin decide to give dominance and submission a try. I completely understand if this isn't your cup of tea, but if you hang in there, I think you'll be pleased with where they end up, not just at the end of this chapter, but in general.

As I devoured Justin's lips, his tongue, and his mouth, his plea was ringing in my ears. I broke our kiss and looked at him, trying to figure out how I could give him what he wanted. All at once, the solution came to me. But I hesitated. Would it even work? Would there be unexpected and unwanted consequences? Justin looked back at me, so desperate, yet so trusting. A second was all it took. I had no choice.

This was it for me. A turning point of mammoth proportions. I was going to claim Justin a second time, but this time, _this time_, completely. It would be just he and I, and it would be for always. When I paused to think about the possible repercussions, I wondered if I'd gone insane from blood loss. I knew that most would laugh, scoff, or disapprove, but they hadn't seen Justin's sad eyes or heard his small voice begging me to make him mine again.

Once more, I kissed Justin passionately. Then I pulled back and smiled shyly. I don't often use this smile, but I have been known to do so with Justin from time to time.

"I'd better bandage this hand. I don't want to get you all bloody. Could you ask Daphne to make herself scarce for a few hours?"

Justin just nodded, but, before he left the bathroom, he smiled. It was a muted smile, but it reached his eyes. He'd put himself in my hands and trusted me to make it better. Fucking Christ. I ran my undamaged hand through my hair a few times and sighed before setting about cleaning and bandaging my other one.

I could do this. Justin needed me more than ever, and, as much as I hated to admit it, I needed him just as desperately. I needed him to be himself again. I needed him to be happy and secure, and if I had any say about it, he would be.

I knew Justin. While he'd been treated well by his family for most of his childhood, his father had still been somewhat distant, somewhat absent. Craig had probably known Justin was gay before Justin did. This sneaking suspicion must have grown at pace with the distance between them. When Craig could no longer pretend that he had a straight son, all hell broke loose, and Craig almost broke Justin. If I hadn't been around, he probably would have. To say that Justin had daddy issues was the understatement of the year.

I'd always declared, to anyone who would listen, that sorry was bullshit, but I truly regretted the way I had treated Justin. I'd had my good moments, certainly the prom and the first couple of months after Justin left the hospital, but, looking back on our time together (and apart), I could honestly say that I regretted most of my behavior. Justin understood me like no one else, and that scared the shit out of me. All he had ever wanted was for me to acknowledge that connection between us and be honest about my feelings, if not with everyone else, at least with him. I'd come close a few times, but I'd always balked at the last moment. I was so afraid to give him the power to hurt me. Both Justin's departure and the rape were wake-up calls. When Justin left, I realized that whether or not I told Justin how I felt, he still had the power to hurt me. Afterward, I couldn't hide my depression. Everyone knew that I missed him so much that I was falling apart. I still pretend otherwise, but no one buys it. Not even Mikey. My reticence had not protected me. But it had cost me Justin. The rape reminded me of how I'd felt after the bashing, reawakening the helplessness, the guilt, the fear of losing Justin for good, and the desire to protect him from all future harm. Only this time, everything was much worse.

I needed to make Justin feel as though he were truly mine, mind, body, and soul. He'd struggled with self-esteem issues off and on for the last couple years, but, now, his self-esteem was lower than ever. He needed to borrow some strength from me. My self-esteem wasn't the greatest, but few knew that. I was an ad man, so I knew that presentation was everything. If you presented yourself as strong and self-assured, everyone would believe that you were, eventually, even you. Justin's love and admiration for me made my self-assurance, such as it was, even more potent. Right now, Justin couldn't see that he was beautiful and worthy of love. But under the right circumstances, he'd be able to see himself through my eyes.

I walked into the bedroom to find Justin sitting on the bed with his legs crossed. No sign of Daphne.

"Did Daphne leave?"

"Yeah. She said she'd be back for dinner."

"Perfect."

I kneeled in front of Justin, took his hand in mine, and looked into his eyes.

"Justin." I paused. Justin seemed puzzled. I suppose he was expecting me to rip his shorts off and fuck the shit out of him. Given our past, that wasn't a bad guess. But not this time. Straight fucking wouldn't help him. "Do you trust me?"

He exhaled and smiled again. He seemed relieved. Was he afraid that I'd reject him?

"Yes. More than anyone."

Fuck. What had I ever done to earn his unconditional love and trust? Justin had been a little less trusting of me during our separation, but that wasn't the norm.

I held his hand a little tighter and, then, said, "I was hoping we could expand our sexual horizons."

He furrowed his brow in confusion. "How?"

I looked down for a moment and took a deep breath before answering. "Into dominance and submission."

"You mean like tying me up?"

I laughed. "Well, there's a lot more to it than that, but yeah."

I knew that this was a risky move after what Justin had recently been through, but, sometimes, you have to fight fire with fire. I was sure it would pay off, that, together, we could exorcize more demons.

Justin held my gaze for a few moments, but, then, he took a deep breath and replied, "Okay."

He looked nervous, but determined.

I stood up and lay down on the bed, never letting go of Justin's hand. I pulled him into my arms and kissed his forehead.

"We'd need to set ground rules, but, by all accounts, this will make us feel closer than ever."

"Really?" He actually sounded excited. I couldn't help but smile.

"Yeah."

"So what kind of ground rules?"

"Well, I need to know what your deal breakers are."

"Deal breakers?"

"Things you absolutely positively never want to try, not even with someone you trust."

"Oh. Okay."

"But we can talk about that later. We'll have to do some research and see what the possibilities are first. However, we do need to decide if this is going to bleed into real life or stay in the bedroom. I'd vote for option 1. That might seem overwhelming at first. It does require a stronger commitment, not just to "our play" but to each other. Such relationships are generally long term, though they can, of course, be broken or modified."

"Modified?"

"Yeah…say if we wanted to switch roles periodically."

Justin looked at me as though I'd morphed into a Martian. I couldn't blame him. I'd questioned my sanity more than once in the 20 minutes since the idea came to me. "You'd actually be okay with our switching roles?"

I looked into Justin's eyes and said with absolute certainty, "Yes."

Justin was shocked to say the least. I held him tighter.

"So what do you mean by a stronger commitment?"

I took yet another deep breath. "Well, we could agree to only trick when the other isn't present or only when we are together, like threesomes or foursomes, or we could agree to stop altogether. For the time being anyway. We can always change the rules later. If we agree to some form of tricking, we'd need to set boundaries…you know, what we can do, what the trick can do…"

Justin's eyes widened. "Did you just offer to stop tricking?"

"I think I did."

"Surreal."

I laughed. "Indeed. We just need to be honest with ourselves and with each other. Ask for what we really want, not just what we think we can get."

Justin was silent for a few minutes. I assumed he was deciding what he wanted. I was lost in thought, too. I remembered how jealous I'd been in the alley the night of Justin's second prom and the next night at Babylon. Christ, he'd looked beautiful (and hot) that night. Everyone was dying to fuck him. I wanted to own Justin as much as he wanted me to own him, and I was willing to give up some control to get what I wanted.

Finally, in a small voice, Justin said, "Well…if you wouldn't mind, I'd like it just to be us, at least, for a while."

I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding. That's the answer I was hoping for. I think I need to change my name and move to a new city. No one would recognize this new me.

"So we're going for the first option?"

Justin paused briefly but, then, answered "Yes" and smiled.

"Will I have to call you 'Master' all the time?"

"Well, whenever we're alone. What do you want your sub name to be?"

Justin wrinkled his nose. He was so fucking adorable when he did that. "Mmm…I don't know. What do you think?"

"How about 'Angel?'"

Justin asked a little shyly, "Angel?"

"Yeah. The creamy white skin and blond hair just scream it."

Justin blushed. "Okay. If you think it fits."

I smiled. "Angel it is."

******

Justin's POV

"So, let's start out real slow."

"Okay."

I was filled with so many emotions. I was a little nervous, but I trusted Brian completely. Oddly enough, I also felt relieved. I was desperate to feel different, like I used to, but I had no idea what to do to make that happen. Fortunately, Brian always seemed to know what I needed, how to make me feel better. Before the Rage party, he was always there to banish my nightmares and massage my gimp hand. He even helped me feel comfortable in my own skin again after the bashing. Surely, he could do it this time, too. On top of all that, I was incredibly horny. The past three days had been long for me as well. No matter what the circumstance, Brian's mere presence was an aphrodisiac for me.

Brian's tone was firm, reminding me of our first night together. He was truly a natural dom. "If you speak, call me Master. Don't cum until I give you permission. When you reach your limit, ask and I'll give you what you need. Okay?"

I replied firmly but softly, "Yes, Master."

Brian swallowed hard. I bit my lip to prevent myself from smiling.

"Angel, I want you to kneel on the bed for me. On the front right near the edge."

Fuck, I loved the name he gave me. Just hearing it turned me on.

"Good. Now place your hands behind your back."

Brian stood as close to me as he could without touching and reached around my waist, fastening my hands behind my back with fuzzy handcuffs. Then he brushed my hair off my forehead and slowly drew his hand down my face, gently caressing my cheek. He was so close and he smelled so good that I couldn't help but lean into his hand.

"You're doing real good, Angel."

I looked down and smiled.

Brian kneeled on the floor. His mouth was right near the head of my cock. He drew his fingers down my thighs, his touch feather light. "Angel, spread your legs for me."

His voice, so soft, his command, and his kneeling in front of me, my cock so close to his mouth, together, warmed my entire body, and my half-erect cock swelled. I spread my legs as he asked and licked my lips.

Brian's eyes were dancing.

Next, he leaned down slowly, as though he were going to take my cock into his mouth. In anticipation, my breath grew ragged, and precum bubbled out of my slit. But instead, Brian simply blew on the head softly. His breath on my moist cock felt cool, sending a chill rippling through my body from my cock outward. I couldn't stifle a whimper.

Brian looked up at me and whispered, "Angel, you know I'll always give you what you need, don't you?"

I answered, "Yes, Master." I tried to keep my voice steady, but it cracked on Master.

Brian stood up, nudged my nose gently with his, and looked deep into my eyes and then at my lips.

He whispered, "Your lips are so beautiful, Angel. Soft and plump…so kissable."

He was so close, and his breath was so warm on my lips that my cock twitched and my heart raced. He traced the lower edge of my bottom lip with the tip of his tongue slowly, so slowly, and, then, bit my lip hard, but not hard enough to draw blood. I moaned loudly.

My moan was partially muffled, as Brian thrust his tongue into my mouth, kissing me passionately. I leaned forward, trying to drive his tongue deeper. A few moments later, he pulled away, but slowly, giving me a chance to balance myself on the bed.

Brian's huge cock was fully erect, and a drop of precum rolled down the head. Unconsciously, I licked my lips. I wanted to lick it off him so badly. I needed to taste him. I whimpered a little as the drop fell to the floor.

Brian tilted my head up, lifting my chin with a finger. He looked at me intensely and asked, "Angel, do you want to suck my cock?"

I nodded my head furiously. "Ye-yes, Master."

"If I let you, what would you do?"

I swallowed hard and whispered, "I'd dip the tip of my tongue into your slit, tasting you. I want to taste you so badly. Then I'd lick and suck the head of your cock to make sure I'd swallowed every drop."

Brian closed his eyes for a moment and exhaled slowly.

"Next I'd take your cock into my mouth, deepthroating you, sucking you hard and fast until you came. Finally, I'd lick your cock from shaft to tip, to be sure I'd tasted all of you."

Brian bit back a moan.

"May I, Master?"

Brian was so hard that his cock was purple, leaking, and twitching. He directed me to sit on my legs and placed his cock against my lips. I wanted so much to start, but he hadn't given me permission, so I waited. Breathlessly.

Brian smiled and kissed my forehead. "Good boy. Go ahead, Angel. Suck me off."

I didn't need to be told twice. I immediately set about doing what I said I would do. It didn't take long. A few minutes later, Brian was cumming hard and moaning loudly.

Afterward, I smiled brightly. Brian grinned and said, "Angel, as I said, your lips, your mouth, perfection. No one has ever pleased me more in that regard."

I blushed.

By now, my cock was covered entirely in precum, purple, and throbbing. I was so desperate to cum that my cock hurt, and my shoulders and thighs were starting to get sore from holding this position so long.

I looked up at Brian and begged, "Please, Master."

Brian asked in a teasing voice, "Please what, Angel? Tell me what you need."

"I need you inside me, Master."

He kissed my cheek and whispered in my ear, "Soon, Angel. Very soon."

He walked around to the side of the bed and kneeled behind me. He whispered in my ear again, "Angel, can I trust you to do exactly as I say?"

"Yes, Master."

"I'm going to uncuff you, but you aren't to touch yourself or me or rub your cock against anything, not unless I give you permission. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Master."

"If you're naughty, I'll have to punish you. If you misbehave, I won't fuck you for a week."

I couldn't help but gasp.

Brian chuckled and asked, "You'll be a good boy?"

"Yes, Master."

"Okay."

Brian uncuffed me and pulled me to a standing position. My legs were a little wobbly, so I was glad for the support. He directed me to kneel on the white bear rug at the foot of the bed. Then he kneeled behind me and started licking, sucking, and nibbling on my earlobe. He moved down to my neck, sucking the spot where it met my shoulder. I wanted to cum so badly that I was trembling. He pushed a lubed finger inside me as his mouth traveled to the back of my neck, licking and sucking. A minute later, he added a second lubed finger and then a third, scissoring them. At the same time, he was sucking on the back of my neck. That's the most sensitive spot, so his mouth was sending shivers down my spine, and I unconsciously arched my back, fucking the air. He pulled his fingers out. I whimpered at the loss.

Brian must have opened the condom before our play began because without warning, he thrust inside me, burying himself to the hilt. I gasped. He wrapped one arm around my waist and the other around my neck and growled, "Mine" as he rotated his hips.

I moaned loudly.

"My cock was here first, the first to fuck your tight little ass. Do you remember that night, Angel?"

"Ye-yes, Master. I could never forget."

"The very first time, I fucked you while you lay on your back, looking into my eyes and calling out my name."

Brian pulled almost all the way out and then thrust back into me hard.

"Then I flipped you over, put you on your hands and knees, and fucked you again as we held hands, fingers entwined."

He punctuated that sentence with another hard thrust.

"After you sucked me off, kneeling on the floor as I leaned against a pillar, I lifted you into my arms, turned around and fucked you against it."

Another hard thrust.

"Then, I bent you over the couch and fucked you into unconsciousness. Do you remember that, Angel?"

Another hard thrust.

I moaned.

"God, yes, Master. I awoke a few minutes later. I felt like I was floating."

"The next morning, after I washed your beautiful body, I fucked you against the shower wall."

Another hard thrust.

"From that first night, this tight little ass was all mine. You felt me long after that night, didn't you?"

"Yes, Master."

"You never wanted anyone else inside you, did you, Angel?"

Unbidden tears sprang to my eyes, as I answered, "No, Master. I only ever wanted you inside me. Only you."

Brian's voice was soft now. "Do you feel me inside you?"

"Yes, Master."

"Do you remember what it felt like our first time, your first time?"

"Yes, Master."

He began thrusting in and out, slow and steady, nuzzled my neck, and whispered, "No one can take what isn't freely given, Angel. And no one could take from you what was no longer yours to give. You were always mine. From that first night to this, you've been mine, and you always will be."

He angled his hips and whispered "Cum for me, Angel," as he thrust inside me hard, hitting my prostate.

I let out a guttural moan and came harder than I have since my first time. Brian started cumming before my orgasm had finished ripping through my body.

Then Brian pulled out, ditched the condom, and turned me into his arms, holding me tight. I'm not sure why, but I started sobbing uncontrollably. He whispered, "You're everything to me, Angel." Then he rubbed my back and nuzzled my neck until my tears stopped flowing.

He carried me into the bed and directed me to lie on my stomach. Then he bent down beside me and started massaging my shoulders with oil. Somehow, he knew that my shoulders were sore. Brian really did know how to take care of me.


	23. Raw

Brian's POV

Justin had been sleeping for a few hours. In that time, I'd managed to get the shower wall replaced, though it took a hefty tip to get it done so quickly, and I made a run to the sex toy shop. I'd even prepared lunch. I'm normally not the type to cook, but part of the D/s lifestyle, at least in the beginning, involves taking care of all of the sub's needs, physical, emotional, and sexual. Justin needed to learn to give up control completely and to trust me to give him what he needed. It was part of the early bonding process. Theoretically, Justin would find that he enjoyed letting go of all his worries and receiving all the attention I was prepared to lavish on him. On top of all that, spending so much time together engaged in mundane activities would require a lot of physical contact. Everything would be partly sexual. That would further solidify our bond and require Justin to control himself as I directed, all the while reinforcing that I would give him the most pleasure he'd ever experienced if he were only obedient and patient.

I brought a plate to the bedroom and set it on one of the end tables. I pulled the duvet off Justin and tossed it on the floor. He was lying on his back. His cock was partially erect, and his legs were spread a bit. Sleeping like that, he looked innocent and wanton at the same time. I took a deep breath, trying to slow my heart rate and will my cock to soften. When I had, I bent down and opened my toy trunk. I took out some cotton rope and bound Justin's hands and feet loosely, tying the rope to the bed legs. Then, I lay on the bed between his thighs and licked the underside of his cock. I licked around the head and, then, began sucking on it. I continued to do so until I heard Justin moaning softly. I looked up. He was still asleep. I took his entire cock in my mouth and began sucking on it hard, drawing it in and out of my mouth slowly. Justin moaned louder. When I swallowed around his cock, his eyes shot open. I pulled his cock out of my mouth and smiled.

"Afternoon, Angel."

He blinked a few times and, then, smiled back warmly. "Afternoon, Master."

He actually purred when he said "Master." I closed my eyes and swallowed hard, trying desperately to get control over my body. Every time he called me that, I felt it in my cock, especially the first time during a 'scene.' There is nothing sexier in this world than a beautiful man offering himself up to you completely, not only willingly, but eagerly. I opened my eyes and pulled my body up so that I was straddling him. I leaned down and brushed my lips against his and licked his bottom lip. I pushed my tongue into his mouth, cupped his cheeks, and deepened the kiss. I continued kissing him for a minute but, then, pulled back. He whimpered softly.

"We can finish that later. Right now, you need to eat. You missed breakfast."

I released his hands and sat him up and, then, sat down in between his knees, my legs around his waist. I grabbed the fuzzy cuffs from the floor beside the bed and fastened his hands together in front of him.

Justin didn't say anything. He just watched me curiously.

I grabbed the plate off the end table and set it on my lap. I'd made him a chicken salad sandwich, which I had cut into bite-sized pieces and a green salad with tomatoes and carrots. When Justin saw what I'd made, he licked his lips but, then, looked back up at me. I chuckled. He was such a food whore.

I said, "Open up, Angel."

Once he had, I set a sandwich piece in his mouth. He chewed and swallowed quickly and opened his mouth again. I fed him half the sandwich that way and, then, picked up some lettuce drenched in ranch dressing, I traced his lips with it and then licked the dressing off. His cock responded immediately. I kissed him passionately, but pulled away quickly and placed the lettuce into his mouth. He groaned and then laughed and munched on his lettuce. Next, I took a cherry tomato and held in front of his mouth. He reached out to take it, but I pulled it away.

"Uh, uh. You have to be patient and follow directions."

He waited, looking at me expectantly. I pushed the tomato halfway into his mouth and said, "Bite it."

When he bit into it, tomato juice sluiced down his face. He chewed and swallowed the tomato half, and, then, I licked the juice from his mouth, cheeks, and chin.

"Mmm. Angel, you're tasty."

Justin smiled bright. I rubbed his lips with the other tomato half and, then, popped it into his mouth. When he'd eaten it, I kissed his lips tenderly and then licked them clean. I fed him the rest of the lettuce and cherry tomatoes without the sensual play, but I smiled a lot and kissed his lips gently every few bites. Then, I fed him a few more bites of the sandwich. Finally, we'd gotten to the best part. I took a long carrot spear (short but thick) and rolled it in the dressing. Justin was watching me with a naughty glint in his eye. I think he guessed what I was going to ask him to do, and he seemed excited. I lifted it up and said, "Angel, lick it clean."

He smiled and drew his tongue along its length, licking my fingers in the process.

"You're a naughty boy. Did I ask you to lick my fingers?"

"No, Master."

"Then why did you?"

He blushed but, then, answered softly, "Forgive me, Master. I just wanted to taste you so badly. What I enjoying licking most is your cock, your nipples, your lips, your ass, and your fingers. With your fingers so close, I couldn't resist."

He kept his eyes down but spoke in a sultry voice. The little fucker was good, by all appearances, obedient, but willfully disobedient in his attempt to get me to do what he wanted (feed him my cock rather than carrot sticks).

"You're still being naughty; don't think for a second that I don't know what you're trying to do."

He kept his eyes down, but bit back a smile.

I wanted to laugh, but I had to be serious. I couldn't tolerate open defiance. Not so soon anyway.

"It appears you're no longer hungry for food." I set the plate back on the end table.

"I'll always give you what you need, Angel, but you need to learn patience."

I moved off of Justin and, then, off the bed. I rummaged around the toy trunk until I found a cock ring. I slipped it on Justin's erect cock.

I walked into the living room, picked up the chaise, and carried it into the bedroom, setting it right in front of the bed.

"I'm about to do what I wanted you to do to me, before you were naughty."

I lay on the chaise, spread my legs a bit, picked up a bottle of lube, squeezed some in my hands, and rubbed my hands together to warm it up. I took one hand, grabbed my cock firmly, and started stroking it real slow. Justin licked his lips and moaned softly. I could see his cock swell. I closed my eyes and arched my back as I continued to stroke my cock. Then, I bent my knees and slipped a lubed finger inside me. I pushed it all the way up until I hit my prostate and moaned loudly. I stroked my cock faster. I opened my eyes and looked at Justin. His eyes wore a look of pain, and his cock was leaking.

"Do you like watching me finger myself, Angel?"

In a half-whisper, half-groan, he answered, "Yes, Master."

"Maybe you'd like to see me replace my finger with something a little bit larger."

I continued to stroke my cock, but more slowly. I pulled a large blue dildo from the toy chest and squeezed a generous amount of lube on it, stroking it until it was slick with lube. Then, I opened myself up with another two lubed fingers. Finally, I placed the dildo at my entrance and slid it inside me slowly. I grunted when it was halfway in and stopped. When I was finally able to accommodate it, I pushed it almost all the way in. I moved it around until I hit my prostate and moaned loud. "Fuck, that feels incredible."

Justin's cock was purple, throbbing, and covered in precum.

I pulled the dildo out and set it on the floor, carefully avoiding my bearskin rug.

"You look like you want something, Angel. Tell me what you want."

"Master, I want…I want…"

I guessed that he wanted so much that he couldn't settle on just one thing. Luckily, I was way ahead of him.

"Angel, do you want me to suck your cock while I fuck you with a dildo?"

His eyes brightened at this. I think we have a winner.

"While you were sleeping, I bought you a present."

I stood up and pulled a huge black dildo out of a brown paper bag. It was the same length as mine but thicker.

"What do you think, Angel? Can you take a cock this size?"

Justin nodded furiously and said, "Yes, Master. I want it inside of me. Please."

Fuck, his enthusiasm was HOT! He always wanted to try new things.

I squeezed lube on the dildo and stroked it until it was slick. I directed Justin to lie down and placed a pillow under his ass.

I knelt by the side of the bed, so I had easy access to both his cock and his ass. I licked his cock from head to base until he was no longer covered in precum. He moaned low in his throat. I started to prepare him, but Justin shook his head frantically.

"No, Master, please, don't."

My eyes widened.

Justin was crying softly. "I want to really feel the present you bought me, Master. The pain and the pleasure. I want to imagine it's your bare cock ripping me open and fucking me hard."

Fucking Christ! Justin was simultaneously breaking my heart and making my cock so hard it hurt.

I wiped away his tears and then kissed him passionately. I decided to forgo the cock sucking for now and kneel between his legs on the bed.

"Angel, are you ready? I'm going to fuck you raw and rough."

"God, yes, Master. Please."

I placed the dildo at Justin's entrance and, then, pushed it in a quarter of the way. Justin cried out but, then, pushed back, trying to bury the dildo in his ass. Fuck! I pushed it almost all the way in. Justin was crying hard now.

"Can you feel me inside you, Angel?"

"Yes, Master. Your cock is so huge; it's filling me up."

I moved the dildo around until I hit his sweet spot. Justin moaned loudly.

"Angel, do you like the way that feels?"

"Fuck yes, Master. Only you can make me feel this way."

I pulled the dildo almost all the way out and started fucking Justin with it hard, hitting his prostate on every thrust.

"Ohh….ohhh…Fuck me, Master. Fuck me, harder."

I complied.

When he started grunting loud, I asked, "Angel, do you want to cum?"

"Fuck yes, Master. Please, let me cum."

Still fucking Justin with the dildo, but more slowly, I slipped a condom on my cock. I pulled the dildo out, tossed it aside, pulled the cock ring off, and buried myself in Justin's ass in one thrust. Then, I held his waist and fucked him harder and faster than I ever have before. Justin bit his lip, trying to hold off. I angled my hips so that I was hitting his prostate. Justin began whimpering. A few more thrusts and I breathed, "Cum for me, Angel."

He came the second the words left my lips. His entire body quaked with the force of his orgasm, and his ass clamped down on me like a vise. Then, I came so hard I nearly lost consciousness. I rested my head on Justin's chest for a moment to catch my breath, pulled out, and tossed the condom in the trash bin. Then, I released Justin's hands and feet, pulled him into my arms, and lay down with him. I kissed his lips, cheeks, and forehead, as I gently rubbed his back. Justin was still crying. His arms were wrapped tightly around my neck. I nuzzled his cheek and whispered, "Angel, you did so good. You gave me more pleasure than I have ever experienced." He looked up at me in surprise.

"I did, Master?"

"Yes, Angel. Of course, you did. You are very special to me and so beautiful. Your body responds to mine in ways no one else's body ever could. We've always had a special connection. Since that first night."

"We have, haven't we, Master?"

Words had been tumbling out of my mouth unbidden, and I couldn't stop them if I'd wanted to, which I don't think I did. Expressing feelings I'd been trying to hide for so long was such a relief, I felt as though I were high on some wonderful drug. I couldn't stop myself from getting them all out.

"Angel…"

"Yes, Master."

"Do you remember our first night together?"

"Yes, Master." Justin smiled bright.

"Do you remember what I said to you after we fucked the first time?"

Justin answered nervously, "You said, you said, that you loved me."

He looked up at me expectantly. What he expected I don't know, but I doubt it was what I actually said.

I pulled him tighter against me and whispered in his ear, "I meant what I said that night, Angel. I loved you then, and I love you now. I've loved you all along."

Justin pulled away, so he could look at me. His eyes were filled with tears. When he confirmed what I'd said with the look in my eyes, he held me tight and breathed, "I love you, too, Brian. I always have, and I always will."

I smiled and nuzzled his neck. I decided to let the drop in protocol slide this time.


	24. The Shit Hits the Fan

Brian's POV

Carl had been keeping the story out of the papers, but, apparently, he could no longer manage it. The headline glared at me like an accusation: Gay PIFA Student Raped in Abandoned House. The perpetrators had not yet been identified, and I worried that Justin wasn't recovered enough to handle questions from the press and concerned friends and family. Mother Taylor and Deb would surely have my head for helping Justin to keep this a secret, but they tended to blame me for just about anything anyway. The phone started ringing. I doubted that it would stop anytime soon.

Suddenly, I heard screaming. "No, no, so, STOP, please stop." _Justin_.

I rushed to the bed and found Justin awake and shaking. I took him into my arms and whispered, "I'm here, Angel."

He half-spoke, half-sobbed, "I remember. I remember it all."

I caressed his face and kissed his forehead. I dreaded what he would say, but I needed to know.

Justin's POV

"_Do you see this?" Ethan hissed. "I bought this for you. In fact, it was part of a matching set."_

_He lifted his hand. He was wearing an identical ring._

"_Why did you have to ruin everything? Why? All for that fucking __**whore**__ Brian! _

I whispered, "Ethan. Ethan was there."

I continued, "Ethan invited me to the apartment to 'get some closure.' I felt guilty, so I agreed to stay and talk. He'd cooked dinner. He persuaded me to eat with him. But when he got a little handsy, I tried to leave. Then, I started feeling dizzy, and everything went black. When I awoke, someone was holding me up, while Ethan yelled at me. He showed me rings he'd bought for us. He was wearing one. He backhanded me several times with the hand it was on. He must have knocked me out because the next thing I remember is waking up on the bed, tied down…and…No. No. No."

I shook my head frantically. No. It couldn't be.

"_I told you you'd get AIDS one day, Taylor. Now all that's left is for you to die."_

I stared off into space, remembering, a look of resignation on my face. I said slowly, "I'm going to get sick and die."

"What? Talk to me, Angel."

Hearing Brian call me by my sub name brought me back to the present.

"Wha-what?"

Brian stared at me closely, trying to get a clue from my facial expression and body language about what I was thinking and feeling.

He replied carefully, "You just said that you were going to get sick and die. Why would you say that?"

I hung my head low, desperately trying to avoid the fear and sadness that was surely going to cloud Brian's eyes. I stated matter-of-factly, "I'm positive."

"Angel, look at me."

I lifted my head and saw…saw…something I never thought I'd see. Brian's eyes were filled with tears he struggled to quell and something akin to madness.

Desperately trying to maintain control, he asked, "Why… why would you say that?"

"Hobbs was there. He said…said…"

Brian placed his hand on my neck to stem the panic that was slowly rising to the surface.

"Angel, whatever it is, we'll deal with it together, okay?"

I just looked down. He didn't know what he was saying. I took a deep breath to steady my voice and, then, repeated, "Hobbs said, 'I told you you'd get AIDS one day, Taylor. Now all that's left is for you to die.'"

I watched Brian, so afraid, turns out, for good reason. I think I actually saw something break inside him. He swallowed hard and, then, whispered, "I meant what I said. Whatever happens, we'll deal with it together. Nothing on this earth could make me love you less or make me want to leave your side."

He looked at me, frantic. "Nothing!"

I was unsure. Damaged was one thing, but diseased, that was something altogether different. Brian could see the doubt in my eyes.

"I need you to trust me, Angel. You do trust me, don't you?"

I did. But…

I answered firmly, "I do trust you. Completely."

He touched his forehead to mine and breathed, "Then, believe me when I tell you that I want to be with you. Under any circumstances. During our…our separation, I learned all too well that I need you in my life. I need you so much."

Taking a deep breath, he continued, "But we won't know anything for sure until your test results come back. When they do, if…if (his voice broke) you're sick, we'll fight it together."

I was too astonished to respond. Brian had told me that he loved me last night, but I was still getting used to the new closeness our dom/sub relationship had brought. I was astonished, but I believed him. I was starting to relax. If Brian needed me in his life, I would be there. If I were truly positive, I'd stay healthy for as long as I could manage it. I'd fight the disease with everything I had.

I looked at Brian, and, with trust, determination, and love evident in my voice (I hoped), I said, "I do believe you. We'll get through this together."

Brian's body relaxed visibly, but his eyes. His eyes were still wild. I was afraid of what he might do.

"Angel, I need you to tell me what else you remember, but first…"

Brian was actually stammering. I don't think I'd ever seen him this way. Not even after I left the hospital following the bashing. I was seriously starting to worry.

He sighed and continued, "The story broke today."

Puzzled, I asked, "The story? About what happened to me?"

He couldn't meet my eyes. He just nodded.

"So…I should go see everyone, at least, your mother and Deb. Daphne's here, so you won't be alone."

"Okay, go see everyone. Everyone. But ask them to come here."

Concerned, Brian asked, "Are you sure? You don't have to do this."

I stated firmly, "I know, but I want to, no, I need to."

Brian just nodded. "So, I'll be back soon. I have my cell phone. Call me if you want or need to talk while I'm gone."

I smiled. "Okay."

He kissed my forehead and whispered, "I love you, Angel."

I flashed him a million-watt smile and said, "I love you, too."

Brian's POV

I felt like I was going insane. Overwhelmed with sadness, fear, and rage like I've never experienced, I was lost. I decided to walk to Liberty Avenue because I couldn't sit still. I couldn't rely on my normal coping methods, drugs and anonymous sex, because Justin needed me. I couldn't track Ian and Hobbs down and beat them to death, which I wanted to do so badly…I wanted to…with a need greater than any I had ever experienced, save one, the need to protect Justin. So I couldn't. I needed to be here for him, not rotting in jail. My frustration was so acute and my fear so great that I couldn't stop the tears from flowing.

I'd reached Liberty, and, seeing a dumpster, I remembered the hustler who'd been killed, which brought me right back to thoughts of Justin's rape and possible infection. I snapped. I started punching and kicking the dumpster. I punched so hard that my fists began to ache, but I couldn't stop. Not even if I wanted to. Suddenly, strong arms were pulling me away.

I tried to rip myself out of the unknown man's grasp, but he was too strong. He turned me to face him. It was Ben.

Softly, he said, "Brian…I read the article," but he still held me fast.

I shut my eyes, trying so hard to regain control over my emotions, but I couldn't. I felt helpless. I shook my head and let the tears fall, as I whispered, "You'd think that that was horror enough. But no. No. Apparently, Justin was destined to face every cruelty life has to offer."

I started shaking and sobbing.

Ben was stunned, but he responded quickly, pulling me to him and wrapping his arms around me tight. He rubbed my back. God, I had become a pathetic little faggot. If I could laugh, I would have had a nice long chuckle about this.

"Someone might have…might have infected Justin intentionally…"

Ben pulled me out of his arms, so he could look at me. "What?"

"One of Justin's assailants. Hobbs or someone he brought with him."

"Hobbs was responsible?"

"He and Ethan. I'm not sure who else…Twice already, I almost lost him. I need to be strong enough to help him now, but I...FUCK!"

I pushed back with force I didn't know I had, managing to free myself from Ben's grip. I wheeled to face an alley wall and growled, even as I cried, "The rage. I want to kill them both with my bare hands. Slowly. I want to watch them suffer and take the light from their eyes, the light they stole from Justin's. I've never wanted to kill anyone so much…not since…not since Jack."

Helplessly, I asked, "Where do I put all the rage?"

Ben squeezed my shoulder.

I shook his hand off and spun around to face him. Then I started pacing.

"I've never really known what to do with it. So I drank and took whatever drugs I could get my hands on. I mean, how do you ever reconcile yourself with the fact that a man three times as tall and ten times as heavy as his son would hurt him, someone he was supposed to protect? Someone he should have loved? Huh? How does anyone wrap their mind around that?"

Ben shook his head. "That isn't something any good person can understand, Brian."

I squatted down and whispered, "What do I do with the rage I feel? He took advantage of my helplessness and, then, mocked me, daring me to fight back and laughing at my attempts to do so. And God, Justin."

I was crying hard now.

"How could anyone _ever_ want to hurt Justin? He's so beautiful, giving, trusting, loving…his light shines so bright…what kind of monster would want to dim that? Especially a person who once claimed to love him? What kind of monster would want to kill him?"

I was drowning. Drowning in a pool of rage that lay within me always, never shrinking, only growing. I stood up fast and started punching the brick wall in front of me. Ben pulled me back into his arms and held me as I sobbed.

He whispered, "You're strong. Stronger than most. You were strong enough to survive your father's abuse and help Justin after the bashing; you'll find strength enough within you to stand by his side now. There is no way to understand child abuse or rape, to dispel the associated rage. Love is the only answer. You love Justin. So channel that rage. Be whatever he needs."


	25. The Blame Game

Justin's POV

My head was in a whirl. My mother started banging at the loft door just a few minutes after Brian left. Not long after that, Debbie arrived with Michael in tow, followed closely by Ted and Emmett. My mother, Debbie, and Emmett were crying and rubbing various parts of me, apparently, to console me, and Ted and Michael were trying to avoid my eyes, but occasionally shot me pitying glances. Daphne was watching the scene uncomfortably, not sure what to do.

I was about to lose it.

My mother moaned, "If only…"

I snapped. "If only what?"

Daphne started to say something, probably planning to extract my mother's foot from her mouth, when we heard the clang of metal on metal.

Then Brian walked in, Ben and Carl trailing behind him.

Michael stared at his best friend and boyfriend, a jealous look on his face. I laughed inwardly as I wondered who he was jealous of.

Suddenly, my mother threw herself at Brian and started pounding on his chest, screaming, "No good has come from Justin meeting you! Only sorrow and pain! How could you let this happen?"

Debbie, Michael, Emmett, and Ted wore astonished expressions, but did not move to intervene.

Ben, however, did. He quickly pulled her off Brian and into his arms, rubbing her back as he held her.

After a couple of minutes, my mother stepped out of Ben's arms and wheeled around, shooting daggers at Brian. "No more! I helped you get Justin back, but I shouldn't have. At least, with Ethan, he was safe!"

Brian's eyes flashed, growing black with rage.

Carl interjected, "Mrs. Taylor, Ethan was involved."

My mother paled. "What?"

Everyone seemed shocked. No one was more shocked than I had been.

Brian hissed bitterly, "That's right. The nice young man who was more age appropriate for your son. Who everyone thought was charming and sweet. Better for him."

Brian paused and then asked, a defensive and confused look on his face, "And what did you mean when you said you helped me get Justin back?"

She retorted, "I told him what you should have told him a year ago…about your visiting the hospital after the bashing."

She pointed at Brian accusingly, "If you'd told him how you felt before, he never would have run to Ethan in the first place!"

Looking defeated, Brian breathed, "You're right."

Oh hell no!

I shouted, "Hold on! Brian is no more to blame for Ethan and Hobbs raping me than for the bashing!"

Everyone started whispering at that, Hobbs's name on their lips. Well, everyone except Carl. He stepped away from the group and pulled out his cell phone to call someone.

"He's also not to blame for me 'running to Ethan.' I was the one who stopped listening to my instincts where Brian was concerned. I was the one who stopped being able to read him. Who started thinking that flowers and pretty words were more meaningful than the thousand little ways Brian showed me his love every day!"

My voice barely above a whisper, I continued, "About Ethan and Hobbs…if you are so hot to blame someone, blame me! I was the one who taunted Hobbs on Liberty Avenue, and I was the one who went to Ethan's apartment that night. I believed his bullshit. Put myself in danger."

My eyes lost focus as memories flashed through my mind. Memories of me leaving Brian at the Rage party jumbled with memories of Ethan fucking me, his fetid breath in my face as he told me I was his now, that I would be forever. Then, I was kissing Brian desperately the night of the bowling competition. Hating myself for what I'd done, wanting Brian to erase it all. Suddenly, Hobbs was behind me, pounding into me. Then I was lying on the loft floor, rejected. Brian had sensed the filth on me, my guilt, and no longer desired me.

To no one in particular, I whispered, "After all that, I don't know how Brian can love me."

Held hostage by my memories, I hadn't seen Brian slowly making his way toward me. I felt him before I saw him, his warm hand in mine, his warm breath whispering, "I love you, Angel" in my ear.

I relaxed visibly and sighed. Master. I couldn't help but smile at him softly.

Brian's POV

I ignored everyone but Justin as I held his eyes with mine and led him into the bedroom, sliding the door closed.

We sat on the bed. I cupped his cheeks and smiled softly. "Angel, you're mine. All mine. Aren't you?"

Justin looked confused for a minute and opened his mouth to speak, but hesitated. Finally, he replied, "Yes, Master."

"You're so beautiful and special to me."

"I…" Justin started to speak, but, then, stopped. Instead, he just looked at me hopefully.

I kissed his lips gently.

"Do you remember what I told you yesterday? About my feelings for you?"

He smiled brightly, but said a bit shyly, "You…you said that you loved me."

"Yes. I told you that I've loved you since the day I met you. Didn't I, Angel?"

Justin blushed. "Yes."

"Do you trust me, Angel? You know I'd never lie to you, don't you?"

"Yes, I trust you completely, and I know you wouldn't lie to me."

"Okay. So believe me when I say that I would never stop loving you because someone hurt you."

My voice husky, I continued, "Christ, I could never stop loving you, no matter what. Not even if I wanted to. You and I have been connected since the night we met, and nothing could sever that connection."

Justin looked unsure. "Even if…"

I cut him off, stating firmly, "Nothing could ever break that connection. Whatever happened that night, I'll still love you and want you in my life. I'll still want only you."

"But…"

"No buts. Nothing that happened to you could make me love you less. Bad things happen to strong people all the time. What Ethan and Hobbs did to you couldn't have been prevented. You are not to blame. You were drugged and beaten until you blacked out. And don't bother saying that your going to Ethan's had anything to do with it. You went because you're a good person, and, if you hadn't gone, Ethan would have attacked you somewhere else."

I pulled Justin into my arms and held him tight.

He whispered, "You really still love me? Still want me?"

I smiled into his neck and replied softly, "Always, Angel. Always."

Suddenly, Carl called through the door. "Brian…Justin, get out here. We're finally bringing Ethan in."

My head shot up. "The judge finally granted the search warrant?"

I took Justin's hand and led him out to the living room. I continued to hold his hand as Carl spoke.

"Yes. His high-placed connection couldn't protect him forever. The cops who conducted the search found evidence there connecting him to the abandoned house…and…"

He lowered his voice and continued, "and…the DNA results came back on the semen. He's a match for one of the samples. I also put a rush on Justin's HIV test. I have a friend at the hospital."

Justin and I both held our breath, and Justin held my hand tighter.

Carl smiled. "According to the standard test, you're in the clear."

I pulled Justin into my arms and hugged him tight, both of us smiling like fools.

"Of course, it takes time for antibodies to become measurable. Normally, you'd need to get tested again in a month and then in six months. But my friend says that there is a way to know much faster, a nucleic acid based test. It's expensive, but if you take it and pass, you can be almost absolutely sure that you're negative. If you go to the hospital in a week, she'll retest you with that one."

Justin responded brightly, "Sure. Thanks so much, Carl!"

"No thanks needed, kid. But I do need you to come down to the station. It sounds like more of your memory has come back. I'll need you to make a supplementary statement."

Justin nodded.

"I also want you to look at some mug shots. Brian…"

He paused.

"Brian told me about the Sap's party."

Justin's eyes flashed in anger.

But when Carl explained, "He only told me when I asked who might want to hurt you," the anger faded, and he nodded.

"Anyway, assuming you can ID any of them, I want to bring them in for questioning. They may not have been involved in the rape, but we found a drug in your system that neither Ethan nor Hobbs could have gotten on his own. But Saperstein, or his friends, they could have, easily."

Justin's voice barely rose above a whisper at first but gained strength when he squeezed my hand. He answered, "Okay. Let's go."

As we headed to the door, I asked Daphne, "Could you hold down the fort for me? We're going to the police station."

Concern evident in her voice, Daphne asked, "What's up?"

"Ethan's been brought in. Justin needs to tell the cops what he remembered."

She nodded, deep in thought.

Justin smiled bright and whispered in her ear, "The first test came back negative."

"Really?" she asked excitedly. She hugged him tight, and they both bounced up and down a few times.

I couldn't help but chuckle.

Then I started pulling Justin out the door and said, "We'll call if there's any news."

Ben approached hesitantly. "Are you going to the station?"

I nodded.

"Can I come with?" He seemed worried.

I looked at him intensely, my eyes clouding over as I remembered the breakdown I'd had earlier.

I set my jaw in determination. I needed to support Justin. I couldn't fall apart again. I would never admit it, but I was relieved that Ben wanted to accompany us. If I did fall apart again, Ben would be there…to…to what? I don't know, but his very presence calmed me.

I threw him a quick nod, and we were out the door. As it slid shut, I heard Michael ask in annoyance, "Where are they going? Why is Ben with them?"


	26. No One Puts Baby in the Corner

Justin's POV

I'd gone to the police station with Brian, Ben, and Carl and was now looking at mug shots, trying to identify men from the Sap's party last year. Suddenly, Brian looked up, through the crack in the door (he was sitting next to me, his hand in mine), and, then, he glanced over at Ben, staring at him intensely. Ben looked where Brian had and stiffened.

Brian kissed my cheek and whispered, "I'll be right back, Angel."

A little nervous, I asked, "Where are you going?"

Brian smiled. He seemed to be making an effort to appear calm. "Just to talk to Ben. I won't be gone long."

I said, "Okay," but I was uneasy. Something wasn't right.

Ben's POV

Brian and I left the interrogation room. I made sure to close the door so that Justin didn't see what had gotten Brian so upset, Ethan. The cops had apparently brought him in, and he was sitting by someone's desk, as a cop fingerprinted him. Once done, the cop, one of the more open-minded ones, caught Brian's eye and, then, left to 'file some paperwork.'

Brian smiled at Ethan, a frightening look in his eyes. Ethan stiffened, watching him approach warily. I was nervous, too. I assumed that, sometime soon, Brian would attack him and that I would need to pull him off Ethan before he beat the son of a bitch to death. A small part of me wondered if I'd manage it. The look in his eyes scared even me.

Brian continued moving toward Ethan but, then, stopped dead in his tracks. He looked back at the interrogation room, lost in thought. Then, he turned to Ethan, who looked like he was about to shit his pants, and said evenly, "In spite of your efforts to the contrary, Justin is happy and healthy, and we're solid. Long after you're rotting in jail, when you're nothing but a distant memory, Justin and I will be together. Happy."

Then, he calmly walked out of the station. I stared at Ethan incredulously for a moment, but, then, followed Brian.

When I found him, he was punching a brick wall. His hands were already bloody. I ran over and pulled him into my arms. This time, he didn't resist at all, though he didn't reciprocate. He started trembling and croaked out, "If I had touched him, I would have killed him. Maybe I should have. What kind of boyfriend am I? I should have beat him to within an inch of his life. But…I know I wouldn't have been able to stop…and Justin…"

He pulled himself out of my arms and looked at me helplessly. "Justin…"

I stated firmly, "Justin wouldn't want to lose you over Ethan. Justin wouldn't want to lose you at all, but especially not because of Ethan. That son of a bitch has taken too much from Justin already."

Brian stared into space and nodded slowly, but I'm not sure he believed me.

Still staring into space, he whispered, "I don't want Justin to think I don't…that I don't love him (his voice broke), but I don't want him to recoil in horror, either."

Justin's POV

I had managed to identify two men from the Sap's party and walked out of the interrogation room in search of Brian. What I found instead was Ethan. He was sitting in a chair next to some cop's desk. As soon as I saw him, I turned around, my mind racing.

Suddenly, I felt his hot breath on my ear. My skin crawled, my stomach turned, and I had the urge to vomit.

"Can you still feel me inside you, Sunshine?" Ethan whispered. "Did you enjoy it? I know how much you like being fucked."

I was still facing away from him. I didn't want to see him leering at me.

Not looking at him also gave me a little more courage. I seethed, "How the fuck would you know? You had me ONCE, and I didn't want it or you."

I was overwhelmed by fear, and adrenaline was pumping through my veins, but there was something else. Rage. Black murderous rage. I had never hated anyone as much as I hated Ethan at that moment. It was a little frightening, but empowering, too. I wanted to rip the grin I knew he was wearing, the grin I could hear in his voice, off his ugly face, and, suddenly, I felt capable of doing it. I wheeled around, grabbed him by the throat with both hands, and shoved him against the nearest wall.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw cops jumping to their feet. Brian had appeared, I don't know from where, and Carl looked at him. Master. Just seeing him centered me. He was watching me, but his expression was unreadable. After a moment's pause, he shook his head, and Carl waved his men away.

Turning my full attention back to Ethan, I squeezed until I heard him gasping. Then I hissed, "You are a scum-sucking bottom feeder. Were you always a sleazy predator? Or did my dumping your ass push you over the edge? How could you? You served me up on a silver platter to the person who nearly took everything from me, the person who hates me most on the planet! For all I know, you helped him murder me!"

"What?" he sputtered. I saw confusion in his eyes. He couldn't be that clueless. Could he?

"From the way he was taunting me, there's a very real chance that he's positive, and you, you, let him fuck me without a condom!" I spit.

"I…I didn't know!"

"You are so stupid! You can't play with hatred like that! You can't control it! You're a fucking little boy throwing a hissy fit over a lost toy. When whining, begging, and crying didn't get you what you wanted, you tried to break me! To make sure Brian could never have me whole. Well, listen up!"

I squeezed harder and slammed his head against the wall.

"I'm still here! I'm still here rejecting you! The only person I ever really wanted, the only person I ever really loved, was Brian, not you! Never you! I didn't let you fuck me because you weren't special enough. And now, you are less than nothing to me. Irrelevant."

I let go, and he fell to the ground, coughing and clutching his throat.

I turned around and found myself enveloped in warm arms and a familiar scent…cigarettes, coffee, and fancy Italian soap.

Brian. I relaxed into his embrace. He kissed my cheek, and a tear followed, falling softly onto my face. Was Brian crying? Then, he whispered, his voice warm, "I love you, and I'm proud of you, Angel." Had he known? Had he known that I could still feel Ethan's hot moist breath on my ear, his words echoing ominously in my head? But, with just a few words, he'd managed to banish every trace of Ethan.

As he led me out of the station, Ben in tow, I heard Ethan screaming.

He yelled, rather hoarsely, I couldn't help but note with a smile, "Aren't you going to arrest him? He could have killed me! I could sue you for negligence. You let him attack me. Stood around and watched!"

Carl sounded confused. "I didn't see anything." To the officers standing around, he asked, "Did any of you?"

I looked back and saw them all shaking their heads.

Then, Carl addressed Ethan again, "Did you go off any meds recently? You should take better care of yourself. Mental health is as important as physical health."

Brian and I just smiled.


	27. Brian Freaks, Really, Really Freaks

Brian's POV

I looked around the loft and sighed. The circus was still in town when we returned. They had pitched their tents and taken the animals out of their pens for exercise. They were even serving food (that was really the only good part. Justin hadn't eaten in quite some time; for all I knew, I was starting to look tasty to him, and not in a positive life-affirming way).

Poor Daphne. Deb and Mother Taylor had her cornered and were pumping her for information. I couldn't have been more proud. She'd responded, "It's not my place to say" so many times that Deb was having an apoplectic fit, and Mother Taylor was beside herself, hand on her chest, so pale I could barely see her (I'd heard Daphne do so five times in the few minutes we'd been standing by the door).

Mikey was standing by the window, arms crossed, pouting. Ted was watching porn on my computer with the sound off, as evidenced by the perverse smile and wide eyes (so glad he didn't take my laptop anywhere), and Auntie Em, as always (if I were honest), was a breath of fresh air. He had called in the cavalry (to bring groceries) and was cooking up a storm. It looked like he was preparing for a cocktail party at the United Nations.

When Emmett saw Justin, he called out "Baby!" and tried (but failed miserably) to hold back the tears that had sprung to his eyes. He looked at me uneasily, and with good reason (I was shooting him a warning look), shoved something into Justin's mouth (was that a codfish ball?), handed him a plate with all different kinds of appetizers on it (salmon caviar on buttered toast, strange-looking meatballs on toothpicks with a white sauce for dipping, stuffed cabbage leaves, sushi, baked sweet potatoes, corn bread, and some type of flat bread), and ran back to the kitchen (and his hanky). I think I smelled cake or cookies, too.

Justin happily munched on his codfish ball and eyed the other appetizers hungrily; I couldn't help but laugh and kiss the little twat on the cheek. Everyone (but Ted) turned their attention to us when they heard Emmett's greeting. Mother Taylor, Deb, and Mikey were headed our way, none looking pleased. Fucking Christ! Daphne looked like she wanted to hide in the bedroom, but, like the true friend she is, she walked over to Justin and awaited the onslaught (and helped herself to a piece of salmon-caviar-laden toast, saying "Ooo, pink! I love pink food!" I couldn't help but smile, especially when Justin responded, mouth still full, "That does look good!")

Both the mothers (I'll leave the implication where it lays) squared off with Justin and I, while Mikey took Ben aside.

Deb yelled, "So did they arrest that son of a bitch?"

Jen glared at me and suggested to Justin, "Honey, I think you should come home with me. I can keep you safe."

Mikey moaned, "Ben, why did you go to the police station? And where were you before then? You aren't involved in this, are you? I don't want you to put yourself in any danger! You've suffered enough."

Ben replied calmly, rubbing Mikey's shoulder in reassurance, "Michael, I was just being a supportive friend."

Before anyone had answered her first question, Deb posed another. She asked, with concern, confusion, and urgency in her voice, "So Sunshine, what exactly happened that night? Had you even seen Hobbs or Ethan recently?"

Mikey shook his head and stated, "I like Justin and all, but he attracts trouble."

That was the last straw!

I snapped, "Mikey! Shut the fuck up! Ben wasn't there to support Justin. He was there in case I needed him."

Everyone was stunned, even Justin. Well, everyone but Daphne and Ben, privy as they had been to my freak outs.

Mikey responded, "Huh?"

I yelled at Mikey, avoiding Justin's eyes like the plague, "Am I not speaking English? Did it ever occur to you that I might…that I might be going insane with guilt and feelings of helplessness? Or that this might be bringing some of my Daddy issues to the surface? I may be an asshole; I may not have expressed my feelings for Justin when I should have, but, if you knew me at all, you'd know that I have always tried to protect Justin. ALWAYS! Together or not. But I'm NOT fucking Rage, Mikey! I'm not a superhero. I can't tell when a closet maniac is about to crack…or feel evil descending on Justin. Everyone thinks I control everything, but I don't (I turned to face everyone now, except Justin and Daphne, who were beside me) I can't! I would if I could! I couldn't even kill Ian when I had the chance. Why, you might ask? I certainly have no scruples. No, it's because I'm afraid. A scared little faggot. Afraid of losing Justin again…afraid of becoming Jack and seeing Justin recoil in horror…afraid of being forcibly separated from him when the cops send me to jail. Did you all know that I haven't left his side since it happened (well, just once, but Daphne was here)? I'm fucking powerless to keep the person I love most in the world safe, and it's fucking killing me!"

Everyone's eyes were wide with shock, even Ted's. I honestly don't know what expression Justin's eyes wore. I couldn't meet his gaze, though I felt it. Not now. I was afraid that I was hurting him somehow… that admitting my weakness would make him lose respect for me, or worse yet, pity me…I just couldn't bear to see more pain (disappointment or pity) in his eyes. I just couldn't.

A little more calmly, I continued, "Now to address other questions and comments…Mrs. Taylor, Justin lives here. This is his home. Deal with it! Mikey, Justin doesn't attract trouble. If you really liked him, you'd never fucking say that! I hope it's just your concern for Ben talking because that was yet another thoughtless comment you've made about Justin that went WAY WAY over the fucking top…and I won't have it! No more. Think before you speak or shut the fuck up! Loving me and Ben doesn't give you the right to spew such hateful bullshit! And Deb…I have no idea where you were going with the whole 'Had you even seen Hobbs or Ethan' crap, but I fucking hope you weren't asking whether Justin did something to precipitate what happened!"

I looked down and pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to regain control. Every time I thought I was okay, I wasn't.

A few moments later, I added, "If you all want to stay, eat some of Em's food, and act normal around Justin (assuming he wants you to stay), that's fine by me. But Justin's gone through so much recently…he shouldn't be assaulted with prying questions, however well meaning, or suggestions about how he should live his life differently. And blaming someone (other than Ethan and Hobbs) or something may make you feel better, but it has the potential to scar Justin…so don't do it! Oh and Ted, go watch porn at your own fucking place!"

At that, everyone burst out laughing, well, except Ted. He actually blushed.


	28. What Are Best Friends For? Take Three

Brian's POV

Deb and Jen were talking to Justin. I kept looking over at Justin nervously, but I stayed where I was. Daphne was with them, making sure Deb and Jen played nice.

Then, I saw Mikey approaching me hesitantly, his head hanging down sheepishly.

I grabbed him by the arm and pulled him into my arms. I hugged him tight and, then, let him go.

He began, "Brian…I…"

I interjected, "You don't need to say anything. Just be careful from now on, okay?"

Mikey replied, "Okay." Then, he added, "But I still need to say something."

I nodded slowly and waited.

He looked at me warily, as though on the lookout for signs that I was about to freak again. "I…well, Daphne, Ben, and I, we helped you and Justin get back together. I wanted to tell you because I need you to know that I know I've been a jerk…and I'm trying to make up for it."

I looked up quick as if struck. I asked sharply, "What do you mean, you helped us get back together?"

Mikey clenched and unclenched his fist nervously.

"Well…Ben helped me see how much Justin means to you and suggested that we get everyone together and hold an intervention!"

I couldn't help but chuckle. Mikey's voice held that excitement he usually reserves for describing the adventures of his comic book heroes.

Still uncomfortable and a little miffed (I hated it when people meddled in my affairs), I prodded, "Pray tell, what was this intervention for?"

He replied slowly, "Well…Ben noticed that there were things we knew that we hadn't told Justin, things he needed to know…"

"Like?" I was becoming increasingly agitated.

He answered hesitantly, "Well…like the fact that you glued that judge's ass to the toilet…that you visited Justin every night at the hospital after the bashing…"

My eyes widened in shock. I snapped, "How the fuck did you know about that?"

He responded defensively, "I didn't, not until Justin's mom told everybody."

I sighed. "So, Justin knows?"

Mikey admitted, "Yeah…that was the whole point."

I snapped, "What else?"

Mikey looked at me in confusion. "Huh?"

I retorted, "What else did you all tell him?"

Mikey thought a minute and, then, answered, "Mmm…that you bought that framed picture of you naked…that you came to Babylon looking for Justin as soon as you got home from Chicago…that you almost bought him flowers for his birthday…"

I was livid. "How the fuck did anyone know that?"

Mikey looked hurt. He replied defensively, "Mel happened to see you at the newsstand. She was headed there to buy Lindsay some art magazine."

I thought back to Justin and I's truth or dare game. When I asked him why he'd come back, he'd replied, "I missed you more than I could ever express in words, and our being apart seemed so wrong. Especially when I learned that you weren't handling my leaving too well."

I purred dangerously, "Mikey…how did Ben know what Justin means to me?"

Mikey couldn't even meet my gaze. He answered in a near whisper, "We saw the hustler leave the loft."

I froze. A few moments later, panicking, I stuttered, "Did you tell Justin?"

Mikey couldn't even speak. He just nodded, all the while looking at the floor and kicking one foot with the other.

I turned red and, then, paled. I was mortified. Had the little fucker come back to me out of pity? Was I a joke to him?

I bellowed, "Everyone, get the fuck out!"

They all looked surprised, though they shouldn't have been, given my earlier behavior, but they all left.

Quickly.

Justin was the most shocked of all. He approached me slowly, observing me closely, trying to locate the source of my anger.

I growled, "When did I become a fucking joke to you?"

Justin was stricken. He whispered, "What?"

I continued, still growling, "Am I so pathetic that I need your pity?"

Growing increasingly confused, Justin asked desperately, "What the hell are you talking about?"

I hissed, "You didn't come back to me because you love me. You came back because you pitied me. But I was fucking fine! I didn't need your pity! I don't need it!"

Crystal-blue eyes flashing, Justin snapped, "You were NOT fine!"

Then, more softly, he continued, "But I didn't come back out of pity. I didn't pity you. I never could."

I scoffed, "Yeah, what the fuck ever! Then why did you come back after Mikey told you about the hustler?"

Justin paled, but, then, his face flushed with anger.

He spat, "Did he happen to tell you what else I was told that night?"

I retorted, "Yeah. So what?"

Angrily, he repeated, "So what??"

I hissed, "When I asked why you came back, you said, 'Our being apart seemed so wrong. Especially when I learned that you weren't handling my leaving too well.' That's pretty cut and dry, isn't it?"

Justin replied evenly, "Of course, the hustler was part of the reason, but not the way you think. I told you that I left because I didn't think you loved me. The fact that you hired him, among the many other things everyone told me, just showed me that you did."

I looked at the floor for a moment. Then, I shook my head. I said roughly, " I can't do this."

I grabbed my coat and turned to leave, but I hadn't made it halfway to the door when I heard Justin move. Suddenly, he was kneeling on the floor, his head down. He grabbed my hand and rubbed it gently against his cheek.

He whispered, "Master, please. Give me what I need."

I responded, my voice breaking, "What is it that you need?"

Justin smiled and replied, "You're my Master. You already know what I need. You always do."

And I did. He needed me to love him and trust him enough to believe it when he said he loved me, too.

I was about to respond, but I stopped when I saw his face. The light was fading. He furrowed his brow and shook his head, as though trying to banish some dreadful thought. Then, he pulled me toward him by my waist and started unbuttoning and unzipping desperately. When he'd freed my cock, he immediately deepthroated it.

I moaned, "Fucking Christ!"

Then, I shook my head and pushed him off me, zipping up.

"No, please…" he pleaded.

I kneeled down beside him and turned his face toward mine with a finger. Softly, I asked, "Why did you suddenly have the urge to do that, Angel?"

Justin's eyes lit up when I called him by his sub name. He seemed so hopeful, so adorable, I wanted to kiss him everywhere and fuck him into tomorrow.

His eyes suddenly filling with tears, he replied helplessly, "I wanted to prove my love for you…"

I felt a terrible ache in my chest at those words. I pulled Justin into my arms and held him tight.

Sad and angry, I whispered, "What did that bastard do to you?"

Then, I pulled away and looked directly into Justin's eyes.

Firmly, I continued, "You never have to prove your love for me like that. Or at all. I love you, Angel, and I trust you completely. I believe you when you say that you love me."

Justin said brightly, "See, you do know what I need."

I looked down.

I explained, my voice low, "I was just…I didn't want you to know how low I had sunk after you…after you left…how pathetic I'd become…"

Justin interjected, "You could never be pathetic. It would only be pathetic if I hadn't missed you as much."

Brightly, he continued, "But I did. I dreamt of you every night we were apart. I'd wake up remembering the taste of your lips, the feeling of you being inside me…"

I couldn't hold back anymore. I breathed, "Angel," grabbed him roughly, and sent my lips crashing down onto his.


	29. Entering Subspace

Brian's POV

Suddenly, I broke off the kiss. Justin groaned in complaint and looked a little hurt.

I took a deep breath, willing my heart rate to slow, my breathing to normalize, and my cock to soften.

I smiled and asked, "Angel, do you remember when you did the striptease at Babylon?"

Justin frowned. His voice low, he answered, "Yes, Master."

I caressed his cheek gently and drawled, "Don't frown, Angel. I never told you this, but I wanted you so much that night. I tried to look away and to distract myself, but I couldn't keep my eyes off your creamy white skin, slightly flushed with your exertions, your luscious ass, wiggling so naughtily, just begging to be fucked, your huge cock, your gyrating hips, or your sparkling blue eyes, cloudy with desire."

Justin looked down and blushed, but, then, peeked at me from under his long blond eyelashes.

I asked evenly, "Who were you thinking about when you were wiggling your ass and gyrating your hips?

Justin smiled and answered, "You, of course."

My eyes danced as I prodded, "You wanted to turn me on? To seduce me?"

Justin paled a little and answered in a low, serious voice, "I wanted you to want me the way I wanted you, Master. I wanted you to choose me above all others, that night and for always."

I nodded, a serious expression on my face. My voice husky, I said, "But I've done that, haven't I, Angel? Claimed you as my own?"

Justin lit up the room with his smile. He stated confidently, "Yes, Master."

"Well, tonight, I want to play a game not too different from that striptease."

Justin just looked at me, still smiling, waiting for me to tell him what I wanted.

I drawled, "I want you to tease and seduce me again, Angel."

Justin giggled, obviously eager to play this game with me.

I continued, my voice firm, "But there are rules."

Justin nodded, and his face assumed a serious expression as he listened attentively.

I declared firmly, "You aren't allowed to touch me without permission, and you may not speak unless spoken to."

Then more lightly, I added, "Otherwise, you are only limited by your imagination. If you want to move your seduction to some other part of the loft, just go. I'll follow. Do you understand, Angel?"

Justin smiled and replied, "Yes, Master."

Then I leaned close to Justin and whispered, "If you are a good boy, I'll show you how much you've pleased me by touching or kissing you. This might include sucking or nibbling parts of you or pounding your tight little ass. (At this, Justin shivered and moaned softly) And…if you are a very, very good boy, I'll even take you on a date tomorrow night."

Justin's eyes widened. He exclaimed, "A date? A real one?"

He was so fucking adorable that I couldn't help but chuckle. Then, I drawled, "Yes, Angel. I'll make every girly fantasy that ever popped into your head come true…"

Justin smiled even more brightly.

I asked softly, "Are you ready to start, Angel?"

"Yes, Master" came the enthusiastic reply.

Justin's POV

I was excited by the game Brian, Master, proposed and even more thrilled when I learned that he'd most likely be taking me on a date the next night. I knew that we didn't need roses and chocolate and other romantic trappings to show our love, but part of me still wanted him to act romantic sometimes, on occasion for us to do things 'normal' couples did.

Turning my mind back to the task at hand, I wondered how I should attempt to seduce him. There were so many possibilities.

I stood up, pulled my T-shirt off slowly, uncovering my skin an inch at a time, and let it fall to the floor. Then, I let my eyes travel up and down Master's body, which was incredibly hot even fully clothed, and rubbed my half-erect cock through my pants. I gazed into his eyes hungrily, as I squeezed my cock and licked my lips. I turned around and unbuttoned and unzipped my pants as I slowly walked to the bathroom. When I reached the door, I looked back at him, winked, and let my pants fall to the floor.

I walked into the shower and got the water going. By the time I was finished, Master was in the bathroom with me, leaning back against the counter, as he watched me, no perceivable expression in his eyes or face. I leaned back and let the water run through my hair and, then, I lathered up, rubbing every part of my body with a bar of soap. When I was all sudsy, I set the soap down and grabbed my cock firmly. I leaned back against the wall facing Master, my eyes closed, cupped my balls, and stroked my cock slowly. After a few minutes, I was breathing heavily. I squeezed my eyes closed more tightly and bit my lip to prevent myself from cumming.

Abruptly, I stopped stroking my cock. I opened my eyes wide and looked directly at Master. Then, I pressed my body against the panel of glass directly in front of him, as I imagined him pushing me up against it, preparing to fuck me. I leaned my head on the glass and started rubbing my cock against the panel, slowly, dying for any kind of friction, as I imagined Master thrusting inside me. After a couple of minutes, I rolled my head to the right. I slowly continued to rub my cock against the panel and mewled softly.

Suddenly, I stopped moving, closed my eyes tight, and banged my head against the glass a few times, gently at first but then a little harder. Master had said nothing about whether I was allowed to cum, but I hoped depriving myself of the pleasure would please him. I reached over to turn the water off, exited the shower, and began to towel off, standing right in front of him, letting him see my rock hard leaking cock and, then, turning around and bending over completely, giving him a great view of my ass. As I rolled back up, I felt him press his body against mine. I smiled as I noted that he was as hard as I was. When I was in a completely upright position, he placed a few open-mouthed kisses on my neck, moving upward until he reached my pulse point and then sucking on and nibbling my neck. My body flushed in pride and pleasure, and, unable to control myself, I let out a deep body moan. Master breathed, "Angel," squeezed my ass gently, and, then, slapped it. Hard. I yelped a little in surprise.

When I felt the chill of his absence, I exited the bathroom and lay down on the bed. I was on my back, my knees bent. I reached into the nightstand drawer and pulled out the lube and the black dildo Master had given me. I slicked it generously with lube and, then, placed it at my entrance. I gazed at Master hungrily as I started pushing it inside me. Then, I pushed the dildo all the way in, throwing back my head but still gazing at him longingly. I started pushing it in and out and licked my lips slowly, my eyes glazed over with lust. I made sure to hit my prostate every time I pushed the dildo inside me. My body was on fire. I had to bite my lip hard to prevent myself from cumming.

After a few minutes of delicious torture, my cock now throbbing and purple, I pulled the dildo out, set it on the bed, grabbed a paddle that happened to be laying on the floor nearby, kneeled on the floor beside the bed, my back facing Master, leaned over, and started paddling my ass. Mercilessly. It was a little awkward at first, but soon I was able to do so with smooth, quick motions. After a few minutes, my ass felt hot, and, doubtless, it was a nice bright red. My ass now stung painfully with each blow. But still, I continued for a minute or two after I was sure I couldn't take anymore. I pressed my face further and further into the duvet to hide the tears that sprang unbidden to my eyes. I wanted Master to be proud of my determination and to bring him pleasure.

I finally set down the paddle and wiggled my ass a bit, spreading my legs wider. I was about to start rubbing my cheeks to soothe them, but Master beat me to it. I snuck a quick glance backward and saw that he was naked and kneeling behind me. I turned away again and waited anxiously for him to fuck me. I was so turned on that a breeze could have set me off. But I was determined to last as long as possible. Master caressed my ass cheeks gently, his breath ragged. I smiled brightly. Apparently, he had enjoyed the show. He started rubbing his bare cock along my crack, which was now slick with lube that had seeped out of me. He pulled away, causing me to whimper at the loss of contact, and, then, a moment later, he grabbed my hips so tight (pinching my skin and setting it to throbbing) that I knew he'd leave marks, a prospect that put a soft smile on my lips, and pushed his cock inside me roughly, all in one go. He paused long enough to moan "Angel" softly but, then, started pounding my ass as though he were desperate to cum or to make me cum (he was hitting my prostate on every thrust).

I was still a little spacey from the paddling, but, now that Master was fucking me, and so roughly, while gripping my hips so hard, I began to feel as though I were floating. I could no longer control anything, not my body, not even my voice. Warm waves seemed to be passing through me. I trembled, delighting in the sensation. It was as though he caused the very air around me to heat and ripple with every hard thrust. Without even realizing what I was doing or what was happening, I started to moan "Master" loudly over and over, the moans issuing from deep within my body, and my cock jerked uncontrollably as cum poured out of me. The warm waves became hot pulses that shot through my arms, my legs, my chest, and my cock, almost painfully, until my entire body seemed to throb.

I had no idea how long this went on. When I had a more solid grip on reality, I was in Master's arms, my face pressed tightly against his warm neck. My body was still throbbing, and I felt as though every cell in my body were vibrating, but I was fully conscious. He was slowly running his fingers through my hair, whispering, "You did so well, Angel, giving me so much pleasure. I'm very proud of you, and I love you so much" over and over.

I looked up at Master and smiled softly. Speaking was difficult, but I managed to breathe, "I love you, too, Master."

Then, despite my efforts to prevent it, my eyes closed, and I melted into the warmth emanating from Master's body, fading into the darkness.


	30. Possession

**Justin's POV**

Brian sat down in front of me. I was on the couch, and Brian, on the table.

He sighed and stated, "Whether I like it or not, I have to start working as normal tomorrow, and you should probably start living a normal, well, a somewhat normal life again. Ethan's in jail, and Hobbes should be by the end of the day. So now, we need to decide what that means. I definitely want you to call me every two hours whenever we're apart. Will that be a problem, Angel?"

I shook my head no. I wanted to stay connected as much as he wanted us to stay connected.

Brian nodded. Then he shot me a tongue-in-cheek look and said, "I also took the liberty of making us a schedule."

I raised an eyebrow and asked, "A schedule?"

Brian pulled a sheet of paper off the table behind him and handed it to me. He explained, "Yes. I read about a Dom-sub couple doing something similar on a Web site last night. It sounds like fun."

I smiled and replied, "Ok…" slowly as I looked it over.

**Masturbation Monday**

Rubbing (against another person or thing)

Voyeuristic masturbation

Mutual masturbation

Non-penetrative sex/Irrumation (in mouth, between thighs/ass cheeks)

**Tie Tuesday**

All forms of bondage

**Whip Wednesday**

Flogging (switches/rods/cat o' nine tails)

**Textual Thursday**

Textual intercourse (IM/text message/email sex)

Verbal intercourse (phone sex or verbalizations without touching the other)

**Fantasy Friday**

Exhibitionism

Seductions of all kinds (not dependent on roleplay)

Sexual roleplay (first time, treating a 'slut' coldly regarding sexual gratification, hustler fantasies, etc.)

**Sub's Choice Saturday**

Anything goes (dates, the sub topping, etc.)

**Spanking Sunday**

Spanking/paddling (with and without butt plugs)

After I finished reading it, I looked up and smiled (my naughtiest smile).

Brian looked at me a little apprehensively. He asked, "Well, what do you think?"

I giggled and replied, "I fucking love it!"

Brian visibly relaxed and even smiled a little.

I set the schedule on the table next to Brian and took a deep breath. Ever since the night before, when Brian had almost left, but then stayed after I asked him to give me what I needed, I had been thinking about our level of commitment, basically about making it official. Our relationship had deepened, and I felt this was the perfect next step, but I was still nervous about mentioning it. But that was probably just a throwback from our previous relationship, before I'd met Ethan.

I bit my lip and then declared softly, "I want you to collar me."

Brian's eyes widened, and he stared at me for a few minutes. He seemed to be trying to read me.

Finally, he inquired, in a very serious voice, "Angel, do you know what you're asking?"

I nodded and answered firmly, "I do. I want you to promise me that you'll always be my Master. I want to be the only sub you ever have, and I want to play that role forever."

Brian just stared at me.

I added, "You were finally able to tell me that you love me, you've realized that you don't need to fuck anyone else (that in fact, not fucking anyone else can bring you more pleasure and freedom than you've ever known), and you've proven that you can and will take care of my every need no matter what the situation. So I want to give myself to you for always."

Brian looked down and rolled his lips into his mouth. A few moments later, he lifted his eyes until they met mine, and he said, "We started doing this as a way for us both to deal with what happened…"

I nodded, but countered, "Yes, but it has become much more than that, and you know it. Not only has it helped us work through my leaving but also becoming my Master has made you feel safe enough to share things with me that you've never been able to express before."

Brian wasn't looking at me. He agreed, though softly, "True."

I continued, "Look, I imagine that I would enjoy being 'on top' literally and metaphorically once in a while, but I don't need it to be for an extended period. Sub's Choice Saturday would more than suffice. Just your telling me that you would consider switching roles periodically, knowing, knowing, that you would do that for me, means so much to me, more than I could ever express. But you and I both know that we are already in our preferred roles. Even with everything that happened to me. That may confuse most people, but it shouldn't confuse you. I've always taken on the role of the aggressor with everyone else. You were always the only one I 'submitted' to…so it's not that I was too young to know I should want more or because I didn't…because I don't know how to dominate. I just…I've always wanted you to dominate me…I've always wanted to give myself to you. Because I love you…because I know you love me. (and because it's fucking hot!) Whenever you take care of me, take control, you show me that you care. That's always the way it's been. And when I let you, when I relish in it, I'm showing you how much I care, how much I trust you. And, like I said, it's a fucking turn on…the best in the world as far as I'm concerned. You are and always have been a natural dom, but, when we're together, when you dominate me, it's like nothing else. It's magic. I wouldn't want anyone else to be my Master, and no one else could be the sub I am for you. I think part of it is that you know it's a complete choice on my part. You've seen me with other people. You know I'm not simply a submissive person. I choose to get down on my knees for you because you alone are worth it. Because you bring me more pleasure than any other dom could."

Brian fixed me with an intense gaze as he asked, "You'd want me to collar you in front of everyone?"

Without hesitation, I answered, "Yes."

Then, I laughed.

I asserted, "I think that your claiming me in front of everyone, and for always, is, ironically, more of a submission than my giving myself to you. I mean, I've never made my feelings for you a secret. Hardly. So…if you needed time to think about it, I'd understand."

Brian lifted his head sharply and said, "No."

I was suddenly afraid that that was his answer, but then, he looked at me intensely and added, "I already know what I want. I've known it since your second prom."

I was holding my breath waiting.

"I want you, Angel. Only you and all of you. I need you to be mine, to possess you, in every possible way. So, yes, I'll collar you in front of everyone. In fact, it would be a great pleasure."

I threw myself into Brian's arms, kissing him everywhere, every patch of naked skin I could find.

He just laughed and smiled. I never thought I could be as happy as I was at that moment. That we could be that happy. It was dizzying.

After our talk, Brian said that he needed to go out for a while but that Daphne would be coming back over to hang out with me. I was a little disappointed that we didn't have celebration sex, but I was looking forward to sharing the good news with Daphne. She was going to freak! I had planned to be a little more nonchalant about the collaring, but, when Daphne arrived, I couldn't hold back. The moment she walked in the door, I burst out, "Brian and I are going to get married!"

Daphne's eyes widened. After my announcement registered, she grabbed me, screamed, and started bouncing up and down. A few minutes later, we sat down, me with a silly grin plastered on my face and her with a look of incredulity.

Daphne shook her head. "When you said that Brian told you he loved you, I was floored, and even more so when he admitted how he felt in front of everyone, but no word exists for what I'm feeling now."

I laughed and agreed, "I know. It sounds like a crazy dream, doesn't it?"

Daphne giggled. "So spill…how did it happen?"

I wrinkled my nose. I confessed, "I asked him, but he said yes, well, his exact words were 'I want you. Only you and all of you. I need you to be mine…So yes."

"Awww…that's so sweet!"

I just flashed her a million-watt smile. Then, I sighed. I knew that I had to tell her 'the rest.' I supposed that now was as good a time as any.

I began, "Daph, I need to tell you something."

She froze. "What is it? The test results weren't wrong, were they?"

I chuckled. "No, nothing like that."

She exhaled. "Phew. You had me scared. So what is it?"

"Well…remember that day that Brian broke the shower glass?"

She shivered. "Yeah. The fight you two were having that morning was intense."

I nodded slowly, remembering. I continued, "Well, I begged him to make me his again (Daphne looked like she might cry when I said this), so he suggested that we give dominance and submission a try."

"Dominance and submission? You mean like S&M?"

"Yes and no. Pain is involved, though only to enhance the eventual pleasure, but cruelty, self-hatred, and/or a love of pain, at least in our case, are not. Brian knew that this was the perfect way for me to deal with my feeling violated and helpless. Doing this with him made, makes, me feel beautiful, cherished, and safe. Somehow, he managed to exorcize everyone but himself from my body…as though he were the only man who'd ever fucked me, which is the way I wanted it, the way it would have been if I'd been given a choice. He also helped me to turn my anger outward, at my assailants, rather than internalizing it as I had been doing."

Daphne was awed. "Wow! That's really great."

I smiled. Then, I added, "So…when I asked Brian to marry me, I actually asked him to collar me."

"Collar you?"

"Yeah. Dom-sub couples participate in a collaring ceremony when they want to make their relationship permanent. Every relationship is a little different, but, generally speaking, such a ceremony is a way for the sub to give him or herself to the dom and for the dom to claim the sub as his or her own. Usually with friends (and possibly family members) as witnesses. It represents their promise to provide for each other's physical and emotional needs, though in different ways. The dom derives great pleasure and comfort from the sub's obedience and desire to please, and the sub derives the same from the dom's reverential gaze and carefully planned and executed scenes. They trust each other implicitly and are completely devoted to each other."

"That sounds wonderful."

I smiled. "It really is. I've never felt more loved in my life (or more pleasure), and Brian finally feels safe enough to be open with me."

Daphne laughed. "I think I understand, but I honestly don't know who else will."

I declared firmly, "Anyone who doesn't can fuck off."

Daphne smiled. "I'm glad to hear you say that. I always thought that you were too sensitive to what people said about Brian and about your relationship with him."

Suddenly, someone rang the bell. I froze. That was still my knee-jerk reaction to the unexpected. But I managed to quell my fear quickly and went to answer it. It turned out to be a delivery man. From a florist. I was delighted but shocked when the delivery man said that the flowers were for me. I smiled brightly when he handed me a vase with a dozen red roses, but, then (making two trips), he brought in four more. Finally, he handed me an envelope and left. I was flabbergasted.

Daphne jumped up and down at my side. She demanded, "Well hurry and read it!"

I smiled and pulled out a folded piece of paper. I read (out loud), "Angel, I hope you haven't forgotten about our date tonight. I've heard that a date should always bring flowers, but I thought you might prefer this delivery method. The florist informed me that the different-colored roses have different meanings, so I couldn't pick just one color. The red represents my love, and the orange, my desire. The yellow signifies the friendship we developed, and the white, your innocence, which I had the pleasure of taking from you. Finally, the blue-violet symbolizes the mystery and impossibility of our unlikely, yet nonetheless real, connection, one that not even my fear and stubbornness could break or in any way diminish.

Be sure to put on something pretty. I'll pick you up at 7pm."

Daphne screamed, "Oh my fucking God! That's so sweet!"

I just gazed dreamily at my five bouquets.

Getting ready, I was so nervous. I had no idea where we would be going, so I wasn't sure what to wear. Daphne suggested a lightweight red-purple cashmere sweater and black pants. That way, she reasoned I wouldn't be too overdressed at a club or too underdressed at a fancy restaurant. Once we'd decided, I jumped in the shower. When I was nearly done, Daphne started squealing. I hurried to finish, wrapped a towel around my waist, and rushed out.

I was immediately stunned. Brian had sent me something from the Armani store in New York. There was no card, but the box was labeled "Something Pretty." When I opened the box I found a pair of white satin loose-fitting pants (they clung to my waist just right, but were a little loose in the legs, giving them a slightly billowy look), a blue silk shirt, with an open neck, that left my midriff bare, and a pair of white flip flops. I loved it! Course, I was a little nervous about spilling something on myself, which is one of the reasons I often wore dark-colored shirts and dark cargo pants. Walking around, I felt so light and airy, as though I were completely naked.

Fifteen minutes to 7pm, I started pacing. Daphne tried to get me to relax, but I couldn't, so she passed the time by making fun of me. Finally, at 7pm on the dot, someone knocked. Daphne giggled and ran to answer the door. I was so nervous (I'm not even sure why) that I was frozen, facing away from the door.

A moment later, I felt Brian behind me. He whispered in my ear, "Turn around, Angel. Let me see how your new outfit looks."

I took a deep breath and pivoted slowly. He declared softly, as though in awe, "You look absolutely beautiful."

I beamed and blushed a little.

Brian was wearing a black button down shirt made of the lightest, softest material (you could almost see through it, and a few buttons were undone), a pair of almost sheer lightweight dark khakis, and black flip flops. He looked so gorgeous.

His eyes were dancing. He took my hand, threaded our fingers together, and asked, "You ready?"

I nodded. He pulled me gently toward the door. I waved goodbye to Daphne. She was smiling like a Cheshire cat.

For once, Brian and I took the stairs. When I raised an eyebrow, he stated simply, "If we stop moving before we reach the car, even for a second, I won't be able to control myself. You look especially scrumptious tonight."

My breath hitched in my throat.

Suddenly, I remembered the flowers. I burst out, "I love the roses. They are beautiful…and the note…I have no words."

Brian continued to look forward, as though he hadn't heard me, but he held my hand a little tighter.

My eyes widened when I saw that Brian was leading me to a limousine. He let go of my hand, opened the door for me, and bowed like a limo driver. I giggled and slid in. He joined me, and the limo started moving. I didn't even see the driver because of the divider. The limo was huge, with two bench seats.

I breathed in awe, "Brian, you've really outdone yourself."

He replied nonchalantly, "You ain't seen nothing yet."

I smiled brightly as he pulled me against him. My head was on his chest and his arm around my shoulder.

We only drove for maybe five minutes. When I stepped out, I realized that we were on Grandview Avenue on Mt. Washington. Both sides of the road were woodsy areas, but on the right side, there were small clearings through which you could see the Pittsburgh skyline.

At first, I thought we were headed for one of those, but, instead, Brian took my hand and led me into a grove of tall trees. We walked along a path, but one that had seen little use. After a few minutes of walking, we reached a circular clearing completely isolated from everything else by a thick curtain of trees and shrubs. In the center, there was a circle of trees, reminiscent of places druids held rituals. Inside the circle, there was a medium-sized round table with two white candles, two place settings, many dishes of food, and a bottle of champagne chilling.

Brian led me to the table and pulled out a chair for me.

Once I'd sat down, I exclaimed, "Brian….this is beautiful."

Brian chuckled. "I'm glad you like think so, Angel. For the record, this is as close I'll ever come to a picnic."

I shook my head and breathed, "This is a million times better than any picnic…"

Brian urged, "Dive right in. I know you're dying of curiosity."

While I did that, Brian pulled a portable CD player out from behind a tree and pressed play.

Depeche Mode's "Just Can't Get Enough" started to play. When The Divinyls' "I Touch Myself"

followed, I cried out excitedly, "Oh my God! Did you make us a mix CD?"

He didn't answer. He just started concentrating really hard on his food.

I added, in wonder, "You really meant it when you promised to make every girly fantasy that ever popped into my head come true."

We spent the next hour eating and staring at each other. Most of our conversation involved the food. Brian had selected such a wide variety of exotic foods. I was in heaven. The only songs I recognized from Brian's mix CD while we were eating were James Blunt's "Goodbye My Lover," the Art of Noise's "Moments in Love," and The Church's "Under the Milky Way."

When Audrey Hepburn's "Moon River" started to play, Brian surprised me, yet again, by standing up and reaching out for my hand. He led me away from the table and then pulled me close as he started to turn us. He held my hand with his right and my waist with his left. We danced slowly, so close together. The swaying of our bodies and the look in his eyes were hypnotic, and the feeling of his body next to mine and his scent, intoxicating.

The Drifters' "Save the Last Dance for Me" broke the spell. We danced much faster to that one; Brian kept spinning me until I felt dizzy and a little high. At the end of the song, neither of us could help laughing and smiling.

Then, Brian kissed my lips gently and asked, "Are you ready for the second part of our date?"

I just nodded, still grinning like a fool.

Before we left the grove, I managed the snag the mix CD Brian had made. At the moment, I was sitting sideways on Brian's lap in the limo, with my head on his shoulder. He had both arms wrapped around me. Suddenly, the limo stopped. I was loathe to leave Brian's arms, so he actually carried me outside, finally sitting us down on a wooden bench, with me still on his lap. I looked around. We were in the most beautiful garden I'd ever seen. We were surrounded by so many types of flowers I couldn't even count them, including quite a few I'd never even seen before. The warm summer breeze, the sweet scent of flowers, and the bright crescent moon above us, tinged pink, made for a perfectly romantic moment.

Brian turned my face toward him with a finger and stated, "Angel, I hid a great many things from you for a long time. Fortunately, our friends and family took it upon themselves to share most of those with you. However, one more secret remains untold, one that no one else could possibly have shared with you."

I stopped breathing, as I waited for him to continue.

"I've been told that many lovers like to know the moment when their significant others knew they'd fallen in love with them."

I just nodded. I felt dazed.

Brian cleared his throat.

He looked deep into my eyes, and, almost in a whisper, he continued, "I suspected that I was falling for you…that first night (my eyes widened), which is why I told you I loved you the first time."

I exclaimed, "I didn't even know you remembered that!"

He shrugged. "I pretended not to remember, but I remembered everything involving us. So I suspected that first night…but I didn't know for sure until the night of your prom, in the parking garage. As I looked into your eyes and kissed your lips, I knew."

My chest constricted, and I sent my lips crashing down onto Brian's, kissing him passionately, devouring him really. After a couple of minutes, he pulled away and asked, "Don't you want your present?

I asked eagerly, "Present?"

Brian nodded slowly and pulled something out of his pocket.

He confessed, "I should have given this to you for your birthday last year. If only I had…"

Confusion evident in my voice, I asked, "What?"

Brian swallowed hard and replied, "I bought it for you last year, but, then, I didn't give it to you. I was still…anyway, I had it engraved today. So here."

Then, he slipped something into my hand. It was a ring. A ring! It was a band of frosted platinum, dusted with gold.

"Oh God…"

Brian urged, "Read it."

Tears filled my eyes, as I read, "Angel, my heart beats only for you."

Brian cleared his throat, blinked a few times, and said, "I stole it. From Verlaine."

He would have said more, but I silenced him with a deep kiss.

Then, I pulled away and slipped the ring on my ring finger. It fit perfectly.

I breathed, "I adore it. It's so beautiful."

Again, he pretended not to hear me, but he held me tighter.

Then, he asked, "So…would you mind if I showed you off?"

I tilted my head and smiled. I repeated, "Showed me off how?"

"I've been wooing a client on and off for some time, and I just learned that he's in town again. I told him about this party…it's kind of like an after party, but it doesn't come after anything. Anyhow, the party's tonight, and I know he'll be attending."

I beamed. "You want to introduce me to a potential client?"

Brian nodded slowly, a hopeful look on his face.

I laughed. "Of course, I'd love to meet him."

Brian studied me as he asked, "Are you sure you don't mind? The party won't exactly match the timbre of the evening thus far…"

I smiled. "I figured. Yes, I'm sure."

I moved to stand, but Brian picked me up again and carried me to the car. He set me inside, spoke with the driver for a minute, and then climbed in beside me.

I asked, "What was that about?"

Brian replied, "I told him to go the long way."

Brian's serious expression when he answered made me a little nervous, shy nervous.

Brian kneeled in front of me and kissed me slow. So slow and deep. Then, he pulled away a little and stated, his voice husky, "I don't deserve this, but God I want it. So much. I'm so lucky you came back. Back from the coma, back from Ethan, back from that dark place. I need you alive and happy, and I need you with me. Always. I tried pushing you away for your own good, but I'm no Rick Blaine. I can't ever make you leave and then walk off into the sunset with 'a friend,' acting all hopeful. All my hope lies in you, Angel. I'm no longer capable of being noble, if I ever was. "

I laughed. "And I don't want to go fight the good fight, not without you."

Brian brushed his lips against mine and, then, kissed me ravenously. His intensity set my heart to beating triple time and my body to trembling.

After a few minutes, Brian pulled away, leaving me breathless and desperate for his touch. He gently removed all my clothes, as though I might break if he were too rough. Then, he just gazed at me.

He stated softly, "You're so beautiful, Angel."

He ran his hands all over me, until he'd touched every single part of my body. Then, he quickly removed all his clothing and took out some lube and a condom. He opened me up quickly, sheathed himself, gently placed my legs on his shoulders, and slowly started pushing inside me, all the while gazing into my eyes. I bit my lip, arched my back, and pushed down so that in one swift movement, Brian's cock was buried all the way inside me. We both moaned.

He ran his hands gently over my back as he angled his hips and started thrusting. I licked my lips, and Brian, ever perceptive when it came to me, leaned in further, licked my lower lip, and, then, thrust his tongue inside my mouth, exploring every inch. I moaned softly in his mouth. Brian pumped me slow, despite the fact that he needed release so badly that I could feel his body shaking. I was in a similar state.

Unexpectedly, Brian pulled out of me and moved back far enough so that he could engulf my cock with his mouth, which he did. He slid his hands under my ass and squeezed my cheeks gently as he pushed upward, so that my cock penetrated his throat. He moaned, and the vibrations sent a thrill throughout my body. I threw back my head and moaned, too. Brian sucked my cock hard and pushed my ass up on every downstroke so that my cock penetrated his throat every time. Soon I was panting, moaning, and quivering, aching for release. Brian, seeming to perceive my desperate need, quickened the pace until I exploded in his mouth with a shout (well, a few shouts), "Oh, Ohhh, Ohhhhh," a white-hot heat spreading out from my groin to every part of my body, even my scalp.

Brian flipped me over, quickly but gently, placing me on my knees in front of him. Then, he thrust inside me as he whispered in my ear, "I love you, Angel."

I whispered back, "I love you, too, Master," as he caressed my belly, licked and sucked on my neck, and thrust faster and faster. A few moments later, he nuzzled my neck, slid his hands up my chest, and held me tight, as he thrust one last time and came with a guttural moan. He didn't move for a long moment; he just held me and breathed me in. Finally, we separated; the cold emptiness I felt caused me to whimper. After he'd discarded the condom, he sat me back on the seat and kissed my lips gently.

Then, he stated softly, "We should dress. We're almost there."

I couldn't help but beam as Brian put my clothes back on and smiled at me. So far, the night had been absolutely perfect, better than I could ever have imagined.

Brian and I exited the limousine. We were at an abandoned warehouse in the Strip District. Near the top of the building, I could make out "United States Steel," though the paint had faded quite a bit. The warehouse was built right on the shore of the Monongahela River. Maybe 400 yards away, I could see an abandoned plant. It had probably supplied this warehouse in the 1950s. Nearby, there were railroad tracks running parallel to the river. Truly an urban wasteland. I hadn't had the urge to paint in a while, not since the rape, but this scene, in many ways, evoked feelings similar to those I'd experienced, still experienced, as a result of what Ethan and Hobbs had done to me. Desolation. Powerlessness. Hopelessness. I noted as many details as I could so I'd be able to paint it later.

Suddenly, Brian slipped his hand in mine, startling me and pulling me out of my head, banishing the dark thoughts therein, for the moment anyway. He smiled at me and asked softly, "You coming, Angel?"

I couldn't help but smile back. I smiled even more brightly when he ran a finger over my ring. It glinted brilliantly in the moonlight, reminding me that, even in the wasteland of my heart, there was hope. In fact, I held all my hope and my greatest source of happiness in my hand.

Once we entered the warehouse, Brian pulled his hand out of mine and placed it on the small of my back. God I loved possessive Brian. He guided me to a makeshift table in the very back beside an area being used as a dance floor.

Brian nodded at the person sitting there, a relatively attractive middle-aged man. He had all his hair (it was dirty blonde), and he was slim.

The man smiled and exclaimed, "Brian, you made it! Who's this handsome young man?"

Brian replied, "Justin, this is Kenneth Mayer. He's with GlaxoSmithKline's Consumer Division, the leading provider of oral health care products, nutritional drinks, and over the counter medicines in the country. Kenneth, this is my partner Justin Taylor."

Kenneth nodded in approval after sizing me up. "Lucky man."

My eyes widened when I heard Brian respond softly, "Indeed I am."

We joined Kenneth on a bench sitting against a wall. The table had been pulled up to it. Brian placed his arm around me and then scanned the room, probably getting his bearings. Suddenly, he stood up. He pointed toward a makeshift bar at the center. He said, "I'm going to get drinks." Then, he whispered, "Back in a flash, Angel."

I just smiled.

**Brian's POV**

I walked straight up to a disgusting looking middle-aged man near the bar. He had long brown hair, though he was balding, and a long beard. He was at least 20 pounds overweight.

He'd been staring at Justin. In fact, he still was.

I stood next to him and growled, "There a reason you're staring at my boyfriend?"

The man glanced at me, but then turned his attention back to Justin. He replied, "Real kinky fellow that one."

I asked, "He is?"

"Oh yeah. He's into rape fantasies."

I froze. As calmly as possible, I inquired, "How would you know?"

The man chuckled and responded, lust evident in his voice, "I saw it with my own eyes."

It took everything I had in me, and then some, to keep my voice even. I asked, "Did you, now?"

"Yes. Had some wussy musician and a closet case take turns 'raping him.'"

I reacted without even thinking, grabbing the man by the arm and pulling him to the far wall on the other side of the bar. Thankfully, it was pretty dark there, so no one seemed to notice us. Adrenaline coursing through my veins, I grabbed him by the throat and shoved him up against the wall. I hissed menacingly, "What you saw, you son of a bitch, was my boyfriend, who'd been drugged and kidnapped, being raped by people who hate him."

The man's eyes shot open. He sputtered, "What? I…I did-didn't know!"

I shook my head. I accused, "You could have saved him, but, instead, what? You got off on it? You are one sick freak!"

The man's eyes were as wide as saucers. He held his hands up as though to ward me off.

"I swear. I didn't know."

I tightened my grip until I'd cut off the man's airflow. I let the man squirm for a few seconds and then let him fall. He landed with a thud. The man sat on the cement floor coughing for a couple of minutes. Then, I pulled him to a standing position and moved very close to the man's face, glaring at him.

I spat out contemptuously, "You didn't know? Fine. Here's your chance to redeem yourself. Tell me everything. How you got to the abandoned house. Who you were with. Why you were there."

"Ok. Ok. Take it easy, man."

I asked, barely suppressed rage infused in every word, "Take it easy? You've got to be fucking kidding!"

Then, more calmly, I asked, "You have any sisters?"

Confused, the man replied warily, "Yeah, one."

In an even tone, I said, "Ok. Suppose I'd witnessed her being raped and suppose that not only did I not rescue her but I also started telling people how kinky she was…How much would you be liking me?"

Gravely, the man replied, "Point taken. Um…I went to the house with Saperstein, you know, the guy who owns Babylon."

I nodded. "I know him."

"Uh, Saperstein was there to sell to the wuss and the closet case."

I couldn't help but kick myself for being such an asshole with Justin about letting the Sap blow him. Maybe then Justin would have felt comfortable telling me what had happened at that party. If the Sap had been prosecuted then, he might not have been able to supply Ian and Hobbs.

I sighed and inquired, "What was he selling them?"

"I thought it was coke."

The man looked down. He continued hesitantly, "But…it could have been…it could have been…the drugs they were subduing the kid with."

I nodded slowly and looked down, forcing back tears with sheer willpower. I looked back up and asked, "Why were you with Saperstein?"

The man shrugged. "He has good drugs. He likes sucking people off. Sometimes, we hang out."

I narrowed my eyes and suggested in a voice that clearly revealed the disgust and rage I felt, "In the future, I hope you are more mindful of the company you keep."

I paused, but then continued, my voice breaking a little, "And the next time you happen upon a 'rape fantasy,' double check that it's not someone's waking nightmare."

The man nodded, a remorseful look in his eyes.

I sighed. "Let me see your wallet."

The man looked confused.

I snapped impatiently, "I'm not going to rob you. I just want to see your ID."

The man handed his wallet over.

I looked at his ID carefully, noting the man's name and address and hoping it wasn't fake. Then I declared, "The cops will be visiting you. If you have a soul, if you love your sister, you'll tell them all you know and testify. After everything, that is the least you can do. The very least."

The man nodded. "Ok."

I growled, "Now get the hell out of here."

The man didn't hesitate. He headed toward the door. I took a business card and a pen out of my pants pocket, which thanks to the flowy nature of the design, was quite spacious, wrote down the man's information, and then followed him out to the parking lot. I looked around until I spotted the car he'd climbed into and then copied down the license plate number. A little insurance couldn't hurt. Then, I pulled out my cell phone and dialed Deb's number.

When I heard Carl's sleepy "Hello," I stated simply, "We have a witness."

After speaking with him for a few minutes, I headed to the bar for drinks. I glanced over at Kenneth's table, sighing in relief when I noted that Justin was blissfully ignorant of what had transpired.

**Justin's POV**

Brian and Kenneth had been discussing possible ad campaigns for ten minutes or so. I'd been trying to pay attention, but advertising over-the-counter drugs, even when Brian was discussing it, was not that exciting, and something across the warehouse had caught my eye, that is, a Zach O'Toole-sized cock (looked about 10 inches long and 3-4 inches wide, in other words, freaking huge). My eyes nearly bugged out of my head. Apparently, some of the partygoers had decided to have an orgy. Mr. Freaking Huge was fucking some guy, who was fucking another guy, and that guy was sucking yet another guy off. That guy was also getting fucked by someone who was being fucked by another guy. The guy at the end of that line was being rimmed. Lucky 7. I laughed. I watched them all for a few minutes, but I couldn't keep my eyes off of Mr. Freaking Huge and his partner. I couldn't believe how much the latter was taking, especially since he showed no signs of discomfort. I wondered whether Mr. Freaking Huge was really as big as he seemed from my vantage point. I jumped a little when Brian suddenly asked, amusement evident in his voice, "Do you want to join them?"

I turned to look at him, and, still a little dazed, I inquired, "What?"

Brian chuckled.

Suddenly, I realized that Kenneth was no longer at the table. I asked, "Where'd Kenneth go?"

"Off to find someone to fuck."

I nodded. "Of course. So how'd it go? Is his company going to use your campaign?"

Brian shrugged. "He said he needed to think about it."

I frowned.

Brian nodded toward the orgy and said, "So…you were watching them for a solid five minutes. Did you see someone you like? Do you want to join them?"

I shook my head. Awed, I said, "I was just a little shocked by Mr. Freaking Huge on the left side, at the very end."

Brian inquired, amusement and something else (was that jealousy?) evident in his voice, "Ah…so you just want to be fucked by him or, should I say, that freaking huge cock?"

I giggled. "No! No fucking way would I let that anywhere near me!"

Then I added, "I don't want to fuck Mr. Freaking Huge, and I don't want to join the orgy. Actually, I'm grateful that I'm not among the participants."

Brian looked confused. He asked, "Didn't you enjoy our group activities?"

I smiled. "Of course, I did. But at the time, if you'd asked me which I'd prefer, fucking other people with you or fucking or being fucked by you when we were all alone, I would have chosen the latter every time. I only participated in threesomes, foursomes, and orgies because fucking other people with you was better than watching you fuck other people or knowing that you had when I wasn't there. Fuck, I didn't even want to trick, but…it became a matter of pride."

"A matter of pride?"

I took a deep breath. This was something I'd never told Brian, something I'd never intended to tell him. I answered slowly, "It was a way to make you proud and a way to recoup the pride I'd felt I lost whenever you preferred fucking someone else to fucking me."

Brian swallowed hard and looked down.

Still looking at the cement floor, he admitted softly, "I never preferred fucking anyone else, Angel."

I asked incredulously, "You didn't?"

Brian simply shook his head. But now he was looking at me with such a serious expression in his eyes that it quite literally took my breath away. I was speechless. When I finally found my voice, I laughed and exclaimed, "We're both so fucked up."

Brian smiled and nodded. Then, he said, with amusement in his voice but a serious expression in his eyes, "But I'd like to think we're making progress."

I just stared at him. Gazed was more like it. Every time I thought I couldn't be more in love with Brian, I found that somehow I was. I looked at Brian hungrily. I needed…I didn't even know what exactly. I just wanted to show him how much I loved him. How fucking incredible he was.

Brian wrapped his arms around my waist and set his chin on my shoulder. Then he said, "Look, the orgy has inspired other group activities."

I turned back and saw that half the party was now engaged in threesomes, foursomes, etc. I laughed and exclaimed, "God damn! That was fast."

Then, Brian surprised me by stating evenly, in his sexy dom voice, "Angel, do you see that table over there? Behind Mr. Freaking Huge?"

I looked at the table and then back in Brian's direction, but kept my eyes low. "Yes, Master."

Brian continued, "I want you to give me a little show, Angel. Pay very careful attention to my directions. I'll only tell you once."

I smiled and answered, "Yes, Master." Brian had perceived my need and was indulging me, as had quickly become the norm.

He declared, "I want you to climb onto that table, Angel. Unbutton your shirt very slowly and then let it hang as you rub your cock through your pants and lick your lips. After a minute or two, when you are good and hard, let the shirt fall from your shoulders. Slowly unbutton your pants and let them fall, too. Then, take your cock in your right hand and start jerking off, but slowly, very slowly, while you gently squeeze your balls. I want you to look only at me the entire time, from start to finish. Don't look at anyone else and don't close your eyes, not even to blink. I want you to show me how much you want me. Can do all that for me, Angel?"

I smiled brightly and replied, "Yes, Master." I was eager to find out what he would do afterward. Would he fuck me in front of everyone? How I wanted him to!

**Brian's POV**

Justin slipped his flip flops off and climbed up on top of the table I had pointed out.

As I had asked, Justin unbuttoned his shirt very slowly. He gazed at me while he did so. My cock started to harden the minute I saw the first inch of his chest exposed. He had such beautiful skin. Soft and smooth like alabaster.

He let his shirt fall open after the last button had been unfastened and he began to rub his cock through his pants, just as I had asked. Then, he licked his lips, so slowly. Fuck! My cocked jumped at that. His own cock had grown so hard, I could see it even though his pants were a bit loose. Without even thinking, I licked my lips. I really wanted to suck him off. But not yet.

Justin must have noticed me licking my lips because he smiled naughtily as he rolled his shoulders back slowly and let the shirt fall to the floor. Then he brought his hands to the front of his pants and slowly unbuttoned them. When the last button was unfastened, Justin's cock popped out. I stood up and walked a bit closer. Unbuttoning the few buttons on my shirt that I'd left buttoned earlier. That seemed to have an effect on Justin. His eyes widened a little, and I could tell, even from this far away, that his breathing had grown ragged.

Mine did, too when he took his cock in his right hand and start jerking off. He ran a thumb over the tip and moved his hand slowly, so slowly, over his shaft. I walked even closer, close enough that he'd be able to see what I was about to do, and stopped. Then I started to rub my cock through my pants. He moaned softly as he watched me and then reached down and gently squeezed his balls. I could tell that he was having trouble keeping his eyes open, but somehow he managed it.

Finally, I walked up to the table. I was mouth level with his hard leaking cock. A wave of desire passed through me. I stated huskily, "Turn to the left a bit, Angel."

He complied. I wanted everyone watching, and many, many of the partygoers were, even those who'd been fucking or sucking when he climbed onto the table, to see all that he had to offer.

I asked, "Angel, do you want me to put your cock in my mouth? To take it all? To deepthroat you fast and hard until you cum in my throat?"

Before I had even finished the question, Justin's breathing had grown even more ragged. He half-moaned, half-whispered, "Fuck yes, Master!" in response. I smiled.

Then I slid my hands over his luscious ass and drew him closer, engulfing his cock in one go. The moment I had, he threw back his head and moaned loudly. I started deepthroating him, pulling his ass toward me as I slid my lips over his shaft on each downstroke to be sure the tip of his cock entered my throat and swallowed each time. Justin continued to moan as I sucked him off. Everything, the feel of his hard member in my mouth, the sounds he was making, and my awareness of the gaping onlookers, together made my cock painfully erect. It was actually throbbing.

Suddenly, Justin let out an even louder moan, a guttural moan really, and he came. I swallowed his cum greedily and then pulled back. When I licked his cock from base to tip, to make sure I'd gotten it all, he shuddered.

Then, I took his hand and helped him down. The moment his feet touched the cement, I spun him around and bent him over the table. Justin laughed and whispered, "I was hoping that you'd fuck me, Master."

I freed my cock, sheathed it quickly, and slicked it with lube. All that took me less than a minute. Then, I pushed my cock all the way inside him. He grunted. I slid my hands up and down his soft smooth back and then grabbed his hips and started fucking him hard.

A couple minutes later, I breathed, "Is this what you wanted, Angel?"

He half-whispered, half-moaned, "Yes, Master. Oh yes!"

I smiled and ran a finger over his cock, which was now rock hard again. Justin still had the shortest refractory period of any man I'd ever known.

I angled my hips so that the tip of my cock hit his prostate. He arched his back and moaned loudly in response.

I half-grunted, half-whispered, "Lean back on my chest, Angel."

When he did, I tilted his head and attacked his lips as I fucked him, kissing him passionately.

I'd been delaying my orgasm with willpower alone, but soon I could no longer do so. I broke our kiss and moaned a deep body moan as I came. Justin soon followed with a shout, "Fuck yeah!"

I chuckled. Once we'd caught our breath, I discarded the condom, buttoned up, and then started dressing Justin. He leaned back into me and stepped into his pants, and, as I kissed his neck, I buttoned them. I turned him around, slid his shirt back on, and buttoned it. Then I took his hand and led him back to the table. He was smiling so brightly that I couldn't help but smile back.

When we reached the table, Kenneth was there. Justin nodded a hello, put his shoes back on, and sat down.

Kenneth shot Justin an appreciative look and took me aside, exclaiming, "Justin's beautiful." He was talking to me, but still looking at him.

I smiled, but I was becoming uncomfortable. I agreed, "I certainly think so."

Then, Kenneth looked at me and inquired tentatively, "Any chance…"

I cut him off, stating evenly, "We're monogamous."

Kenneth sighed and looked at Justin once more, this time sadly. "Pity. You're a lucky man."

I just nodded. No one knew that better than I did.

Kenneth turned to leave, but then, almost as an afterthought, he looked back at me and said, "Call me on Monday. We'll discuss terms."

I laughed and replied, "Will do."

He smiled and then left.

I shook my head. I thought for sure he'd turn me down out of spite. I walked back over to Justin. Once there, I pulled him to a standing position, picked him up, and spun him around.

Justin laughed and then asked excitedly, "Does that mean that Kenneth wants to use you?"

I set Justin down and replied, "Yup. And I have you to thank for it."

Justin looked confused. He said, "But I didn't do anything."

I smiled. "You were just you, but that made all the difference. I've met with him in boardrooms and offices and at sundry parties, but he always said no. Until now. It must have been you."

Justin laughed and shook his head. "In any case, I'm so happy for you!"

Snagging Kenneth was a huge relief. I hadn't told Justin this, but I'd been in the doghouse for taking so much time off to be with him. This would get Vance off my back. Justin was still my lucky charm.

I asked, "So are you ready to go?"

He smiled and answered brightly, "Yes. Let's go home."

I took his hand, threaded our fingers together, and led him outside, where the limo was waiting.


	31. Getting Back to 'Normal'

**Justin's POV**

I entered the loft and tossed my bag across the room. It landed in the kitchen with a loud thud. I threw myself on the couch and buried my head in my hands. Suddenly, my cell phone rang. I retrieved it from my pocket with one hand. My head was still buried in the other.

Gruffly, I answered, "Hello."

Brian snarked, but with amusement in his voice, "Is that any way to greet your Master, Angel?"

I laughed softly. I was still in awe of the effect Brian had on me. Just hearing his voice caused me to relax, to smile. I replied apologetically, "I'm sorry, Master. I…I didn't even look before I picked up."

**Brian's POV**

I wondered what was wrong. Justin sounded tired or, rather, like he'd suffered some disappointment.

I asked, in as nonchalant a voice as I could manage, "How was school?"

**Justin's POV**

I didn't answer. I didn't want to tell Brian that I wouldn't be going to school, not for a while, because the moment I did, it would become real. I just sighed and closed my eyes tightly, trying hard to push down my anger, at Ethan, at PIFA's administrators.

**Brian's POV**

I was becoming anxious. This was the first day in quite a while that we'd been separated for any substantial length of time. Even when we hadn't been together, I hadn't worried because I'd left him with Daphne. I attempted to keep my anxiety out of my voice (Whatever was bothering Justin would only be made worse by any negativity on my part). So in a bright but soft voice, I urged, "Tell me, Angel."

**Justin's POV**

Despite my attempts to suppress my anger, I was still so angry and frustrated that I felt like crying. When would it end? Would the rape take over every aspect of my life? I sighed again, but then hesitantly answered Brian's question. "I…I was kicked out of school."

**Brian's POV**

My eyes shot open. I was angry and surprised, of course, but I kept my voice even as I inquired, "What reason did they give you?"

In a voice that barely rose above a whisper, he replied, "Ethan…"

I clenched my jaw and started tapping my pen on my desk. Softly, I said, "I'm going to need a little more, Angel."

**Justin's POV**

I explained bitterly, "PIFA's administrators had concerns about my returning to school. They worried that my attending this semester would serve as a 'disruptive influence' because Ethan is about to stand trial for raping me, a fellow PIFA student. They were also concerned about my ability to keep up with my studies during such an 'emotionally grueling' time. They suggested that I put all my energy into getting past my traumatic experience."

I gritted my teeth as I uttered the last sentence. What the fuck did they think I'd been doing? I suddenly had the urge to smash something. I clenched my fists for a moment, but then sighed and continued, "But whatever I do, I am not welcome there. Not until after the trial."

**Brian's POV**

While Justin was speaking, I had 'tapped' my pen so hard on my desk that the tip actually broke. Black ink was leaking from the gaping hole I'd inadvertently made and pooling up around the broken tip. But I didn't care. I didn't move an inch to clean it up, something I would normally have jumped to do, anal retentive freak that I am.

This was not good. As is, Justin still struggled with feelings of helplessness. And who could blame him? I'd helped him to take back ownership of his body. But he still had nightmares. And now this. He needed to get more control back. I took a deep breath and declared evenly, "So…we'll talk to Mel. See what your options are. There has to be a way to fight this."

**Justin's POV**

I sighed.

I said despondently, "Maybe we shouldn't bother."

What the hell was the point? If I spent days or weeks fighting their decision, I'd only fall further behind. Even if I did return to school this semester, I might need to count it as a loss, that is, if I couldn't catch up. In some ways, I wouldn't be able to anyway. Every day I missed class, I missed valuable time practicing techniques my professors demonstrated. It might be better simply to wait until spring and re-enroll in this semester's classes. Of course I might not be able to do that. The first segments of some two-part courses were only offered in the fall.

**Brian's POV**

I dropped my pen in the pool of ink and clenched my fist. But somehow I managed to keep the rage out of my voice.

I inquired softly, "Why is that, Angel?"

**Justin's POV**

I thought about the implications of what PIFA's administrators had said. When it got out that a PIFA student, a male student, had accused Ethan of raping him, most would probably laugh. Few men would admit that it's even possible to rape a man. On top of that, people who knew Ethan probably wouldn't believe me. It could get ugly. In fact, it most assuredly would.

I replied slowly, "Well…I was angry, I am angry about this, but maybe they're right. Ethan had a lot of friends. I can't even imagine what they'll say about me. Plus, no one wants to admit that they're vulnerable to crime. Most men, even if they didn't know Ethan, would probably think I was lying. It would be hard to face so much hatred at PIFA while also dealing with a trial. I've already missed so much school. I might not be able to catch up."

**Brian's POV**

I pinched the bridge of my nose. Justin was right of course. Now that the rape had been made public, Justin was sure to face a great deal of anger and prejudice. Homophobic people would probably think Justin had gotten what was coming to him. Homosexuality was a sin, after all. That is, according to religious types. Others just thought it was unnatural. Then, of course, generally speaking, men wouldn't want to believe that Justin had been raped because that might mean that they were not immune to that particular crime. Even if some did believe him, they would want to blame him. For the same reason. Then there were Ian's friends and family members, as well as students with whom he'd attended class. They wouldn't want to think of him as capable of such a monstrous act.

For a moment, I wavered. I could be with Justin at all times outside of school, and probably would be, but at PIFA, I couldn't protect him. But…Justin needed to stand on his own two feet, to know that he was capable of it.

So I stated in a soft voice, "That doesn't sound like the intrepid twink I know…Of course, it's your decision, Angel, but you don't want small-minded fools running your life, do you?"

**Justin's POV**

As I'd thought about what I'd be facing if I kept going to school, all my anger and frustration had quickly been replaced by fear and shame. Everyone, whatever they thought, would stare at me and whisper to friends as I walked by, and many, perhaps most, would bear me ill will. Who knows what they would say or do.

Still, I didn't want my life to be run by "small-minded fools." Even more, I didn't want to disappoint Brian. I wanted him to be proud of me. Hell, I wanted to be proud of myself. I hadn't allowed the jerks at St. James Academy to make me ashamed of myself, to make me hide who I was, and, in large part thanks to Brian, I hadn't let Hobbs scare me away from the Pride celebration. With Brian's help, I'd become comfortable in my own skin again, shaking off the fear the bashing had caused.

So though I wasn't sure I'd be up to the challenge, I stated firmly, "No. I don't."

**Brian's POV**

I knew Justin had to be scared. Anyone who'd been through as much as he had would be. I was so fucking proud of him at that moment that I smiled brightly, not quite a Sunshine smile, but close.

Then, I stated resolutely, "And I'll be right there with you while you dispute their decision…"

I added (mostly joking), hoping to lighten the somber mood this topic had inspired, "And even at PIFA, if you want."

**Justin's POV**

I laughed. Amused, I asked, "You're going to walk me to all my classes?"

Brian chuckled. "Sure, why not? I'll even sit through them all with you if you want me to."

I laughed as I imagined Brian in my life drawing class complimenting the model's cock.

Then I said, in as serious a voice as I could manage (I was still laughing), "I don't think that that will be necessary."

Brian retorted, "Afraid I'll embarrass you?"

I giggled and replied, "I know you will!"

In a mock hurt voice, he stated, "You wound me."

Despite the joking tone Brian had used, I knew that he would actually walk me to my classes and even stay with me during if I asked. But I couldn't do that. Just the fact that he'd offered made me feel stronger, more like myself. After taking a deep breath, I informed Brian, "Ok. Let's talk to Mel. I can't let them get away with this."

**Brian's POV**

I grinned. I declared brightly, "That's more like it."

Then in a softer voice, I drawled, "Do you miss me, Angel?"

**Justin's POV**

I whispered, "Yes, Master. So much."

Lately, I had become used to Brian being with me when the waters became rocky. His constant presence had such a calming effect on me that even when he didn't say a word, I felt comforted, safe.

Brian drawled, "I could come home for lunch…but only if you are _very_ good."

I breathed, "I want to be, Master."

Brian chuckled. "I know you do, Angel. I'll be home at 12:15 on the dot. When I walk through that door, I want you naked, your skin all warm and damp from a hot shower, lying on the bed. I also want to see your cock hard and leaking, so a few minutes before I arrive, I want you to start jerking off slowly while thinking of me. Did you get all that, Angel?"

I smiled brightly. "Yes, Master."

Suddenly, the loft door slid open. I looked up in surprise. It was Daphne. She set a couple of suitcases on the floor inside the loft and then disappeared for a moment. I was too stunned to speak. In a flash, Daphne was back, this time pushing a folded up cot (the kind with a real mattress and retractable wheels on the middle legs).

Daphne grinned at me and said, "Hi, Justin! I thought you'd be at school."

I shook my head. "Don't ask."

"Ok…well, I'm going back downstairs to get the rest of my stuff. Back in a couple of minutes."

**Brian's POV**

I'd heard Daphne's voice and had been patiently waiting for the third degree.

Eventually, Justin asked, "Why is Daphne here? How did she get a key?"

I answered, just as cool as you please, "I made her one. She's going to be staying with us for a while."

I knew that Justin would need all the support he could get. Even more so now that he had to battle PIFA as well as Ian and Hobbs.

Probably in shock, Justin asked, "Do you know how much stuff she's got? She brought a cot and two suitcases and then went back for more. How long is she staying?"

I replied nonchalantly, "Oh I don't know. For a few months. She's going to sublet her apartment. Bring in a little extra money."

Justin exclaimed, "A few months?"

I replied brightly, "Yup."

Justin asked incredulously, "You're actually okay with that?"

Justin had every reason to doubt that I would be. I liked my privacy. I did allow people in my space, but not for very long. Generally, I had them in and out as quickly as possible. Mikey was allowed to stay longer than most, but not to spend the night. So far, Justin had been the only exception to all my privacy rules. I needed Justin, and Justin needed Daphne, especially now, so she was allowed long visits and even overnights.

More softly, I responded, "Sometimes I need to work late. I don't want you to get lonely. Plus, I imagine that you'll want to start planning the ceremony. I've heard that best friends come in handy for that sort of thing."

Justin breathed, "You never cease to amaze me, Brian Kinney."

A little uncomfortable with the compliment, especially given the awe in Justin's voice, I looked down and muttered, "Well, I suppose I should get back to work…"

**Justin's POV**

I was suddenly overwhelmed with love for Brian. I had loved Brian since the day we met, but there were moments in which I felt that love more intensely, much, much more intensely; these moments had been occurring with much greater frequency since we'd reunited.

I interjected, my voice low, "Brian…"

"Yes?"

I flushed a bit as I gently drew a finger over the ring Brian had given me the night before and said softly, "I love you."

After an unbearably long pause, just as softly, Brian replied, "I love you, too, Angel."

I smiled. "See you at 12:15."

Brian drawled, "Later, Angel."

"Later, Master." I shivered and smiled brightly. Calling Brian that gave me a thrill. Every single time.

After Daphne had set up her cot and her dresser (in the far right corner of the loft) and had put away some of her clothing while I told her about my meeting at school, she ran off to class. I still had an hour before Brian was due to arrive so I decided to start working on the painting that had begun taking shape in my mind when I first saw the warehouse, along with the abandoned plant, the railroad tracks, and the Monongahela River's dark water quietly lapping at the shore, the night before. I walked over to the chaise and carefully moved it aside. Then, I picked up a big heavy crate that had been sitting in the corner behind the chaise since the day I'd brought it from Ethan's. My painting supplies.

Before…just before, I'd done most of my work in the studio at school, but I'd brought some canvases, an easel, and paints to Ethan's just in case I was struck with inspiration at night. I hadn't touched the box in some time. I hadn't felt like doing much of anything, let alone painting. I set the box down carefully (I didn't want to scratch the floor) and opened it. I laid a drop cloth down and set up my easel and bench, slowly setting out tubes of paint and brushes.

When I reached into the crate to grab a fresh canvas, I saw the last painting I'd been working on. I'd started it during one of the lonely nights I'd spent without Brian. Ethan had been sleeping peacefully, but I'd kept tossing and turning. I hadn't been able to get that look on Brian's face right before I'd turned to leave the Rage party out of my mind. It'd haunted me. That night, every time I closed my eyes, that image appeared. So I had crawled out of bed and had started painting those eyes…the surprise, the unspeakable pain…

Suddenly, I thrust the half-finished painting back into the crate and took out a fresh canvas. I set it on the easel, but then just stared at it, motionless. I couldn't dislodge that image from my mind. It caused me even greater pain than before. None of the excuses that, together, had become a mantra for me (during the affair and after) helped. They seemed worse than empty. They accused me. Implicated me.

Brian had loved me at least since the prom, but during the year following, I had allowed doubt and fear, and everyone else's observations and opinions, to color the way I saw him. Brian was not perfect by any means. But still…I couldn't help but wonder helplessly why I hadn't been more patient… couldn't help but wonder when I'd started to think of myself not as the sole person who understood Brian, but as one of "them." Yet another victim of Brian's thoughtlessness. Another person Brian regularly disappointed. When I thought of everything that had been revealed at the "intervention" and everything Brian had done the night of my second prom and since, I felt sick.

I brushed away a tear and looked down. As I did, I just happened to catch sight of my watch. 11:45. Crud. The time had passed so quickly. I placed the lid back on the crate carefully, moved the chaise back to its original position, and rushed off to take a shower.

*******

**Justin's POV**

Brian slid the door open and entered the loft. I was stroking my cock slowly, remembering the night before, when he had sucked me off center stage in a warehouse full of people. When Brian caught sight of me, his eyes widened a little, but, as the seconds passed and his cock hardened, they began to close languidly. He set his briefcase down gently and then started rubbing his cock through his pants. Observing his reaction to what I was doing heightened the pleasure I was experiencing, lending it an urgency the slow pace I had set could not satisfy. Trying to control myself, I bit my lip hard. So hard that I tasted blood. Brian, Master, just stood on the other side of the loft, rubbing his cock lightly through the fabric of his pants.

I watched him closely, waiting for him to do or say something, to give me a clue as to what he wanted, what I should do. My frustration, sexual and otherwise, grew at pace with the seconds without a sign. More than anything, more than ever, I wanted to please Master. Today of all days, I had to, for today, PIFA's administrators had seen the mark of rape upon me and had sent me packing, as though the violence that had been perpetrated on my body were contagious. They had effectively punished me for being raped. I desperately wanted to believe that that was unfair, that I had done nothing wrong, but the unfinished painting of Brian belied that notion. I had let Ethan poison me, not only figuratively but also literally. Both had caused Brian unspeakable pain and had led to my being raped. No matter how many times and in how many ways Brian told me that nothing I had done had precipitated the rape, I had difficulty separating it from what had come before. I had done wrong, and I had been punished. Fuck, I was still being punished. Part of me felt that I had gotten, was getting, exactly what I deserved. Part of me felt that I deserved much worse.

I desperately wanted to be worth Brian's love. Worth his forgiveness. But I had no idea how to please him. I had no idea what he wanted. Should I ask? Or was what he wanted for me to anticipate his desires? Shouldn't I know intuitively how to please my Master? I tried to remember...what had he said exactly? He'd said he could come home for lunch, and, thinking back to the schedule, I noted that today was Monday.

On impulse, I crawled off the bed, onto the floor, and all the way across the room, dragging the fluffy white carpet along with me. Master watched, his face impassive as ever. I got up on my knees and resumed stroking my cock with one hand and added my other to his, rubbing his cock through his pants. When Master moved his own hand away, I unbuttoned and unzipped his pants and the slid them down (good thing I'm ambidextrous). Then I laid down on the floor, pulling him with me so that he was straddling my chest. I pulled his pants and shoes off, placed the tip of his hard cock into my mouth, and looked up at him with pleading eyes. He immediately placed his hands flat on the floor and began fucking my mouth, moving his hips slowly, sinuously. I moaned around his cock, eliciting a grunt from him as he struggled to maintain the slow pace he'd set. Then I again began stroking my now purple cock, again at an agonizingly slow speed.

Master lifted up his hands and removed first his suit jacket and then his dress shirt, one button at a time, looking down at me with dancing eyes. My eyes roamed his exposed skin hungrily. I loved it when he teased me. He had such a beautiful body. Suddenly he quickened the pace, fucking my mouth with an urgency that nearly drove me insane. I wanted to cum so badly that I was near tears. Then just as suddenly he stopped and pulled back. He just stared at me. I immediately rolled over and started rubbing my cock against the soft rug beneath me, spreading my legs wide. Master, doing what I expected, what I hoped he'd do, slid his bare cock between my ass cheeks, back and forth, establishing a steady rhythm. The pressure of his cock against my entrance sent a delicious shiver throughout my body, a trill of pleasure. I arched my back and rubbed my cock harder against the rug. I was sweating and panting. Master was hardly immune. His breath was ragged. When I was nearly overwhelmed with frustrated desire, my consciousness slowly slipping away, my body beginning to float, or so it seemed, Master placed his hands on my ass and slid his cock between my cheeks faster and faster. Moments later, he came with a half-whisper, half-moan, "Angel," spilling his seed all over my back. Then I let out a guttural shout, cumming all over the rug, my orgasm tearing through my body almost painfully. Master mopped up the cum on my back and on the carpet with his dress shirt. I moved to face him, sitting on a dry patch of the rug, just as he pulled a slip of paper from his jacket pocket. He tossed it into my lap. On it was scrawled, "I want to fuck your mouth, Angel, but I want to cum all over the soft ivory skin of your back, with you lying on the white rug."

My eyes widened. I asked incredulously, "This was a test? Of my ability to anticipate your desires?"

Brian nodded. Then he kissed my lips gently. "I needed to show you that you alone know what I want…"

I added, my voice barely rising above a whisper, "and that you alone know what I need."

Brian chuckled. Then he chastised me gently, "You know how I feel about your finishing my sentences."

He nudged my nose. "I should punish you, but…"

His lips caught mine in a passionate kiss that left me breathless. "But I guess I can let it go, just this once."


	32. From Bad to Worse

Justin's POV

In the middle of the night, somehow sensing that Brian was no longer in bed with me, I awoke. Still sleepy, I rubbed my eyes and yawned as I looked around the loft. Finally, I saw him. Brian was sitting on the couch in his royal blue silk robe smoking and staring at the easel, which now held my half-finished painting. My entire body tensed up. How had he happened to find it? In my haste to prepare for his arrival earlier that day, had I left the top of the crate off?

I quickly crawled out of bed and slipped a pair of royal blue silk pajama bottoms on (they were Brian's; Lindsay had bought him pajamas to match his robe last Christmas). The only illumination was moonlight streaming in through the windows. Daphne was sound asleep on her cot, snoring softly. I approached Brian slowly, hesitantly. I was terribly anxious, unsure how he would respond to the painting. Part of me wanted to rip it off the easel. But he'd already seen it. The damage was already done. When Brian caught sight of me, he patted his lap. He whispered, "Come sit, Angel."

I was so relieved that he wasn't angry that I almost jumped into his lap. Then I began to nuzzle his neck. God, he smelled so good, and he was so warm! I wanted to stay in that exact position forever. He slipped his arms around my waist and leaned his head against mine.

Unexpectedly, he suggested, "You should finish it."

I looked up at him in surprise, my eyes wide. "You want me to?"

"Why wouldn't I? In it, you've captured so much. It's brilliant."

I hesitated for a moment, but then asked nervously, "It doesn't bother you?"

Brian shook his head. In a husky voice, he declared, "It's real. Just like everything you paint, even the abstract stuff. That's part of who you are as an artist. One of your best qualities in fact. You fearlessly explore everything and reproduce that on canvas and poster board. You force your audience to face unpleasant aspects of themselves and of the world. I'm honored to be one of your subjects. I like knowing that I inspire you. Even in dark times."

I whispered, "You do. I was haunted by that expression for weeks. I couldn't stop myself from painting it."

Brian stared into my eyes for a long, intense moment and then nudged my nose, kissed my lips gently, and thrust his tongue into my mouth, kissing me deeply, but slow. He said so much with that kiss. Even though we were communicating more verbally, he was still accustomed to conveying the more difficult to share emotions with his body. He wrapped his arms more tightly around me and then pushed me back onto the couch so that he was lying on top of me. He started laying open-mouthed kisses down my chest and had just begun to pull down the pajama bottoms when the phone rang. Normally, he would have ignored it. This time, however, he sat straight up and lunged for it (it was sitting on the desk). His voice trembled as he answered, "Hello?" (This made me very nervous. Brian could keep his cool in nearly every situation. I couldn't imagine what would cause such a reaction. Actually, I could, and that scared the hell out of me.)

Brian was facing away from me, probably to hide his reactions to whomever had called, but I could still see the tension in his body. When he dropped his head and started clenching a fist, I knew it was bad. As soon as he set the phone back on the cradle, I asked softly, "What was that all about?"

Through gritted teeth, Brian replied, "That son of a bitch judge let both of them out on bail."

I didn't need to ask who. I shivered.

Brian's POV

The fear and the guilt were back. Remembering that nightmarish drive to pick Justin up after, after, _it_ happened, after _the rape_,I forced myself to articulate in my thoughts, I was nearly overwhelmed by guilt and fear. Before I had not been able to protect what was most precious to me in all the world. Would I be able to do so now? Cold fear, more intense than I had ever experienced, gripped my heart. I had never felt so powerless in all my life. I looked back at Justin and saw that same fear mirrored in his eyes. Suddenly, the phone rang.

"Hello," I muttered.

Mel's sharp voice barked back at me. At the moment, it seemed that nothing had ever sounded so beautiful.

"I spoke with the DA. He's nearly useless, which you could probably have guessed, since he couldn't stop the judge from granting bail. So I called a friend who knows that scumbag judge. Apparently, he's a self-hating closet case. I was hoping that he was somehow linked to Hobbes or Gold. That would have made everything very simple. You know, the DA could have asked that he be removed, and his ruling overturned, due to a conflict of interest. But internalized hatred and bigotry is nearly impossible to prove and wouldn't necessarily help anyway. I'm going to call a few more friends from law school and see what else I can dig up on this judge. (She suddenly fell silent. After a few moments, she continued, her voice shaking.) Brian…I…I promise…I'll find a way to get them back in jail, and, after that, the DA won't be able to choose what kind of coffee he wants without me in his face asking him why a latte rather than an espresso."

"Thanks, Mel."

As soon as I clicked the phone off, it rang again.

"Hello."

"Brian, it's Carl. I sent four of my best guys over. Two will sit in front of your building, and two, in the back. We're also watching the airport. That's all I was able to do through proper channels, but I called two buddies from the academy. They're in the private sector. They're willing to tail Gold and Hobbs, but it'll cost."

I interjected, "Money's no object."

"Okay, good. I'll let them know."

"Thanks, Carl."

He laughed. "Hey, don't thank me. Debbie threatened to cut me off if I didn't keep her Sunshine safe."

I returned the phone to the cradle and moved back to the couch. Then, I pulled Justin into my arms and held him tight. I whispered words I wished I could believe, "Don't worry. We'll keep you safe. I'll keep you safe, Angel."

I felt like laughing when Justin relaxed in my arms. As always, he trusted me, and in my ability to protect him. Completely. I vowed to be worthy of that trust. Whatever it took.


	33. Truth or Dare, Revisited

Brian's POV

It was Saturday night. Several days had passed without incident, but Justin and I were both still on edge, so I decided to take drastic measures. I invited Mikey, Ben, Emmett, and Ted over. For the occasion, Emmett prepared trays of hors d'oeuvres, Mikey and Ben and Ted brought wine, and I rolled a few joints. A couple hours into the merriment (and after two of the joints), I suggested, "Let's play Truth or Dare."

Everyone but Justin and Daphne looked at me as though I'd morphed into the Jolly Green Giant. But they didn't object. We turned the lights off and lit some candles I had in case the power went out. Then, Justin and I sat on the couch (with him on my lap), Mikey and Ben sat to our left on the floor, Ted pulled a chair up next to them, Daphne sat next to us on the couch, and Emmett sat on the floor next to her.

Justin was so cute when he was high. At such times, he was always exceptionally affectionate and a little silly. He had his arms around my neck and his head on my shoulder. I slid my arms around his waist and gently rubbed his back.

Mikey piped up, "I'll go first. Emmett, truth or dare?"

"Mmmm…dare."

Mikey's eyes lit up and danced with excitement. "I dare you to go downstairs and kiss the first man who passes by."

Emmett wrinkled his nose, but then smiled brightly. "Ok."

We all went to the window to watch. I was standing behind Justin with my arms around him and my chin resting on his shoulder. Minutes passed. Emmett swung his arms and then clapped his hands gently as he waited somewhat impatiently.

Finally, there was some foot traffic. The first man to head Emmett's way was a bear clad all in leather (with various chains hanging off of him). Emmett grimaced as the man approached, but then put a hand to his chest and sighed in relief when the bear turned down a cross-street. Then something completely unexpected happened. One of the cops guarding the front (his partner was snoozing in the car) approached Emmett, probably wondering whether something was wrong. The cop was kind of hot…stocky, tan, and buff, with sandy blond hair. Mikey gasped. Emmett's eyes grew large. He and the cop chatted for a minute, Emmett smiling weakly and fidgeting. Suddenly, Emmett lunged at him, throwing his arms around the cop's neck and planting one on him (it looked like he was giving the cop tongue). The cop was stunned at first, but then, to our amazement, he kissed Emmett back. He even squeezed Emmett's ass. We were all laughing, hooting, and hollering (especially Daphne; she was even louder and gigglier when high). Emmett came back up and cried out triumphantly, "He could kiss! …and I got his number!"

When we were all seated again, Emmett asked, "Brian, truth or dare?" Justin had a bright smile plastered on his face as he eagerly awaited my answer. After a very long pause (during which I weighed the risk of both), I replied, "Truth."

Everyone was taken aback, even Justin.

Emmett asked enthusiastically, "When was the last time you masturbated and who were you imagining?"

I pretended to think about it for a while, but I didn't need to. Finally, I said, "A month ago."

Everyone but Justin gaped. They probably assumed I hadn't done that since I was a teenager (I had to admit that this 'truth' thing, in general, was a drug all its own; making confessions that, to most, seemed completely out of character for me was a new way to shock people, and I really got off on shocking people). Justin was gazing at me, but no trace of sadness clouded his eyes. That last masturbation session had led us to the relationship we had now.

I paused; everyone looked at me expectantly. I continued, "I was imagining an incredibly hot blond with a luscious ass and crystal-blue eyes."

Emmett looked like he was going to cry. He had both hands over his heart, and he half-said, half-moaned, "Awww…."

Justin nuzzled my neck and kissed my cheek. I threw a pillow at Emmett to shut him up.

Then I asked, "Daphne, truth or dare?"

She tilted her head back and forth as she contemplated her answer. Finally, she said, "With this crowd, I better go with truth."

That gave everyone a chuckle. I smirked and asked, "If you had to fuck someone in this room, who would it be?"

Justin pinched my nipple, causing me to yelp, and chastised me: "Brian…you're so mean!" But then he laid his head back on my shoulder.

I just smiled. Daphne groaned, but then looked around the room, weighing her options. After a minute or two, she replied shyly, "I'd have to say…Ben."

Mikey fixed Daphne with a cold stare, Justin nodded in approval, and I cried out, "You wound me!"

Daphne quickly explained, "I'm no longer allowed to covet you…there's like a commandment against coveting friends' spouses, or soon-to-be spouses, isn't there?"

I could feel Justin smile against my skin, but everyone else turned toward Justin and me, eyes wide and jaws on the floor.

Mikey cried, "Brian, did you propose?"

I shrugged. "Kind of."

Justin and I exchanged a look. Technically, Justin had done the proposing, and the proposition hadn't been for marriage as most would define it. But no one else needed to know that.

The expression on Mikey's face was one of horror. I couldn't blame him. A year ago, the idea would have been beyond ludicrous. Emmett stood and hugged Justin. Ben came over, patted us both on the shoulder, and congratulated us warmly. Ted remained seated, but when the shock wore off, he congratulated us, too. Mikey hadn't said a word. Finally, at Ben's urging, he muttered, "Congrats," but it wasn't exactly heartfelt.

Fortunately, Daphne redirected everyone's attention by asking, "Justin, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"What is your wildest fantasy?"

Justin looked at me nervously. I leaned over and whispered in his ear, "It's Saturday night, Angel. Your wish is my command."

Then he wrinkled his nose adorably and smiled a soft smile. Finally, he said, "I'd like to fuck Brian while looking into his eyes."

Ted asked incredulously, "That's your wildest fantasy?"

Justin nodded.

Mikey huffed. "Well, I can tell you right now that it's gonna stay a fantasy. Brian would never allow anyone to fuck him missionary style!"

Justin's eyes twinkled, and what I've come to recognize as his wicked grin spread across his face.

Justin asked, "Ben, truth or dare?"

Ben responded quickly. "Dare."

Justin rubbed his hands together in excitement. His voice bubbling with laughter, he said, "I dare you to kiss Daphne."

Ben rubbed Mikey's leg and whispered something in his ear.

I held Justin a little tighter and started sucking on his neck, right above his left shoulder. I was so fucking proud of him, dispensing revenge discomfort like a pro, and on the fly. He tilted his head to the right to give me greater access and moaned softly.

Meanwhile, Mikey was fuming, Daphne was blushing, and Ben was headed our way (Daphne was still sitting next to us on the couch). Ben kneeled in front of her, oddly enough, still reaching her height when sitting, gently took her face in his hands, and kissed her passionately. Daphne threw her arms around his neck and kissed him back. The peanut gallery started hooting and hollering again, all but Mikey, who now had his arms crossed and was glaring at them.

Ben finally pulled away to reveal a flushed and somewhat dazed Daphne and then returned to his former spot. Justin smiled at Daphne brightly and started poking and teasing her. Daphne blushed and giggled in response. Ben pulled Mikey so that he was sitting in between his legs and wrapped his arms around him. He nuzzled Mikey's neck and whispered into his ear until Mikey couldn't help but smile.

After Mikey had nestled more snugly in Ben's arms, Ben asked, "Ted, truth or dare?"

A little smugly, Ted answered, "Dare." I'm sure he assumed what we all assumed…that Ben was too nice to dare him to do anything truly embarrassing. We were all wrong. In that pleasantly calm voice he always seems to use, Ben said, "I dare you to act out a scene from the last porn you watched."

Ted paled. Justin's eyes grew wide, and then he burst out laughing, although I could tell he had been trying to hold the laughter in. At that, Mikey, Daphne, Emmett, and I joined him. I took pity on Ted, so I lit the last joint and passed it to him. After a few puffs, he passed it on. He seemed emboldened. He directed Emmett to bend over the dining room table and then grabbed Mikey, placing him directly behind Emmett but a little to the right. He took position next to Mikey and then pushed Mikey against Emmett's ass while humping Emmett. Ah…a double penetration. After a moment of confusion, Mikey humped in earnest with Ted. We were all laughing, especially Emmett and Mikey. Justin managed to quietly snap a few pictures with a digital camera lying under the couch. He whispered in my ear, "What do ya think? Christmas cards?"

I just giggled.

When everyone was seated again, Ted asked, "Michael, truth or dare?"

Mikey shook his head as though replying to a question in his head. Then he answered, "Truth."

"Describe the most embarrassing fantasy you've had while jerking off."

Mikey sighed heavily. "I think I should have chosen dare…"

I chuckled. "Too late. Fess up."

Mikey looked at me leerily. "You might regret saying that in a minute."

I quirked an eyebrow.

He sighed again and then admitted, not meeting anyone's eyes, "Once…I imagined that Justin was on his knees sucking my cock…"

Justin exclaimed, "What? When was that?"

Mikey hung his head even lower. "Shortly after we started working on Rage. I don't know, I mean, Brian was always bragging about the blowjobs you gave him (Justin smiled brightly at that) and that night we fell asleep together, I woke up in the middle of the night and, I don't know, you looked kind of cute…"

Emmett and Daphne were giggling, Ted was gaping, and Justin was smiling at me cockily.

I muttered, "Twat. You know you give fantastic head. Not exactly a newsflash."

But I couldn't help but smile a little. I liked seeing Justin so confident, even if only for a moment.

Mikey asked, "Truth or dare, Brian?"

"Truth."

"Why did you propose? Do you just feel sorry for Justin?"

Ben looked at Mikey sternly. "Michael, don't forget that you helped to reunite Brian and Justin. You saw how miserable they were apart. How can you ask such a question?"

Mikey retorted defensively, "Wanting to be Justin's boyfriend is one thing. But isn't marriage, so soon after they got back together, a little extreme?"

Ben philosophized, "No person or relationship moves or grows at the same speed as others. Each person, each relationship, is unique."

Mikey harrumphed. "Well, I just think that this is completely unlike Brian, which makes me wonder whether he's thinking clearly. He said the other night that he feels bad because he wasn't able to protect Justin. But marrying him won't change the past, so if he proposed to assuage his guilt…"

Justin had been listening to this exchange somewhat uneasily. Finally, he burst out, "Enough!"

I whispered, "You don't have to do this, Angel."

He countered firmly, "Yes, I do."

After a moment's hesitation, Justin stated flatly, "He didn't even propose."

Mikey, Emmett, Ben, and Ted looked over at Justin in surprise.

He continued, "I did."

Mikey laughed. I pursed my lips.

I pointed out, "But I said yes. It doesn't really matter who proposed to whom."

Mikey replied patronizingly, "You didn't have to say yes, Brian."

Exasperated, I snapped, "I never do anything I don't want to do, Mikey. You of all people should know that. I…"

Justin interrupted me, whispering, "You don't have to do this."

I countered firmly, "Yes, I do."

With no hesitation, I declared, "I love Justin. I'm in love with him. I need him in my life…in the loft, in my bed…everywhere I am…always. Does that clear things up for you?"

Disconcerted, Mikey muttered, "Yeah."

I asked, "Justin, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"What is a secret you've never told anyone?"

Daphne giggled. "I'd love to hear this one!"

Justin furrowed his brow. "Hmmm…"

"Oh! Uh…"

I chuckled. "Spit it out."

"Well, you remember the king of Babylon contest?"

"Yes…?" I was becoming increasingly uncomfortable as I waited for Justin's response. He chewed on his thumbnail for a moment, but then finally replied, "I didn't spend the night fucking that guy Sean. I mean, I could have. He was hot to come home with me, but I left him in the alley after we fucked the first time."

Daphne and I posed different follow-up questions at the same time. I asked, "Why?" and Daphne asked, "Why didn't you tell me?"

We all eagerly awaited Justin's answers, though my face was impassive. Despite our growing intimacy, I wasn't always able to be completely open, especially with an audience and especially about the king of Babylon contest.

"I didn't tell you, Daph, because you were so proud of me for asserting myself. I would have, but you assumed I'd spent the night fucking him, and I just didn't have the heart to tell you otherwise. As for why I left him in the alley…that should be obvious. I only entered the stupid contest to get your attention, Brian. I wanted you to choose me over that guy, and when it looked like you wouldn't, I wanted to hurt you, but I really didn't want to fuck him."

I was stunned. I'd always thought of that night as the night I'd seen Justin's baser instincts for the first time. I'd imagined him taking pleasure in my humiliation all night long, every time they fucked. But, as it turns out, he'd never taken pleasure in it. That first time was a reaction to my cruelty. I just stared at Justin. I couldn't have spoken even if I wanted to. Justin held my gaze for a couple of minutes, but then turned to Daphne and asked, "Truth or dare?"

I interjected, "Why don't we all just go around the circle answering the same question I asked you and end there?"

Everyone (but Justin and I) exchanged nervous glances, but then nodded. Justin smiled brightly, probably because he thought that meant that I had something I wanted to confess and that I wasn't angry about Sean. If so, he'd be right on both counts.

Blushing, Daphne admitted, "Once, when I was dating Ken, he, his roommates John and Steve, his roommates' girlfriends, and I were all sleeping in their dorm room, and, during the night, both John and I woke up. He was so hot! I wanted him more than I'd ever wanted anyone, well any straight guy, anyway. I fucked him right then and there, five feet away from our sleeping significant others."

Justin's eyes grew as large as saucers. He exclaimed, "Holy shit!"

I chuckled and patted her on the back.

Emmett piped up, "Guess it's my turn…Once…I was attracted to a woman."

Everyone either gaped or gasped.

He continued, "She wasn't particularly girly…or manly…she had an even mix of feminine and masculine qualities. I have no idea why I was attracted to her. I've never been attracted to other women…anyway…I fucked her. I even went down on her."

More gaping and gasping.

Emmett wrinkled his nose. "I didn't mind. In fact, I kind of liked it."

For a full minute, no one could speak. We just stared at him.

Ted finally broke the silence. "After I was fired, but before I cleaned out my desk, I snuck into Worcshafter's office, jerked off, and sprayed cum all over his chair and couch."

That admission was met with gales of laughter.

Next up was Mikey. He confessed, "Once, some guy I went home with asked if he could pee on me, and…I let him."

Everyone laughed except me. I just shook my head. Fucking Mikey.

When the laughter died down, Ben admitted, "My first lover wasn't a friend at summer camp like I told you, Michael. When I was 15, at a fourth of July party, I fucked my cousin Jordan. Twice."

Everyone was stunned. Except me. I laughed my ass off.

Finally, it was my turn. Everyone, especially Justin, looked at me eagerly.

I confessed, "I only ever let one person fuck me besides my gym teacher."

Justin smiled softly.

I continued, "Justin."

Mikey's eyes nearly popped out of his head. Incredulously, he asked, "You let Justin fuck you?"

I nodded. "The first time was his eighteenth birthday. After that, I let him fuck me every few weeks, sometimes more often…and…"

Justin, of course, knew all this, well, except for the fact that he was only the second person to ever fuck me. So his eyes widened a little when he realized I had more to say.

"and…I fucking love it every time."

Justin looked down and then peeked back up at me shyly. Yet another soft smile on his lips.

I smirked. "He's got a huge cock."

At that, Justin pounced on me (well, as much as a person can when he's already on your lap), kissing me passionately.

*******

Mikey, Ben, Emmett, and Ted were all a little too merry to drive home, so I grabbed a few blankets that I miraculously had for…I have no idea for what…and they roughed it on the floor. Daphne of course went to sleep, well, passed out, in her cot, and Justin and I retired to the bedroom. I sat on the bed, still dressed, and drawled, "Well, Angel, if you want me, you're going to have to take me…"

Justin stared at me for a moment, his mouth open a little and his eyes wide as he raked them over my body, and purred, "I've never wanted anyone more, and, as you noted, I'm not shy about taking what I want."

I leaned back onto my arms and waited. Justin unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans and let them fall as he pulled his shirt off. Both hit the floor at the same time. I observed with pleasure that his cock was fully erect. Precum bubbled out of the head. He licked his lips and approached me slowly, finally kneeling in front of the bed. He ran his hands up my thighs until they converged on my cock and rubbed it through the fabric of my jeans. I started panting. The sound of my irregular breathing caused Justin's cock to jump, and he licked his lips and then bit his lower lip. Fuck! He was beautiful when he did that.

Justin unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans, smiling when he saw that I was wearing nothing underneath. I lifted my ass, and he pulled them off slowly. My cock was already painfully erect at this point, so, to move things along, I pulled my black wife beater off and tossed it to the floor.

Justin licked my balls and then took them both into his mouth and sucked on them gently. I just gazed at him, my eyelids heavy with desire. Justin drew his tongue along the underside of my cock, from base to tip. He traced the head of my cock with his tongue and then slid his hot wet mouth over it, sucking on it hard. My breathing grew even more ragged. Then when he took my entire length into his mouth, swallowing around the tip of my cock, which was in his throat, I threw back my head and moaned. Fuck! He had the softest, plumpest lips. I loved seeing them wrapped around my dick. He spent the next few minutes deepthroating me, which was about all I could take before I was ready to explode.

Justin whispered, "Lie down."

I complied.

He bent my legs and set my feet on the bed. Then he slicked the fingers of one hand with lube. He caressed my perineum with the fingers of the other, using light whispery touches in some spots and firmer circular touches in others. Meanwhile he pushed a lubed finger inside me, which was slightly uncomfortable until he lifted it up and curved it back, hitting my prostate. He massaged it gently, watching my eyes the whole time, his mouth slightly open and his eyes wide. After a minute or two, he inserted another finger (causing me to tense up), brought them together, and then made a few scissoring motions. When I relaxed, he brought them both up to my prostate and massaged it for another minute or so, eliciting from me a loud moan.

I saw a look of near pain in his eyes. He breathed, his voice breaking a little, "You're so beautiful, Brian. I…I need to be inside you now, to feel your tight heat surrounding my cock."

I just moaned softly in response. With an urgency I found irresistible, Justin removed both hands, which had been caressing me inside and out, quickly sheathed his cock, and slicked it with lube. Then, his breathing ragged, his eyes intense, he crawled up onto the bed, kneeling in between my legs, lifted them to his shoulders, and started to push his cock inside me. The moment the tip entered me, Justin closed his eyes and moaned. I could almost get off on his desire for me, the pleasure he took in my body.

When I tensed up, Justin stopped. When I relaxed, he started moving again. Like this, he proceeded by inches until his cock was completely buried inside me. At this point, he was so close to the edge that he bit his lip hard to regain some control. He leaned down, nudged my nose, and then kissed me passionately as he started to thrust in and up.

I slid my arms around his waist, until my hands reached his gorgeous ass, and then began squeezing and caressing it. Just then, his cock rubbed up against my prostate, initiating a pulse of pleasure, which coursed throughout my body. At the same time, we both let out deep body moans. Justin broke our kiss and began thrusting more quickly. I slid my hands slowly up his back, enjoying the feel of his soft flushed skin. He gyrated his hips and arched his back a little on each thrust, which was causing all manner of sensations inside me, pulsating heat, tingling electricity, and a feeling like we were connected in the most fundamental way, inextricably linked, one.

Justin had established a steady rhythm, not too slow or too fast, but he'd been struggling to maintain it. He grunted and moaned and had broken out into a sweat. Finally, he couldn't hold back any longer. He started fucking me hard and fast. I was dizzy with pleasure. I cried out, "Fuck! Yes, oh yes, Angel, fuck me, tear me in two with your huge cock."

Justin began thrusting even faster, moaning and panting as he did so. I suddenly felt as though my body were melting. I was a warm pool rippling with pleasure. I moaned loudly and cried, "Fuck, oh fuck me. Pound my ass. Oh yes. Harder. Harder!"

Justin obliged. He also grabbed my cock, now throbbing and purple and covered in precum, and began jerking me off. Seconds later, my orgasm charged through and poured out of me. The moment my ass clamped down on Justin's cock, he froze, cumming with a loud guttural moan. Then he collapsed onto my chest, all sweaty and out of breath.

When Justin had recovered enough to move, he pulled out and disposed of the condom. Then, always the gentleman, he disappeared into the bathroom, returning with a warm damp washcloth with which to wipe the sweat and cum off my body. I stared while he did so, my eyes dancing. After he tossed the washcloth into the hamper, I pulled him into my arms and covered us with the duvet. Then I turned the blue light off, nuzzled his neck, and whispered, "You're amazing, Angel." He whispered back, his voice husky, "Not me, Master. We're amazing." Then he nestled his head in the crook of my neck and fell asleep. For a long time, I just lay there, listening to him breathe. Eventually, I drifted off, too.


	34. Aftershocks

Justin's POV

Waking up nestled snugly in Brian's arms was always a reason for me to smile, but particularly so these days, and particularly this morning. The night before had been as Brian said, "Amazing." And not just the sex. Brian had willingly offered himself up, sacrificing his ego in the most profound way to show our friends how much I meant to him, what a singular position I held in his life, and I wasn't even sure why. I had only ever asked him to be honest with me.

Granted, in the past, his being honest about his feelings for me with others would have made me feel incredible, as it did now, but I never expected it. Just when I thought I knew Brian, it turned out that I didn't, well, not completely. At such times, I would learn something about him that he'd endeavored to hide (and for a long time, successfully) or he would do something so sweet, so surprising. I was still in awe of him.

And a little confused. Was this particular sweet, surprising gesture spurred by our impending collaring ceremony or by Ethan and Chris's being released from jail? Was it just a natural progression of our increased intimacy?

Brian interrupted my happy reverie by slipping beneath the covers and deepthroating my cock, which was still rock hard from sleep.

A delicious orgasm later, Brian and I emerged from the bedroom (we'd smelled coffee).

Emmett singsonged, "Morning lovebirds!"

Michael couldn't even look Brian in the eye.

Ted asked pointedly, "Did you two sleep well last night?"

Daphne looked around in confusion. "What? What'd I miss?"

I grabbed her shoulders, leaned in (she was sitting in a chair at the table), smiled brightly, waggled my eyebrows, and, in a stage whisper, told her, "I'll tell you all about it later."

Brian took the opportunity to smack my ass and forged onward toward the coffeemaker.

Ben piped up merrily, "From what I heard, I'm guessing you two probably slept like babies, two high, sexually sated babies."

I blushed and smiled brightly.

Michael kept glancing away and snickering. Finally he couldn't hold it in any longer. He cried out, mimicking Brian's growl-y shout, and badly, "Fuck, oh fuck me. Pound my ass. Oh yes. Harder. Harder!"

Normally, in the face of such humiliating ridicule, Brian would have glowered and said something to indicate how little I meant to him, but, this time, he shot me a tongue-in-cheek expression. He drawled, "Yes, little Sunshine here packs a wallop!" Then he turned to Michael, smirking and said, "I'm sure you'll have great fun imagining it."

Michael turned bright red, and everyone but Michael, even Ben, burst out laughing.

A few minutes later, Michael was searching Brian's desk drawers for a bic pen (Brian wouldn't let him touch any of his designer pens) and found, it turns out, an advertisement. He inquired, "What's this, Brian? An advertisement for someplace named Las…cow…ax."

Emmett, who had come up behind Michael, swatted him gently and replied, "Silly, that's Lascaux (breaking it into syllables and pronouncing them slowly). Brian was asking me about it a month or so ago. It's a bistro named after a place in France where caveman first got his paint on, well, as far as we can tell. The bistro is actually modeled on the caves, except that they display something a little bit fancier than Captain Caveman's Study of Antelope on their walls. They even nabbed Antoine from Terre du Lait et Miel, a hot, hot, hot chef in Paris, and not just because he's built. (sigh) but, of course, he is, and he plays for our team!"

Then he asked Brian, "Was your client impressed?"

I repeated, "Client?"

Emmett continued on happily, "Brian said he was thinking about taking a very, what did you call him, a, a, oh, yeah, a very discerning man with an artistic eye."

Brian sighed and looked down.

I was so jealous. I smiled, though my heart wasn't in it, and looked away.

But then Brian said something that caused me, eyes wide, to whip my head around, "Actually…Justin, the…the night we were supposed to have dinner with Debbie…I made reservations for us there."

My eyes nearly popped out of my head.

Brian rolled his lips into his mouth and let his head fall.

I inquired hesitantly, "You…you planned a date for us?"

Then he sighed and lifted his head until his eyes met mine. He replied softly, "Yes."

My eyes lost focus as I pondered this. Then I realized what night he was talking about. "Wait. The night we were supposed to have dinner with Debbie…that was the night…"

Brian cut me off with another soft "Yes."

Oh God.

I turned away from everyone and shut my eyes tight, trying to hold back the tears threatening to fall, but I could do nothing about the painful ache in my chest. I tried to process this new information. Brian had planned a date for us, and of his own accord, on the day I went to see Ethan. The restaurant sounded so perfect. Exactly the kind of place I had always wanted Brian to take me. If I hadn't gone to Ethan's, if I hadn't eaten the food he'd made…with our incredible reunion and the dynamics of our new relationship, we would have had everything. We wouldn't have so much anger and pain to deal with, we wouldn't be afraid that Ethan and Chris Hobbes might try to harm one or both of us, we wouldn't need to testify in a trial…

As though Brian could read my mind, he, now by my side, though I hadn't even heard him approach, added, in a whisper, "and we wouldn't be engaged."

Now his arms were around me. I turned into his embrace and buried my face in his chest, sobbing softly, my body shaking with the force of my sobs. He held me tight. Then the implications of what he'd said hit me. I lifted my red, teary eyes until they found his, sniffled, and asked, "Does that mean that Michael was right? That you only said yes because you feel guilty?"

Brian leaned down and kissed me gently on the lips. Then he whispered, "No, Angel. But you have to admit that what happened brought us closer faster."

I nodded. "That's true." I looked around. "Where'd everybody go?"

Brian chuckled. "I told them to get the hell out."

"I must have been really out of it. I didn't hear anything."

Brian didn't reply. Instead, he leaned down again and kissed my lips once more, this time, with greater force, plunging his tongue into my mouth. Then he slid his hands to the back of my neck, tilting my head and pulling me closer, kissing me more and more passionately, causing my breathing to become erratic and my heart to pound hard, and irregularly, within my chest. I threw my arms around Brian's neck and met his passion with my own. I was so turned on that I felt a little faint.

Suddenly, Brian broke our kiss and pushed me back about a foot. Then, his eyes so dark and intense that they looked almost black, he gazed into my eyes and commanded, "Angel, take off your clothes."

I loved Master's voice like this. It actually made my breath catch in my throat and my heart skip a beat.

"Slowly."

I did as he asked, watching his eyes as I stripped. First I pulled my T-shirt off and tossed it to the ground. Then I unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans and turned around before sliding them down past my hips (bending over as I did) to my ankles. Then I toed them the rest of the way off and turned around.

He commanded, "Get down on all fours."

I complied. While I did so, Master went to get something, though I had no clue what. Then he was placing a full-length mirror in front of me and a little to the side and one behind me diagonally so that I could look into the mirror in front and see the second mirror, which provided a perfect view of my ass. He said, "Angel, I want you to watch me in the mirror."

I replied huskily, "Yes, Master."

Then he kneeled behind me and began caressing my ass cheeks. He breathed, "So beautiful. You're so beautiful, Angel."

Then he looked up. His eyes were dark with desire. When he caught my eyes in the mirror, I blushed and felt a sort of falling sensation in my chest, which was then quickly followed by a delicious full-body shiver. The compliment had an effect on my cock, too, causing it to leak.

Master leaned down and swiped his tongue over my entrance. I moaned. Loudly. Then he pushed his tongue inside me. I watched, my eyes wide, my mouth open. When he started pushing his tongue in and out, I began to pant. So much that I felt a little dizzy. Feeling his warm, wet tongue moving inside me caused my entire body to quiver. Much too soon, he pulled his tongue out and sat up. But he quickly replaced it with two lubed fingers and began opening me up. He then massaged my prostate, setting my body to trembling as waves of heat and electricity rippled through me.

When Master pulled his fingers out, I whimpered in disappointment. Master chuckled. Then, he lubed up a long wide red butt plug and slowly worked it inside me. When it was fully buried in my ass, Master flattened his hand and spanked me. I gasped. It didn't hurt, but he'd spanked me dead center, causing the butt plug to move and initiating another delicious wave of heat and electricity.

Then Master stood. His eyes held mine as he unbuttoned and unzipped his pants and then inched them down and off. I glanced down and caught sight of his hard cock. Precum bubbled out of his slit, and it looked almost purple. I lifted my head and saw that Master's mouth was open a little, his eyes intense. All this had quite an effect on my cock. It took everything in me to do nothing, to simply remain there on all fours and wait.

Master slipped his wife beater off and then went to fetch, first, a paddle from the bedroom and then the chaise, from the corner. He moved the chaise so that it was behind me diagonally, lined up with the second mirror, and sat in the middle (facing me).

His voice soft and low, he said, "Come here, Angel."

I complied, and enthusiastically. I jumped to my feet and turned to face Master. Then I waited for more instructions.

Master smiled. "You're so good, Angel. So patient. I want you to straddle me, but you're to remain on your knees."

I did as he asked. I realized that this put my cock just about level with Master's mouth. My breathing grew ragged when I felt his warm breath on my cock, and I started imagining his mouth sliding over it, sucking on it, taking it into his throat and swallowing around the tip. This train of thought caused me to moan softly and more precum to drip down my painfully erect (and throbbing) cock. Master smiled. Then he began running his fingertips lightly over my ass cheeks, sending warm shivers throughout my body.

From my vantage point, I could look into the second mirror and see my ass in the first. If I looked a bit lower in the second, I could also see my cock (in the same mirror).

Master looked up, directly into my eyes, and breathed, "Do you want me to spank you, Angel?"

I shivered a little in anticipation. Then I replied, "Yes, Master."

"Say it."

I responded, my voice husky, "Spank me, Master. Please."

And he did. He held my waist with one hand and the paddle with the other and sent blow after blow down on my ass. He started softly and increased the force of the blows gradually. About four in, my ass began to sting and, by the seventh, to burn. Watching my ass flinch and tighten and then turn pink was surreal, as was seeing the red butt plug against my pale white skin. The blows caused a prickling sensation, originating in my ass cheeks, to spread throughout my body. Additionally, every blow put pressure on the butt plug, no matter where Master struck me. So the prickling sensation was accompanied by delicious ripples of pleasure that burned through me.

After the tenth blow, sweat on my brow, I was panting and trembling. When the anticipated eleventh blow didn't come, I looked down. Master was gazing at me with awe and adoration. His expression shook me to the core, causing my body to tremble even more. He set the paddle down and caressed my ass cheeks lightly while he placed gentle open-mouthed kisses on my belly.

Then he asked, his voice husky, "Would you like it if I sucked your cock, Angel?"

I bit my lip and squeaked out, "Yes, Master."

He leaned down and took the tip of my cock into his mouth, sucking it hard. I breathed in sharply and my eyes drooped, heavy with desire. He pulled back and blew on it, causing a full-body shiver. When he started leaning down again, so slowly, I licked my lips in anticipation. Then he took my entire cock into his mouth, eliciting a guttural moan. I threaded my fingers into his hair and threw back my head as he continued to deep throat my cock, swallowing around the tip each time it entered his throat. Just as I was about to cum, Master sat up. I whimpered mournfully.

He immediately started paddling me again. The shock, and the sting, of the first blow, a hard one, caused my cock to soften slightly, but the subsequent blows had the opposite effect. The pleasure I experienced was increasing, but more slowly, as the pain took the edge off. I lost count of the blows after fifteen. I could feel their impact, but not the pain. Soon I couldn't even feel the impact. I felt as though I were floating in a warm sea. I didn't notice when Master stopped spanking me or when he removed the butt plug. However, I did feel Master slamming his cock into me. I was surprised to find myself on my back, my legs on Master's shoulders. When I looked at him with seeing eyes, he sent his lips crashing down onto mine, kissing me passionately. As I kissed him back, I still felt all floaty. But the warm sea was growing hotter and hotter and pulled me up, up, up, toward Master. All my movements turned desperate. I thrust my tongue deeper and deeper into Master's mouth, gripped Master's shoulders harder and harder, and pushed back on Master's cock faster and faster until the huge wave my burning sea had become broke, all over his chest. When my ass clamped down on his dick, he broke our kiss and yowled.

Then he leaned his head against my chest and whispered, "So fucking good, Angel. Your body's heaven to me."

He pulled out, removed and disposed of the condom I hadn't even known he was wearing, and gathered me into his arms. I rested my head on his shoulder and wrapped my legs around his waist. Then he lifted me up and carried me to the bed. He kneeled on it, lay down, with me still in his arms, and then covered us up with the duvet. I nestled my head in the crook of Master's neck and breathed, "I can't imagine us any other way than this."

Master rested his head against mine and replied, so softly I could barely hear him, "Me, either, Angel."


	35. Cat and Mouse

All day, I'd felt something stirring. The sky was dark, but the sun had not yet set, the trees on Tremont shook and shuddered with a cool, almost cold, wind, and I could taste rain in the air, but none fell. The world was all anticipation. A week and a half had passed without incident, but Hobbs and Ian were still out on the street. Were they waiting for me, for Justin, to relax, to let down our guards, before making their move? I was going insane imagining possibilities and trying to plan for them, to close holes in 'security.' I had the entire gang on a schedule. Justin was never to be alone, not for a second. When I wasn't with him, one or, preferably, two others were to be with him. Justin continually fought this. During our last fight (yesterday), he'd said he felt like a mob princess (that still gave me a chuckle). It had gone like this.

"Brian, this is crazy. I need to sit down with the lawyer Mel recommended and talk strategy. The longer I wait to pursue legal action against PIFA, the more difficult it will be. But I can't exactly do that if I'm stuck in the loft, if I'm constantly babysat. And PIFA's lawyers will probably just use my house arrest as proof that I'm incapable of being a normal student right now because of the rape case and my 'traumatization.'"

I had sighed and declared helplessly, "I just want you safe."

Justin had let his head fall. "I know, but it's been almost two weeks. Maybe they aren't planning anything…"

"Or maybe they're waiting until we aren't expecting it…"

Suddenly, Justin had snapped, "You go to work like nothing's wrong…Who's to say they wouldn't attack you? Or do you just think I'm helpless? A victim. I refuse to be babysat and ushered around. I'm not fucking Carly Corinthos (I had quirked an eyebrow at that) or a god-damned child!"

Then more softly, in a small voice that had caused my chest to constrict, he had added, "It's humiliating."

I had staved off the urge to pull him into my arms (I'd thought doing so would just make him feel worse) and had rolled my lips into my mouth, regarding him coolly. After a long pause, I'd said, "If anything, you're more like Courtney Morgan…she was pretty bad ass with all the kickboxing…"

Justin (who'd turned away from me during the silence) had wheeled around then. He'd stared at me darkly for a moment, but then he'd burst out laughing, his eyes bright and twinkling.

He'd cried out incredulously, "How do you even know about her?"

I had shrugged. "How do you?"

Justin had shook his head and smiled. "Touché."

Then I'd explained, "The ladies at work couldn't stop debating this very issue a few years back…every time I passed the water cooler, I'd hear… 'Courtney's the perfect mob wife…tough and independent.' 'No..that makes her the worst…she needs to follow directions. Her toughness caused her to miscarry…' and so on, ad nauseum.'"

Then I'd stared at Justin, waiting for his confession. Justin had shrugged and smiled. "My mom has always been a big _General Hospital_ fan."

I'd tilted my head and smirked.

Justin had added, as nonchalantly as he could manage, "I used to watch it with her sometimes…Some of the men on the show are hot…"

I'd nodded slowly. "I see."

Justin's eyes had flashed, which had gone straight to my cock.

He'd hissed, "Fuck you, Brian!" Then he'd folded his arms and turned around.

I'd approached him slowly, finally taking him into my arms.

"I hate to burst your bubble, Angel, but Sonny's a troll. Jason was pretty hot, but then he doubled in size....I don't know what the fuck happened there…"

Justin had turned in my arms. I'd leaned in and kissed his lips gently and then whispered, "and…fuck you, Angel…"

Justin had shivered then. He'd breathed, "Please do, Master…"

And I had done just that. We hadn't solved anything, but the sex was fucking incredible. I'd brought Justin a hair's breadth from orgasm with just words…and then I'd pounded his tight little ass so hard I swear all of Liberty Avenue could hear his moaning. On edge sex is pretty fucking hot…

*******

"You want to leave the loft?"

Justin looked up from the couch, where he had been tossing paperclips into a cup, from a supine position. He was actually doing pretty well. He'd gone through half a box and only missed a few times. In answer to my question, Justin shot me a look like I'd just asked whether he liked sex. "Yes."

"Okay. Let's go to Babylon."

He dropped the paper clip in his hand, looking up eagerly. "Seriously?"

I shrugged. "It's Friday night; nothing's safer than a crowd."

Justin smiled brightly and turned to leave (I imagine to start getting ready).

I asked nonchalantly, "Oh and Angel?"

Justin spun back around. "Yes?"

My voice, miraculously, still even, I continued, "I want you scorching hot. Pretend that you only saw me for the first time yesterday and that tonight you're determined to get into my ass, or to get my cock into yours. Then dress accordingly."

Justin suddenly looked a bit flushed.

I chuckled. "Should I call in the cavalry?"

Justin's eyes had lost focus for a minute, but now they were trained on me once more.

"Hunh?"

I drawled, "Should I call in the cavalry?"

"Cavalry?"

"Emmy Lou and Daphne?"

Justin narrowed his eyes. "I am perfectly capable of making myself irresistible to any man, especially you."

My voice a little softer, I agreed, "That I know, Angel."

Justin smiled in spite of himself, one of those super hot self-satisfied smiles. He turned to leave again, but then stopped.

"But call them anyway."

Then he was gone.

I smiled and picked up the phone (as I dialed, I went over to the couch to rescue the wayward paper clip from the floor and placed it into the cup).

An hour later, Justin emerged from the bedroom wearing black leather pants and a shimmery, almost see through red top. It was tighter in the chest than at the waist. I could clearly see his nipple ring, and his hair had the perfect light, shaggy look. I'd asked for scorching hot, and that was exactly what I got. I tried to imagine what my thoughts would have been if I'd seen him for the first time this way. What I would have said. But as I stared at him, I realized that I couldn't get back into that mindset. Too much had changed. I'd changed too much. All that went through my mind now was that deafening "Mine" that had resounded in my head and had pulsated through my bloodstream since the King of Babylon contest, maybe before. I approached him quickly, so quickly that he stepped back and paled. When we were face to face, I grabbed him, with both hands, by the neck and pulled him close. I leaned in and whispered, no, growled, "MINE."

I could feel him smile and his entire body tremble. Then I directed him, "Go to Babylon with Emmett and Daphne, Angel. I'll follow in a little while. Tonight we're going to play a game. Cat and mouse. But in this game, the mouse is to taunt, not just flee."

I smiled when Justin's breathing grew ragged.

"Do you understand, Angel?"

In a husky whisper that made me want to push him against the nearest pillar and fuck him into tomorrow, he replied, "I'd do anything to please you, Master."

The little fucker had already started to play.

I opted for tight, tight, tight black jeans and a long-sleeved shirt that looked like it was dusted with silver (sort of a gauzy fabric). The shirt was close fitting, but not too tight. I unfastened the top three buttons so that my Angel would get a good look at my perfectly sculpted chest, smirked at myself in the mirror (I was dripping sex, and I knew it), and headed to Babylon.

I strutted into the club, walking directly to the bar, but slowly, all the while looking around at 'the talent' as though I were on the prowl for an anonymous ass to plow. When I reached the bar, I ordered a drink and turned around (slowly), leaning back, elbows on the bar. I spotted Justin right away (he was hard to miss period, but especially so in bright red). He was dancing with Emmett and Daphne, but once I caught his eye, he nodded to a nearby hottie, who immediately cut in. Emmett and Daphne laughed and backed off, though they were never very far away.

When Justin's dance partner lifted Justin's shirt to get a better look at Justin's nipple ring and tugged it gently, Justin threw back his head and laughed. Then he tilted his head in my direction, still smiling brightly, his eyes dancing. I shot him a hungry look. That made him shiver (I could tell even this far away), but he recovered quick, smiling even more brightly.

I watched Justin dance as I sipped my scotch. Soon a slower song, with lots of bass, began to play. Justin began undulating sensuously to the music, eyes closed. My jeans were getting impossibly tighter. Having decided to pursue my quarry more directly, I turned to place my glass on the bar, but when I swung back around, Justin was gone. I automatically started to panic, but when I noted that Emmett and Daphne were smiling, I realized that this was just part of the game. I smirked and started scanning the room. I caught sight of something shimmery red moving up the stairs to the catwalk. I grinned and followed.

When I reached the top of the stairs, I noted that Justin was standing in the middle of the catwalk, holding onto to the metal bar, swaying sinuously to the music, his eyes closed. Some ultra-tan blond was heading toward Justin from the other end. I made it to Justin's side first and glared at the would-be trick. He froze, put up his hands as though in surrender, and backed off. I placed my hands next to Justin's (on either side) on the metal bar and leaned into him.

Then I nudged his ear with my nose and whispered, "You have the most incredible ass. Perfectly rounded. I want to push my 9-inch cock deep inside that luscious ass. I can make you cum buckets without even touching your cock."

To emphasize my point, I rubbed my erection against his ass. Justin's breath hitched in his throat. He wheeled around, now leaning back on the bar, and smiled complacently.

He purred, "I don't need you to tell me how incredible my ass is" even as he lightly drew a finger along my dick through the fabric of my pants.

My cock jumped, which elicited a warm laugh from Justin. Then he ducked under my arm and sauntered away (in the direction the blond would-be trick had headed).

I narrowed my eyes as I watched him go. Once he reached the crowd, he raised his arms and started dancing. After a minute he turned my way. He caught my eye and smiled, gyrating his hips enticingly as though issuing an invitation or a challenge. Then he spun back around and wiggled his ass, but slowly. Fuck, he was sexy! I growled and made my way down to the first floor, but I waited until he had a new dance partner to make my approach. When I was behind him, I slid my hands onto his hips, spun him so that he was facing me, and growled (as I moved my hands to his neck and pulled him to me roughly), catching his lips with my own and kissing him with such ferocity that he went a little limp. He unconsciously steadied himself by placing his hands on my hips.

Justin kissed me back at first, but then pulled away. He laughed and teased, "How do you know I'm even available? I could have a boyfriend or a fiancé."

With intense eyes and a voice very like a growl, I replied, "When a work of art is released to the public, it belongs to everyone. If your fool of a boyfriend or fiancé let you out of the house looking this scorching hot, your body, and, more specifically, your ass, is up for grabs."

On the last word, I grabbed Justin's ass, caressing it even as I pulled him against me, and started grinding my erection against his. I leaned in, my lips a hair's breadth from Justin's, and looked directly into his eyes.

Then I added, my voice low and husky, "I know you want me to ram your tight little ass, to pound it mercilessly in front of all these people, but I bet you'd like to preface that hard fuck by wrapping your plump lips around my cock, taking all 9 inches."

Justin looked flushed. I tilted my head and smiled.

My arrogant smile brought Justin back to earth. He smiled back at me, matching my arrogance with his own, and purred, "Oh I can swallow a 9-inch cock. Easily. But the question of whether I want to swallow yours, presuming it's all you claim (I quirked an eyebrow at that), well, that's still up in the air."

Then he upped the stakes. He winked at me and dragged his current dance partner toward the backroom by his belt buckle. The little fucker even gave his ass a shake when he knew my eyes were firmly trained on it. I tightened my jaw and clenched and unclenched my hand a few times. Then I smiled and followed. When I arrived, Justin was very slowly unfastening the would-be trick's pants. I stood next to the man and quickly unfastened mine, freeing my now purple and leaking cock. I tilted my head and allowed my eyes to roam Justin's body hungrily. That got his attention. It was as though he could feel the heat of my gaze. Then I started stroking myself. Slowly, so slowly. I moaned softly when precum started leaking more profusely from my slit. Justin unconsciously licked his lips. I knew I had him then.

I crooked a finger at him.

His breathing was ragged now. He approached me as though in a trance. But he didn't fall to his knees. Instead, he whispered, "You want to pound my tight little ass?"

I nodded, my eyes burning with desire.

He added huskily, "Ok. All you have to do is continue jerking off. But your eyes can't leave mine. Not even for a second. And you have to let me play with you a little, not cumming before I say it's okay."

I quirked an eyebrow. "Is that all?"

Justin nodded solemnly. I smiled. Justin, his eyes still glued to mine, brought a finger to his lips and started pushing it into his mouth slowly, licking and sucking on it. My eyes widened. He stepped closer, sliding his hands into my jeans, caressing my ass cheeks gently. Then he drew his saliva-slick finger over my entrance. I started to pant. He smiled and then began pushing his finger inside me. Fuck. I slowed the pace of my stroking. Every single thing he did, every movement, pushed me closer to the edge. I wanted so much to close my eyes and throw back my head, but I couldn't. I needed, _needed_, to plow his ass in front of everyone here. All these gaping fuckers needed to know that Justin was mine. All mine. I moaned, loudly, when he first touched my prostate, and I inadvertently squeezed my dick. Hard. I nearly came right then. Justin saw the desperation in my eyes, though I tried to mask it. He giggled and continued to massage my prostate, but with even greater pressure. I cursed, "Oh fuck!"

Justin continued his ministrations until I was so desperate for release that my eyes pleaded with him. He smiled a complacent smile and pulled his finger out. Then he pushed my hand away from my dick.

He breathed, "Take me now if you want me."

Son of a bitch! He wasn't going to let me cum until my cock was buried in his tight little ass. I was already so close, but I wanted to take my time fucking him. I growled, freed his cock (and, more importantly, his luscious ass), and pushed him up against the wall roughly. Justin just chuckled. I sheathed my cock, but neither slicked it with lube nor prepared Justin. He was going to feel all 9 inches of my dick. As I started to push my cock into Justin, I thought of pussy, my mother, Mikey (A/N: sorry Mikey lovers...I'm just playing), and every other unsexy thing I could think of.

Justin observed, "You're a very naughty boy…" but he moaned in pleasure. He liked to be taken hard, and I knew it. Then he taunted, "Is that all you got?"

I growled and thrust all the way in. Justin cried out.

I teased, "How's that?"

The little fucker replied saucily, though he was breathing heavy and flushed, "That's hardly pounding, is it?"

I growled and bit his neck, hard, as I began ramming my cock in and out of him as hard and fast as I could. He breathed in sharply, but didn't cry out.

Justin pushed back on every thrust and moaned low in his throat. Then he cried out, "Fuck yeah!" spread his legs and bent all the way over, bracing himself against the wall at the bottom with his hands. I let out a strangled moan as my cock slid in even deeper. Then I squeezed his hips hard, shut my eyes tight, and threw back my head even as I automatically started fucking him harder. I no longer had any control. But if I had anything to say about it, neither would Justin. I slipped my finger into his ass under my dick (while I continued to pound him) until I found his prostate. Then I began massaging it. Between the pressure I actually exerted with my finger and the added pressure from my cock as I thrust in and out, Justin was a moaning, mewling mass of jello.

Seconds later his orgasm tore through him. He cried out, "Ohh….ohhhhhh…..ohhhhhhhhh," and came so hard that I felt recoil, shooting in long white spurts against the wall, though we had both completely neglected his cock. Then his ass clamped down onto mine; I exploded inside him and roared.

I collapsed onto Justin's back, and, without even thinking, I started rubbing my cheek against him even as my chest heaved. Once we'd both caught our breath, I pulled out and tossed the condom aside. Justin stood all the way up, though a little unsteadily, and exclaimed, "Holy fuck!"

I chuckled. "There was nothing holy about that, Angel, but it sure was fucking hot!


	36. Invasion of the Tripping Lunatics Part 1

**Brian's POV**

Justin was lying in the middle of the living room floor naked, and I (also naked) was riding him. Justin grabbed my ass, squeezed it, and then pulled me down harder onto his cock by my hips. He moaned, "Oh fuck, Brian, watching you slide up and down my cock…it's so fucking hot!"

I grunted as I slammed down on him harder and faster. Justin took my cock, which was nearly purple and covered in precum, into his hand and squeezed it tight, eliciting a deep body moan from me. "Ahhh…Fuck yeah!"

Justin looked at me hungrily and whispered, his voice husky and low, so rough and sexy, "You're so wet for me, Brian. You love riding my cock, don't you?" Then he squeezed my cock harder.

I shouted, "Fuck, yes!" and started slamming down even harder, even faster, Then I growled, "Stroke me..."

A wicked glint in Justin's eye, he smiled and said, "I'll do you one better." Then he pushed me onto my back, pulled out, and started feasting on my cock. He licked it clean and then wolfed it down, taking the tip into his throat. He moaned as he bobbed his head up and down, sucking on my cock even as he swirled his tongue along the shaft.

I moaned, "Oh fuck, fuck, fuck, yes!"

Then just as I was about to cum, Justin pulled away and slammed his dick back into my ass, burying himself to the hilt in one thrust. He fucked me fast and hard and then angled his hips and started thrusting inside me shallowly, pounding my prostate. I came with a guttural moan, and, as soon as my ass clamped down onto Justin's dick, he followed, "Oh God, oh fuck, Master, I love you!" He collapsed onto my chest. I held him tight and brushed a few damp strands of hair off of his forehead, replacing them with a kiss, and then whispered, "And I love you, Angel."

I let my head fall onto the floor and closed my eyes. Justin sighed in contentment, but then suddenly tensed up. I opened my eyes to find him staring toward the door, a crimson blush slowly creeping across his face and neck. I followed the line of his gaze and then quirked an eyebrow when my eyes lighted on Ben, Mikey, Emmy Lou, the cop he kissed last week (now in regular clothes), dead man walking, Daphne, and a preppy kid who looked like Archie, probably some guy she wanted to fuck.

I smirked. "That'll be ten bucks each."

Justin looked at me in horror. I nodded. "You're right. Make it twenty."

Mikey, whose eyes were still as wide as saucers, muttered, "Huh?"

I sighed and shook my head. Sometimes he was so dense. "Uh, for the show…"

Then my tongue firmly planted in my cheek, I drawled, "If you enjoyed this one, be sure to come back for the ten o'clock. That'll be light bondage, maybe some flogging."

At that, everyone burst out laughing.

*******

_**A/N: Archie, Moose, Jughead, etc. are names from Archie Comics and all refer to Daphne's date. All the B-names (well, except for Brian and Ben) refer to the cop Emmett kissed during the last truth or dare game.**_

How the hell did we end up here? That is, trapped in the loft with a bunch of tripping lunatics? (I won't begin with a depiction of the gruesome scene. You wouldn't believe me if I neglected to tell you what came before). Okay, Justin and I were tripping, too, but we weren't lunatics, not on any drug. Simple really. The cop, if you can believe it, broke out some "primo shit," and Justin wanted to try something new. He turned his baby blues on me, and they were dancing, leaping, and twinkling with excitement. How could I refuse? Especially after he'd spent the better part of two weeks on "house arrest." Maybe I was still flying from that "primo" ass pounding he'd just given me. Whatever the reason, I locked the door and all the windows (ironically, to keep the lunatics out; ha!), and we all dropped some near pure LSD, straight from the evidence locker of Pittsburgh's finest. Then, about twenty minutes later (when the acid started to kick in), Auntie Em decided we should play truth or dare again, cause it was "oh so fun" last time! (incoherent grumbling) I guess that's where I'll start this tale of woe.

*******

Justin and I sat on the couch (Justin, of course, on my lap), with Daphne and Archie beside us; Emmy Lou and the cop, Bob, Bill, Bud, or some such shit, sat on the chaise, which they had pulled up to the coffee table; Ted sat across the table from them on the floor; and Ben and Mikey sat across the table from Justin and I on the floor.

Dead man walking started us off by asking Jughead, "Truth or Dare?"

Jughead glanced around, with a mild look of terror on his face, finally replying, "Truth."

The look, and his answer, gave us all a chuckle.

"If you were gay, who in this room would you fuck?"

His eyes nearly popped out of his head. He rubbed his hand on the back of his neck and gave us all, in turn, a quick once over.

"Uhhh…."

I had a good idea what his answer would be, and when his eyes lighted on Justin and he tilted his head a little bit, I knew I had guessed right. "Him, I mean, Justin."

Justin giggled. Then he purred, "Is it my long silky blond hair (running his fingers through it) or my rotund rump?" (leaning forward, away from Moose and Daphne, and giving it a slap for good measure)

I chuckled. "If we were drinking, you would soooo be cut off."

Then Justin flashed me a million-watt smile, leaned in (giving my earlobe a nibble), and whispered, "You LOVE it when I'm fucked up!"

I scoffed, "Love is a little strong…"

"Hah!"

I couldn't help but smile. Apparently, I also couldn't help kissing him on the cheek. Cause that's what I did.

Then I patted Daphne on the back and consoled her. "That sucks. I guess he likes Betty better than Veronica."

Daphne frowned. "Who the hell are Betty and Veronica?" She looked at Justin. He shrugged. Then I had the great pleasure of being laughed at by dead man walking, who, I'd like to point out, is much, much older than me. Well, older anyway.

So…then Moose turned to Daphne and asked, "Truth or Dare?"

She looked down and then peeked back up at him from under her long brown lashes (a move she clearly stole from Justin) and replied, "Dare."

"I dare you to kiss me."

Good grief. "Why not go for the big score? We have a bed right through there."

Daphne complained, "Brian!"

Then she leaned over and pecked him. What is she, a fucking bird? Apparently, I wasn't the only one who was unimpressed because everyone else started chanting, "Boo! Give him some tongue."

I shuddered and looked away, but she must have done just that because, in short order, the boos turned into hooting.

Daphne asked Emmy Lou, "Truth or Dare?"

He smiled, looked over at Buck voraciously, and then turned back to Daphne, stating firmly, "Dare."

"I dare you to kiss Brad."

I rolled my eyes. "Did you two ladies plan this out? If you just wanted to neck, you should have gone parking."

When Daphne and Justin exchanged a confused glance, I sighed and preemptively shot a pillow at Ted. Got him right in the face, too (hee-hee).

Emmy Lou grabbed Biff by the neck and planted one on him, a kiss that seemed to go on forever. In fact, he straddled the poor guy halfway through and, by the end, was lying on top of him and grinding against him. That caused a great deal of whooping in the peanut gallery, as well as some licking and sucking on Justin's part (my neck). For the first time that night, I was glad that Justin's knowledge of 50s slang was woefully inadequate. When Emmy Lou let Burt up, he was grinning like the Cheshire cat and Bret was blushing (and wiping lip gloss off).

Then Emmy Lou asked Mikey, "Truth or Dare?"

Mikey smiled brightly and half-said, half-giggled, "Dare."

"I dare you to call Mel and talk dirty to her!"

Mikey didn't even blink; he just reached for the cordless.

I interjected, "Hell fucking no! Use your cell phone! Mel wouldn't even blink before sending the cops for me."

Justin nodded slowly, a solemn look in his eyes.

I muttered, "Twat" and kissed him on the cheek. He smiled a big smile. He was fucking toast. Course, so was I. But then I had been since that fateful day the sex god met his intrepid twink.

Mikey was now dialing the munchers' number on his cell phone. His eyes brightened, I'm guessing cause Mel answered. In a comically low voice, Mikey 'drawled,' "Hey baby, I wanna pound your cootchie with my huge wiener."

We all burst out laughing.

Mikey turned away from the phone to giggle, allowing us to hear Mel. She was screaming, "Who are you, motherfucker? If I find you, you won't have a wiener to pound anyone's cootchie with!"

Mikey continued, in his imitation of Barry White, "Come on, baby. I know you want the dick. I know you wanna feel it sliding in and out of you."

Justin was laughing so hard that tears had sprung to his eyes, though he tried to muffle the sound by burying his face in my chest. I took the opportunity to hold my Angel tight. God he felt so good in my arms.

Suddenly we heard Mel bellow, "Michael, is that you?"

Mikey's eyes nearly popped out of his head. He cried out, "Oh shit!" and threw the phone at Ben. Then he started giggling when Ben put the phone to his ear and said in his most ZenBen voice, "Mel, this is Ben. Michael accidentally called you. He thought he was talking to me."

Mel snapped (so loud that we could all hear her), "Why would he call you if you were with him, and since when have you had a 'cootchie?'"

Ben rubbed his forehead. "Uhhh…."

I laughed my ass off. For a solid thirty seconds. Then I crooked a finger, indicating that he should toss me the phone. He did (and breathed a sigh of relief).

"Mel, this is Brian. Mikey and Ben are drunk. Mikey was just fucking around."

Suddenly Lindsay was on the phone, asking, "You're having a party? Why didn't you invite us?"

Justin started laughing even harder, but now he was pointing at me, too. I flicked him in the forehead. He frowned and rubbed his head. I sighed and then 'kissed it better.' He rewarded me with a bright smile. I found myself smiling, too. I was so caught up in Justin that I'd stopped listening to Lindsay. The last thing I heard her say was "We'll see you soon!" Then she hung up.

I tossed the phone at Mikey, hard, and hissed, "That's just great, Mikey! Now the fucking munchers are coming!"

Justin nearly rolled off of my lap he was laughing so hard. Meanwhile Mikey shrugged and looked at me innocently. "Maybe they like acid…"

I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. "There goes my visitation with Sonnyboy."

Justin lifted my chin with a finger and gave me his best serious stare. Unfortunately, he kept breaking into giggles. "Brian." Giggle. "Wait, wait." Giggle. Deep breath. "Brian. You're…" Giggle. "You're being paranoid. We'll just maintain for a little while."

I tilted my head and gave him a blank stare. "You can't even maintain a straight face for two minutes."

Justin folded his arms on his chest and pouted. "I can, too!"

I rolled my lips into my mouth. Then I whispered in his ear, "Wiener."

Justin started giggling again. He covered his eyes with his hands and lamented, "You're right. We're fucked!"

Auntie Em froze and then jumped up. "That's it! Fuck."

I quirked an eyebrow. Everybody else gaped (even Justin; he'd come out of hiding).

"Let's all fuck! Then they'll definitely leave right away! I'm brilliant!" He took a bow.

Justin giggled and waggled his eyebrows at me. "I like that idea." Then he straddled me and started rubbing his cock against mine (which had been half-hard pretty much since the game began), while also lifting up my shirt and licking and sucking on my left nipple. In seconds, my dick was as hard as a rock.

Daphne furrowed her brow. "But…we're having fun. Don't you think they might want to have fun, too?"

Justin hadn't heard a word his best friend had said. He was now moaning and trying to unfasten my jeans. "Mmmm…Brian you're wearing too many clothes." He scratched his head. "How're you gonna fuck me with all these clothes on?"

I smirked. "Pardon us for a moment." Then I carried a wiggly and very horny Justin into the bedroom, where he proceeded to narrate our fuck.

"Oh yeah, that's it, lick my hole. Ohhhh, yeah. That feels soooo incredible."

"Could you spank me a little? I've been…I've been a very naughty boy."

Smack.

Smack.

Smack.

"Ohhh, Ohhhh…harder, faster. Please…"

Smack. Smack.

Smack. Smack.

Smack. Smack.

Smack. Smack.

Smack. Smack.

Smack. Smack.

"Oh…I feel like I'm floating…fuck…fuck me."

"Oh! Oh yeah. Ram my tight little ass with your huge, no ginormous, cock!"

"Mmmm…oh wait. Wait. I wanna kiss you. I wanna kiss you. You always taste so good. Your lips, they're so soft, but firm, too. No one can kiss like you do."

Bounce.

Kissing noises.

(muffled) "Brian, oh Brian…"

Creaking (though quieter than that made by regular beds).

"Oh fuck, oh fuck, Brian, Brian, I'm…I'm…gonna cum…OHHHHH!! OHHHHH! OHHHHH!"

Bounce.

Heavy panting.

"That was fucking amazing!"

"Fuck yeah, it was!"

(in a whisper) "I love you, Master."

(in a whisper) "I love you, too, Angel."

A couple minutes later, we were dressed again, though sweaty and a bit rumpled, and sitting back on the couch. Justin was in my lap again, his arms around my waist and his head on my shoulder, his eyes closed and a silly grin on his face.

Archie couldn't even look at us. He stared at the floor. But Mikey had no trouble. In fact, he was eying us up and down. Suspiciously. After a minute or two, I snapped, "What?"

Justin lifted his head and opened his eyes.

Mikey asked petulantly, "Why did Justin call you Master, Brian?"

I just stared at him and tried to maintain an impassive expression. Thankfully, I was saved from answering by the bell (well, a knock really). The munchers had arrived.

_**A/N: In Pieces world, Mel and Lindsay are not in the process of having another baby, not yet anyway.**_

Mikey cried out, "Oh fuck! They're here. Hide!" Then he ran behind the chaise and hunched down. I rolled my eyes. I pushed Justin off my lap and into a standing position. Then I took his hand and headed for the door. I laughed and shook my head when I saw Mikey moving as Emmett moved so that he was continually hidden from view. I took a deep breath and slid the loft door open.

Lindsay smiled brightly and said, "Hi!" Then I stepped aside and let her and Mel in. Mel looked around at everyone, her brow furrowed as though she were deep in thought. Then she asked, a hard edge to her voice, "Why are all your pupils dilated so much? And why is Michael hiding behind Emmett?"

Realizing that he'd been spotted, Mikey exclaimed, "Shit!" and hunched down even more.

I couldn't help but chuckle. Mel hissed, "Did you all drop acid?"

Justin smiled and nodded excitedly, like a little kid on Christmas morning. "We have more if you want some!"

Lindsay's eyes widened, as did her smile. "Oh Mel, could we?"

Mel shot her partner an incredulous look.

Lindsay leaned in and kissed Mel gently on the lips. Then she took her hand and squeezed it. "Come on, it'll be fun. We're always so busy being parents that we hardly ever have fun anymore."

"Lindsay…"

Lindsay grinned, and, with a wicked gleam in her eye, she whispered into Mel's ear, "I bet sex on acid is incredible!"

Mel stared at her partner for a few moments before smiling softly and nodding. "Ok."

Lindsay actually jumped a little and giggled. I drawled, "Mikey, I think it's safe to come out now."

Mikey poked his head out from behind the chaise, and then, after a moment's hesitation, he crawled back over to Ben. Ben smiled. "I was wondering where you disappeared to." I shook my head. Acid was the great equalizer. Ben pulled Mikey into his lap and wrapped his arms around him. Mikey snuggled deeper into his embrace.

That was the beginning of phase two in the chaos the loft had been thrown into. Twenty minutes later, Justin and I were back on the couch, playing Truth or Dare once more, but now Mel and Linds were sitting together on the floor next to dead man walking. Or dead man _sitting_, I guess. Mikey asked Justin, "Truth or Dare?"

Justin, who was back on my lap, his head resting on my shoulder, nuzzled my neck as he pondered this question. He brushed his lips, gently, so gently, over my earlobe causing me to shiver and giggle. Yes, giggle. Finally, he turned toward Mikey and said "Truth."

Mikey's eyes narrowed. He inquired, "Why did you call Brian Master before?"

Justin smiled and replied simply, "Cause that's what he is." As if that explained everything.

Mikey scratched his head. "You mean, like a master at sex?"

Justin looked at Mikey like he'd said monkeys had wings. He laughed and shook his head. "No…Cause Brian's my Master."

"Like he orders you around? Like you're his slave?"

Ted, Emmy Lou, Jughead, Brent, Lindsay, and Mel were staring at Justin, eyes wide. Ben had tilted his head and was also watching Justin, his chin resting on Mikey's shoulder. He didn't seem shocked at all.

Daphne was shaking her head. She started to answer for Justin. I quirked an eyebrow. "Justin lets Brian do his, you know, his control freak thing (my eyes widened at this), and, in return, Brian worships Justin (Mikey looked at me then, jealousy clouding his eyes; I took Justin's hand in mine and threaded our fingers together. I could feel him smile against my neck). They provide for each other's, you know, physical and emotional needs, but, like, in different ways. Brian (she pointed to me and then furrowed her brow, as though she were trying to remember something, probably what Justin had told her) Brian….takes pleasure in and is, like, comforted by Justin's obedience and desire to please, and Justin, well, he gets the same, you know, pleasure and comfort from Brian's…Brian's…shit! Um…from the way he looks at Justin, his…"

Ben interjected, in a soft voice, "His reverential gaze."

Daphne smiled and clapped her hands. "That's exactly it! Yeah, his reverential gaze. Doesn't that sound cool?"

Ted, Emmy Lou, Jughead, Brent, Mikey, Lindsay, and Mel didn't seem to know what to make of this.

Daphne added brightly, "And…and…well, you know that they're gonna get married, right? (Mel and Linds looked at me in surprise), well, it's not going to be a regular ceremony. It's gonna be a…a…what did you call it, Jus?"

"A collaring ceremony."

"Yeah. That's it."

Auntie Em jumped a little. "Ooo…a leather wedding! Can I help you plan it, Justin?"

Justin shrugged and smiled. "Sure."

Ted, Moose, and Boyd were still staring at Justin, eyes wide, and Mikey, Linds, and Mel were shaking their heads.

Daphne harrumphed when she perceived Mikey, Mel, and Linds's disapproval. "Well I think it's great! Brian is finally able to tell Justin all the things he needs to hear, they aren't tricking anymore, and Brian even bought him a ring." She took Justin's hand and lifted it up for all to see. Then in an awed whisper, she continued, "And, you know what it says on the inside part?"

She waited a few seconds for impact, and then, still in that awed whisper, she said, "Angel, Angel's what Brian calls Justin, 'Angel, my heart beats only for you.'"

Emmy Lou and even Linds awwed. Mel still seemed leery, but she looked less hostile, and Mikey looked so jealous; he was glaring at Justin. I turned and kissed Justin softly on the lips. Daphne sighed, "Shit if that's what it's like, I'd love for some hot guy to collar me!"

I chuckled, and Justin beamed. I held him tighter. I was kind of glad that Daphne couldn't keep anything to herself. I didn't want Justin to feel like our relationship was something to be ashamed of. Something less than what everyone else had. He'd felt that way for far too long already, before our relationship had changed.

Justin asked Ted, "Truth or Dare?"

"Dare."

"Mmmm…I dare you…to dance like ballerina, no, no, a slutty ballerina and to strip as you pirouette!"

I whispered in Justin's ear, "And I thought I was evil…I'm impressed."

Justin just beamed.

Ted sighed and then stood up. Everyone watched him, eagerly anticipating the show.

Ted first removed his shoes and socks and then unfastened his pants and let them fall to the floor. Emmy Lou was whooping and Linds and Mel were yelling, "Ooo baby, take it off!"

Ted lifted one leg up, letting his pants slip off of it and bringing his foot, perfectly pointed, up to his knee. Then he placed the foot back down. Now it was pointed outward. Next he kicked his other leg back, sending his pants flying across the loft as he stretched his leg out and high behind him. Then he brought it back down, pushed his underwear (tighty whiteys, of course) down past his belly, and got up on both toes, arms out and curved in front of him. He jumped up and down a couple of times, which caused his underwear to fall the rest of the way. He jumped again, this time so that they fell past his ankles and onto the floor in a little pile.

I quirked an eyebrow. Ted was wayyyy too good at this. Everyone else had fallen into a stunned silence. Then Ted pulled his sweater off and, while pirouetting, twirled it above his head like a lasso, finally sending it flying across the room. He rose up onto his toes once more and then back down, ending with a deep bow. Auntie Em, Mikey, Ben, Mel, Linds, Justin, Brady, Moose, and Daphne all clapped and cheered as Ted collected his clothes and dressed.

Justin exclaimed, "Wow! I didn't know that you'd taken ballet."

Ted nodded. "For a few years. Baryshnikov was my idol. Course, I stopped dancing when the kids at school found out. They kept calling me Tedra Pavlova."

Emmy Lou wrinkled his nose and frowned. "Kids can be so cruel."

Ted nodded. Then he asked me, "Truth or Dare?"

Justin smiled and turned toward me, eager to hear my choice.

"Dare."

"I dare you to sing a song to Justin."

That got a few laughs.

"Can I just dedicate a dirty limerick to him?"

I cleared my throat and recited, "There once was a boy named Justin

After my cock he was always lustin

He'd lick and hum

And gulp down my cum

Like it was peach-flavored ice cream."

Mel and Jughead grimaced, Linds and Daphne smiled and shook their heads, Barry, Emmett, Mikey, and Ben grinned, and Justin giggled. And giggled. Then he giggled some more. I couldn't help but smile (and gaze at him a little).

But dead man twirling shook his head firmly. "It has to be a song. And you have to sing it."

I groaned.

After a couple minutes of dead silence, everyone staring at me in anticipation, and me racking my brain for a song, one popped into my head. It was perfect. I cleared my throat again and then began to sing (softly), all the while looking at Justin,

"Tell me why the stars do shine,

Tell me why the vine does twine,

Tell me why the sky is blue,

And I'll tell you why I love you."

Everyone just gaped at me, stunned. Well, except Justin. He was suddenly troubled by his allergies.

I muttered, "Sentimental twat," wiped away his tears, and then kissed him passionately. A couple minutes in, when Justin had moved to straddle (and grind against) me, my fingers tangled in silky blond hair, we were attacked with a barrage of pillows from all directions. I broke our kiss and snarled, "What the fuck?"

Ted deadpanned, "Uh, it's your turn…"

Justin and I both sighed (at the same exact moment), and he turned so he was sitting sideways in my lap.

Emmy Lou inquired hesitantly, "How did you know that song anyway?"

I looked down at the floor and cleared my throat. "My…my mother used to sing it to me."

Then I laughed, not a little bitterly. "Funny, right?"

Avoiding everyone's eyes, I smirked and asked Mel, as evenly as I could, "Truth or Dare?"

Her eyes held mine for a few seconds. She could see the challenge there. Never one to back down, even when it was in her best interest, she replied, "Dare."

My tongue firmly planted in my cheek, I said, "I dare you to get a beer out of the fridge, drink it, and then blow it."

That elicited quite a few gasps and giggles and one angry exclamation ("Brian!") from Lindsay.

My eyes never left Mel's. She gritted her teeth, but then went for a beer. She actually rinsed it off before bringing it back. Then she slammed it.

"How long?"

"A minute."

"Start timing me."

I pulled out my cell phone and hit the stop watch. "Go."

Lindsay was desperately trying not to laugh, but she was having trouble, so she hid her face with her hands, although she peeked through her fingers once in a while.

Mel licked the bottle from bottom to top (on all 'sides') in four long licks. Then she took three-quarters of the bottle into her mouth, earning her hoots and whoops from the peanut gallery (she had nearly seven inches in her mouth). Then she bobbed her head, drawing the bottle in and out, taking a little more each time.

Finally I called, "Time."

Mel smiled at me triumphantly. Impressed, I nodded.

Emmett shook his head. "What a loss for dick the world over!"

That gave just about everyone a giggle, even Archie.


	37. Invasion of the Tripping Lunatics Part 2

**Brian's POV**

Mel asked Ben, "Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

Mel smiled an evil smile and then asked, "What's the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you?"

"When I was 17…" Ben stopped, looked up at the ceiling, and then back at us. Now he had a smile on his face. He placed his hand over his heart and sang, "When I was 17…" Then he giggled (Mikey joined him, nearly rolling off of his lap). Finally, Ben continued, in a speaking voice, I was in a summer program for literature at Harvard. The whole summer, I had a HUGE, HUGE, crush on my professor. I was a little shy back then, so, even though he had my gaydar pinging off the charts, I didn't act on my crush, not until the last day…"

Daphne exclaimed, "Oh God! What did you do?"

"I snuck into his office, stripped down, and then sprawled out on his couch."

Lindsay's eyes nearly popped out of her head, and Mel made a tsk-ing sound.

Justin asked in an excited voice, "Were you hard when he walked in?"

Ben lowered his head and then nodded. "I'd been thinking about him and I was lying on a leather couch…"

I chuckled. I remembered how much leather turned Ben on.

Ben blushed, actually blushed! "I'd even started jerking off, so my cock was dripping."

Ted gaped (but was smiling, too), and his eyes were wide. He asked, "So?? What happened?"

"The professor walked in…with his wife and two kids…"

Daphne buried her face in her hands. When she re-emerged, she exclaimed, "I would DIE! I would just DIE!"

Ben nodded solemnly.

Justin prodded eagerly, "So what did you do?"

Ben gestured with his hands (the kind of gesture that indicated a shrug). "What could I do? For a few seconds, I was frozen. The kids stared at me with wide eyes, the wife became frantic, trying to turn the kids around so that they would no longer be exposed to my perversion and started screaming at me."

I asked, "What was your professor doing?"

Ben smiled a little shyly. "He gazed at me and licked his lips."

Justin's mouth fell open. Then he started laughing and shaking his head. We all joined him.

"When the wife started throwing books at me, I jumped up and ran out of the room. I didn't even have the presence of mind to grab my clothes, so I ended up sprinting back to my dorm, my hands over my dick. It was humiliating. It was late afternoon on a Friday. Everyone was just coming out of class. I don't think there was a student or teacher who didn't get a peek at my bare ass."

We all laughed harder.

Justin inquired, "Did you ever see that professor again?"

Ben smiled brightly. "Yeah. He came by that same night to my dorm to return my clothes…"

Daphne exclaimed, "Oh my God! Did he fuck you?"

Ben nodded. "Many, many times. He didn't leave until dawn. Thankfully, my roommate for the summer was partying all night. He didn't come back until the next afternoon."

Justin exclaimed, "Wow! Cool!"

Mikey had been silent this entire time, observing Ben closely, with a sad, almost wistful, look on his face.

Ben, oblivious to his partner's unease, shrugged. "Yeah, it turned out alright, but I paid, and dearly, for the marathon fuck."

"What do you mean?"

"I was the student newspaper's top story the next day. Nearly the whole front page was a picture of me running through the Quad with my hand over my dick."

"Holy shit!"

Everyone (but Mikey) burst out laughing. In fact, we laughed for a solid three minutes or so. When we had all recovered, Mikey finally spoke. He inquired hesitantly, "So he was really good, huh?"

Ben tilted his head in confusion.

Mikey clarified, "You liked it when he fucked you?"

Ben looked down and nodded slowly.

Mikey sighed and looked away.

Ben moved his head so that he was facing Mikey and smiled. He said, "Hey, what's wrong?"

"Since when did you like being fucked so much?"

Ben laughed. "I was 17!"

Mikey exclaimed indignantly, "You let Brian fuck you!"

I sighed. Justin leaned his head on my shoulder and then nuzzled my neck.

Ben just stared at Mikey for a moment. Then he yelled, yes yelled, "You wanna fuck me? You want me to beg for your cock??"

Mikey, now pouting, nodded.

Ben hissed, "Then act like a man!"

We all stared, most of us gaping.

Mikey turned as white as a sheet, which was quite a feat, since he was already very light complexioned.

Ben continued, "Push me up against a wall or bend me over a God-damned table and fucking take me if you want me!"

No one said a word or even breathed. We just watched with varying degrees of horror etched on our faces. Then Mikey did something, no one, not even Mikey himself, could have foreseen. He stood up, grabbed Ben by the hand, and pulled him to a standing position and out the door. They didn't get far (the hall). In short order, we heard a slam and then grunting and moaning.

Emmett jumped up and ran over to the door. He was just about to pull it open when Lindsay whisper-yelled, "What are you doing?"

Emmett just stared at Lindsay. Then he replied, "Duh…spying…"

"Oh you can't! This is, apparently, a milestone for them. Think about how much it took Michael to take the initiative, especially in front of people…"

Justin added his two cents. "Well, after what Ben said, he had to…"

I nodded my agreement, so did the rest of the men, even Archie.

Emmett asked conspiratorially, "So…are we doing this?"

Lindsay shook her head no. And firmly.

Emmett protested, "Oh come on! We have to take a peek! Don't tell me you aren't all dying to see!"

Unfortunately for Emmett, his protest was followed by a strangled cry and, a couple moments later, Ben and Mikey's re-entry. When the door started to open, Emmett threw up his hands, gasped, and starting running back to his seat. He slipped and nearly tumbled over the chaise. He would have, but Bart caught him. Emmy Lou was a comical sight when Ben and Mikey walked in, all flushed and trembly.

Mikey and Ben were smiling when they walked back in, Mikey, brightly, and Ben, sheepishly. We all started studying various objects in the loft, the floor, the ceiling, the windows, the couch, etc. When they were seated again, Ben asked, "So who's turn is it?"

I chuckled. "Well, I think that what just happened counts as daring Mikey, so it's Mikey's turn."

Ben laughed. "Fair enough."

Mikey was all benevolence. "It's okay. Ben can have my turn."

Ben asked Justin, "Truth or dare?"

Justin purred, "Mmmm…Dare."

Ben grinned and said, "Masturbate in front of everyone."

Justin's eyes widened. "Here? Now?"

Ben nodded.

Justin stuttered, "But Lindsay and Mel are here…"

Ben just stared at him for a moment and then gestured toward the center of the room with his head.

Justin wrinkled his nose cutely.

**Justin's POV**

I moved to sit on the floor in the center of the living room (on the rug). Suddenly, everything looked like it was in black in white. Except that the whites were so bright. So very bright. It was like they were throbbing, flooding my vision. It was almost as if everyone had a spotlight on them and everything else was dark, like a play or a TV show, but without the color. But I wasn't dizzy or anything. In fact, I felt incredible. Like I could fly if I wanted to (or spontaneously orgasm). I was actually a little excited about this bit of exhibitionism (mostly because I knew it would turn Brian, Master, on and because I was eager to have another orgasm; plus, Lindsay and Mel were but an indistinct bright white blob now).

I lay on the rug, facing Brian. He smiled a little. He was watching me intently. That made _me_ smile.

I slowly unbuttoned and unzipped my pants, lifted up my ass, and then sort of shimmied out of them. Then I pushed them the rest of the way down with my foot. Next, I arched my back and pulled my shirt off, sliding it off slowly. Brian's eyes darkened with desire. I licked my lips. Then I touched my cock with one finger. Tracing circles in my precum (which caused more to flow out). I slid my hand over the tip of my cock, smearing my shaft with my precum and then squeezing it hard. I moaned and arched my back, thrusting upward. Then, still looking only at Brian (who was frozen, staring at me with a look that made my heart skip a beat), I bit my lip and started stroking my cock in earnest. I began to pant, and my eyelids drooped a little. I lifted my free hand to my mouth and traced my lips with a finger. Then I slipped it into my mouth and started sucking on it slowly, languorously. Brian spread his legs a little, I imagined, because his cock had hardened to an uncomfortable extent. Next I sent my spit-slick finger down between my legs, to my entrance, tracing circles around it before finally pushing it inside. The moment I did, I heard soft gasps and one low growl. I smiled a million-watt smile, but it soon became something else (when I grazed my prostate). I was suddenly desperate to cum. I started pumping my hips, thrusting upward and arching my back, all the while continuing to jerk off.

I breathed, "Fuck, oh fuck…"

And then gasped, "Brian…"

One minute Brian was on the couch gazing at me hungrily and the next between my legs. He pushed my hand away and deepthroated me in one go. I moaned a deep body moan, loudly, threaded my fingers through soft chestnut hair, and then started fucking Brian's mouth, pushing my cock deeper inside his mouth, the tip of my cock deeper into his throat (Brian took it all; that thought gave me the most delicious shudder). But I couldn't help it (couldn't stop myself from fucking Brian's mouth). All I could see was bright white light, and all I could feel was pleasure, warm gushing pleasure, like I was surrounded by warm gel. It surrounded me, undulating against my skin, bringing me ever closer to completion. I began to mutter-moan, "Of fuck, oh God, oh Brian, yes, yes, yes!"

Then I was shooting my load down his throat.

Then Brian was redressing me, his face a little tight (I doubt he planned to finish me off; Brian was still uncomfortable letting others know just how much he desired me, how little control he had where I was concerned).

Then I was wrapped in Brian's warm embrace. I sighed in contentment. Brian smiled softly. I was melty and floaty and so fucking happy.

I should have known then what was coming. Every time life is good, perfect, someone sneaks up behind me with a bat and bashes my head in (literally and figuratively).

But I was oblivious to the coming danger. I smiled naughtily and asked Lindsay, "Truth or dare?"

She was pondering the question when _it_ happened. We didn't realize until this moment that Mikey had not locked the door or reset the alarm.

It was the loft door sliding open. A strange reversal of a dream that had plagued me for months after the bashing. The loft door sliding open to reveal Chris Hobbs. Chris Hobbs and two guys who'd played football with Chris in high school.

They were all carrying guns.

_**A/N: The scene Brian refers to at the beginning of the tripping truth or dare game is still to come....**_


	38. Face Off

Brian's POV

I stood, pushed Justin to his feet (he'd been sitting on my lap) and around the side of the couch, and then shoved him into a crouching position. I decided to see how far bluster would get me. I swung around and sauntered up to the gun-toting trio and barked, "What the fuck do you want?" Meanwhile (as I saw in my peripheral vision), realizing that the intruders were distracted by me, the gang rushed for cover. Daphne and Archie made a mad dash for the other side of the couch (where Justin was), and Brent crawled behind the chaise, on which he and Emmett had been sitting, pulling Emmett down with him. Mel and Linds crawled to the coffee table and around it until they were hidden behind it, and Ted joined them. Then stupidly brave Ben pushed Mikey off of his lap and behind him, but didn't move from his perfectly Zen cross-legged position.

My question, and my sharp tone, had taken the trio by surprise, as I had hoped it would. In fact, they all gaped at me for a long moment. Finally, idiot number one (Chris Hobbs) snapped, "What do we want? Isn't that obvious? To finish the job."

I swallowed hard, and my hands shook, but I quickly got my body and my facial expression under control. My hands now steady and my face impassive, I nodded slowly. Then, in an even voice, I asked, "So you're prepared to kill ten people?"

Hobbs's blank stare and furrowed brow told me he hadn't considered anything beyond shooting Justin and perhaps me. "You aren't wearing masks. Even if you managed to evade the cameras outside and in the downstairs entryway, which you probably didn't, there are ten of us here. If you leave anyone alive, there will be witnesses. A judge might not give you jail time for the rape charge, but murder is another thing altogether."

Hobbs's friends both muttered, "Rape charge?" Fucking Christ! Didn't these goons read the paper?

I forced myself to smirk and drawl, "Even worse for you, one of the ten people here is a cop. Do you know what cops do to a person who kills one of their own? If they catch you, you'll be begging for jail time."

Idiot number two (a tall, broad-shouldered guy with a shock of red hair, pale skin, and freckles all over his face) cried out, "Chris, you didn't say anything about killing a cop!"

Idiot number three (a short burly troll with bad skin, dishwater blond hair, and an overbite) nodded firmly.

Hobbs clenched his jaw and spat out, "Who's gonna care what happens to a bunch of fags?"

I tilted my head and narrowed my eyes. "Really? _Really_? Do you think playing the "my victims were gay card" is gonna work for ten counts of first-degree murder? That's a far cry from simple assault, even if it was a hate crime. Plus, your former classmate Daphne and her boyfriend aren't fags. And I highly doubt that anyone knows the cop is gay. And please. You kind of outed yourself when you raped a man. The gay card works both ways, you know. Oh…and yeah. Did I happen to mention that there are cops patrolling this street? One gunshot will bring them all up here. Even if you manage to kill us all, the cops outside will intercept you. And even if they don't, which is highly unlikely, I imagine one of the cameras got a good look at you coming in. The moral of the story is you're fucked. Your only hope is to get out. Now. And unless those guns are registered, I'd suggest leaving them here."

Hobbs shook his head. "You have got to be fucking kidding me!" But idiot number two (the red head) took my words to heart. He laid his gun on the floor and backed out the door, his hands up in a gesture of surrender until I could no longer see him. As he tromped down the stairs, I could hear him mutter, "I'm not risking jail time for a fucking faggot!"

I huffed a laugh. "And then there were two…"

Hobbs turned back and swore when he saw that one of his friends had chickened out.

Suddenly Ben whispered, hissed really, "Justin, get down!"

I snapped my head back and saw that Justin had poked his head up from behind the couch. Hobbs heard Ben's hiss and immediately squeezed the trigger (he had been holding his gun in front of him, his feet a few inches apart and both hands on the gun; in fact, all three had been positioned that way when we first saw them.) I heard the gunshot and then heard Justin cry out in pain.

The next thing I know, I'm on top of Hobbs, his gun in my hand, beating him with the butt of it. Though I did not know it at the time (the gang later filled me in about what had transpired before Hobbs pulled the trigger and while I was beating him senseless), Brad had spent the few minutes I was talking to the intruders slowly making his way to the front of the living room, crawling quietly from one piece of furniture to another. So when I tackled Hobbs, Bud was close enough to lunge at the other guy, disarming him in a matter of seconds. Unfortunately, Bud was a little bit tripping, so he was easily distracted. Once he had the gun, he smiled and breathed a sigh of relief, completely forgetting to turn the gun on the guy he was straddling. He just held it in the palm of his hand. So idiot number three threw Bud off of him, sending the gun sliding along the floor and out the door and Bud into the wall (and with such force that the collision knocked Bud out cold). Then idiot number three scrambled for the gun the 'traitor' had left behind. Both Ben and Mel jumped to their feet and rushed toward him. Mikey cried out, "Ben, don't! You'll be killed!" and then jumped to his feet and rushed after Ben, trying to grab him around the waist and pull him back. Eventually Mikey managed it, but not for a few minutes. It took Ben quite some time to disengage Mikey, who was sobbing desperately as he kept reattaching himself to Ben and trying to drag him back to safety.

So that left only Mel. She managed to seize idiot number three's legs and yank him back. Unfortunately for Mel, being a relatively small though strong woman (as I knew well from the many times she'd punched me in the arm or the chest), she managed to yank him hard, but the force of the yank sent her tumbling backward. She hit her head on the coffee table and lost consciousness. Linds cried out, "Mel" and started crawling toward her. Then Ted, Emmett, and Archie and a recently freed Ben all lunged at idiot number three. They tackled him football style, piling up on top of him.

As I mentioned earlier, I had been unaware of all of this. The second I had heard Justin cry out in pain, I had gone berserk. I was blinded by rage. All I could see was Justin lying in a pool of blood and Justin, bloody and bruised, lying on that filthy mattress in the crack house. All I could hear was Justin's small voice. So many words swirled in my head, frightened, pleading, desolate words:

"_It's dark. I can't move. Everything hurts." _

"_It's not like I blame you. I'm bruised all over and after seeing me at that house and then in the hospital…Ugly, weak, and helpless. Filthy."_

"_Why couldn't it always be you?" _

"_Make me yours again. Please." _

"_I'm going to get sick and die."_

"_If you are so hot to blame someone, blame me! I was the one who taunted Hobbs on Liberty Avenue, and I was the one who went to Ethan's apartment that night. I believed his bullshit. Put myself in danger…After all that, I don't know how Brian can love me."_

"_You really still love me? Still want me?"_

Those words propelled me on as I wrestled Hobbs to the ground, ripped the gun from his hand, and started beating his face in with the butt of it. I hit him over and over and over again until his face was a bruised, bloody, swollen mess. And I wouldn't have stopped. Not until Hobbs had stopped breathing and maybe not even then, when his body had grown cold and lifeless. But then I heard Justin's voice again. More frightened, pleading words. He cried out, "I'm okay. I'm okay. Daphne tackled me to the ground. I hit my head on the floor, but Chris missed me. You don't have to do this. Please, stop…stop…"

More frightened, pleading words. But this time, I was the cause of Justin's fear and desperation. I froze mid swing and looked over at Justin. He was crying, his face pale. Linds and Emmett had paused their ministrations on their wounded lovers to look up at me in shock, and Daphne, Jughead, Ted, and Mikey, everyone but Ben and Justin, were gaping at me. I shook my head to clear it and then set the gun down on the floor gently. The soft thud sent an unpleasant shiver down my spine. There was blood everywhere. On the gun, on my hand, on the floor, pooling around Hobbs's head, all over Hobbs's face and neck. Not counting the blood that had splattered on my face, neck, and chest. I slid off of Hobbs and onto the floor. Then I let my head fall and closed my eyes. I had done what I'd just narrowly avoided doing at the police station. Now Justin could see me as I truly was. In all my gruesome glory, crowned and bathed in blood, hovering over a near corpse. Born and raised in cruelty and violence, I had become what I loathed.

I was a monster.

The fear in Justin's voice and the looks of shock and horror I saw on just about everyone's faces told me that.

Which is why I was shocked to find Justin in my lap a second later, his arms wrapped tightly around my neck, his warm breath tickling my ear as he whispered, so fast and so urgently, "Master, I was so scared. So scared I was going to lose you. That you'd kill him and they'd take you from me…You can't ever let that happen. Remember what you said in the limo on our date? You said, 'I need you with me. Always.'"

Justin let his head fall onto my shoulder. I could feel the wetness of his tears on my skin (I was wearing a wife beater). In a voice that trembled, he repeated softly, "Always."

I wrapped my arms around Justin and held him tight. So tight. Then I murmured softly, "Always, Angel. Always."


	39. Circling the Wagons, Take Two

**Justin's POV**

Brian was a mess. He wouldn't look at me, or anyone else, and he wouldn't move. I suppose he was planning to wait until the cops arrived and then confess to his 'crime.' That wasn't gonna happen. I wouldn't let it. Brian had gone above and beyond for me so many times, helping me through everything, my 'people problem' after the bashing, my anger and frustration over my gimp hand, my futile struggle to get my father to accept me, the aftermath of the rape...The enormity of it all hit me then. A self-proclaimed selfish asshole had somehow managed to be everything I needed when I needed it most. Because he loved me. My heart stopped beating for a moment, and I couldn't breathe. I felt this strange (not unpleasant) shiver, and my eyes were suddenly damp. There was no way I was letting anything bad happen to him. Not for this. Not for anything.

I drew in a shuddery breath and then stated, no, declared, to the friend of Chris's who had remained, "When the cops get here, you are going to say that after Chris shot at me and Brian tackled him, Chris kept wrestling Brian for the gun, that Brian hit Chris with the butt of it, but only until he lost consciousness."

He glared at me and hissed, "Why the fuck should I do that?"

I snapped, "Do you want to go to jail?"

The short burly troll didn't respond.

I continued, "In exchange, for your swearing that every blow Chris suffered was self-defense, we'll swear that Chris was the only one with a gun and that you tried to stop him from shooting." By then, Brad and Mel had come to. I looked around at everyone. They all gaped at me for a moment, well, except Ben (apparently, Brian's new best friend), Michael (Brian's old best friend), and, oddly enough, Mel and Brad. As representatives of the law, I thought that they would give me the most trouble. Mel had an even bigger reason to let Brian fry; she still despised him. Or so I had thought. But the way she was looking at him now, I wondered. Had she come to respect him?

After the shock had worn off (for Emmett, Ted, Lindsay, Daphne, and her boyfriend), everyone started murmuring their assent.

I turned back to the troll, hissing, "So do you agree?"

He was glaring at me, but he nodded.

Brian lifted his head, but still avoided everyone's gaze. His voice rough and gravely, he said, "No. Don't cover for me."

I was just barely staving off panic. I took a deep breath and leaned down so that my face was directly in front of Brian's. At first he avoided my eyes. But when I whispered, "Master, look at me," he did. There was so much self-loathing and hopelessness in his eyes that it broke my heart. I said, as evenly as I could manage, "You've done so much for me, for so many of us here. Let us at least _try_ to help you. Could you do that for me, please? For me and for Lindsay, Michael, and Gus? I _need_ you with me. Always. _We_ need you."

He didn't really reply, whispering simply, and so softly I could barely hear it, "Always, Angel." But he stopped protesting.

Then, my voice firm, though my hands shook, I inquired, "Should we clean up some of this blood?"

Brad strode forward, shaking his head. "They'll know if you do that. I'll go downstairs and inform the cops guarding Tremont. They can call it in. All we need to do is provide similar accounts of what happened. Chris came in here with a gun and shot at you. We were unarmed, and this is Brian's apartment. He might have gone a bit overboard, but it was definitely self-defense. And if we say that Brian stopped when Chris stopped grabbing for the gun, they shouldn't even need to arrest him. They'll tell him not to leave the state, but that's standard operating procedure. The fact that Chris's friend's story matches ours should clinch it, no matter what Chris says after he wakes up." Brad sighed. "I'll have to get rid of two of the guns, but that shouldn't be too hard. I'm a cop, and people will be swarming in and out of here.

As I looked at him (and his eyes), I gaped. The panic returned full steam. "Oh God! Our eyes are all dilated so much, they look black. What if they…"

Brad patted me on the shoulder and looked at me, his eyes intense, though his voice sounded light, "It's just shock, Justin. Just shock."

I nodded and tried not to look as freaked out as I was. I had forgotten that Chris's friend was still there, listening. "Of course. Shock."

TBC…(later today)


	40. Coming Back Around

A/N: I wasn't going to do this (end the story and start a sequel), but, last night, I decided that this chapter represented a huge break. The conflicts from the first chapters have been resolved, and what comes next is definitely something different. I think I'm going to skip the rape trial, unless you all want me to start with parts of that (in the sequel, which I'll begin in a couple of weeks). Otherwise, I'll skip ahead a few months to just before the collaring ceremony. I made a promise, which I intend to keep, to have Brian and Justin's relationship become more like most D/s relationships (which was hard with the rape investigation and Chris and Ethan being out on bail). Now that it's no longer a secret, this choice will definitely have consequences (e.g., with friends and family). I know that many of you also want to see Gus make an appearance, so I'll incorporate him (In general, I'm a little afraid to write kids, which is why I sometimes leave Gus out of my stories. I've been around children a lot, but I don't have any of my own, so I'm always afraid I'll goof something up. Little Ray has been hard for me to write for that very reason. I always do so much research for every installment because I really want to get the 'pregnancy experience' right).

Michael's POV

Last night, Brian had been a zombie again. And covered in blood, though not his own. And someone was in the hospital, in a coma after being hit in the head with a blunt object. Just like the night of the bashing. There were, however, some major differences. This time, Brian had been able to stop Chris from hurting Justin. This time, Chris was the one in the coma. This time, Brian hadn't leaned on me (a fact causing me much less bitterness than I expected; I found myself in the curious position of being glad that, if it wasn't me, at least it wasn't Ben. I knew all too well the effect a vulnerable Brian could have on a man). This time, Brian didn't spend the next night getting so fucked up he couldn't see and organizing an orgy of mammoth proportions. This time, he wasn't pushing Justin away. And this time, Chris was paying for what he had done.

After we'd all given our statements (that was the longest night of my life; going to the police station tripping was the worst idea in the world; thank God trauma tended to make people a little freaky), the cops let us go home. The next afternoon, this afternoon, the prosecutor used the attempted shooting to get the judge to revoke bail not only for Chris but also for Ethan (The judge was a real piece of work. I doubt he would have agreed, but he was feeling pressure from every angle: Debbie and PFLAG, whatever 'troops' Mel was able to rally, Jennifer and her remaining country club friends, a few of Ben's fellow professors, and even some of Lindsay's artist friends. They all spent the morning reaching out and touching someone, or, rather, some people, be it through protests or phone calls). So Ethan was sent back to jail, and Chris, after the doctors stabilized him, was sent to a prison hospital. According to Justin, after a long, long shower, he and Brian spent the day in bed. As far as I knew, they were still there.

Many things had changed. They hadn't really been the same since Brian saw Justin on that street corner almost three years ago. But I didn't really begin to see the differences until the night of the bashing. Brian was a ghost of himself that night. More so even than when he used to come to my house in the middle of the night after beatings. He had been wounded by the bashing in a way that I'd never seen him wounded. Even then, I tried to pretend everything was the same. Brian and I were both deep in denial. Neither of us wanted to admit that Justin owned his heart. I was on my way from main to recurring character, and I didn't like it one bit. I kept thinking, like Brian I guess, that if I acted 'normal' and put on the blinders, somehow it wouldn't really be happening. But it was. It is.

Every time I saw Brian these days, some new revelation shocked me further out of my comfort zone. The worst began with that lookalike hustler. Then the slew of confessions at the intervention. Then Brian calling Justin his boyfriend. Then the public I love you. Then the engagement. Then the dominance and submission thing. Then the way Brian lost control when he thought Justin had been shot. He seriously came a hair's breadth from killing Chris. And if Justin hadn't stopped him, he probably would have. That kind of love was a little scary, no doubt about it, but, if I were honest, I'd have to say that it's the kind of love I wanted. The kind of love I hoped I had, or would one day have, with Ben. But of course…first I needed to forsake all others. Brian and Justin weren't married yet, but they had already taken that step. And they were well on their way early on. So early.

So far, everything had been proceeding as Brad had predicted. Brad was planning to 'find' the two guns (after getting the prints off). Brian hadn't been arrested, and it looked like the cops had no plans of arresting him. Even if Chris remembered what had happened later and claimed that Brian had assaulted him much more than was necessary to disarm him, eleven other people who didn't have their heads beat in that night (it sounds bad, but head injuries do mess with the memory; just ask Justin) and weren't charged with rape had gone on record to the contrary. Brian would never face charges for this, Chris's dumbass move had cost him and Ethan their bail, and, according to Carl, a witness had just come forward, wrecking Chris's and Ethan's chances of getting the rape charge dismissed. In fact, the cops had brought the Sap in for questioning. It seems he had supplied Ethan and Chris with the drugs needed to subdue Justin. Best yet, Justin would never need to sue PIFA. After the revocation of bail and the witness coming forward, one threatening phone call from Mel's friend was all it took to get PIFA's administrators to invite Justin back to school. Those assholes. They'd thought it was perfectly fine to try sweeping the rape under the carpet until it became clear that Ethan and Chris would probably do jail time for this. Justin was no less the victim of a crime today. But today, he could prove it. Apparently that was all that mattered. What you could prove.

I guess that was true for everyone. Justin knew Brian loved him (or suspected anyway), but he'd needed assurances. And I had been willing to pretend Brian didn't love Justin until there was absolutely no way to deny it. We all were (except Ben). In fact, Justin might try to tell you different, but he needed more than just assurances. The intervention bought Brian some time, a second chance for sure, but, at the end of the day, Justin needed the words. Course, Justin had gotten that and then some. After last night…the last few months…the last three years, nothing would ever be the same. What the heck did you wear to a collaring ceremony anyway? Would Gus be the collar bearer? (giggling now) Oh God. No one'd told Ma yet. She was gonna FLIP!


End file.
